is this normal?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 5
is this normal?
hi, been tyrin to fgiure out if need detox or even need to be in here. I cant seem to stop all of these things on any given day but can stop one or two on any given day.......know been kind of cranky in room tyring to understand. i dont wanna go to my doc if what im doing isn't a big medical deal (got real reasons why can't go to doc that cant get into that here).
typically my day:......morning crawl outta bed, take adderal and drink coffee and wait for it to kick in. by early afternoon, crashing...so take alot more. if i have a headache or any other pain i take soemthing for that (all i got now is percs). when i get home i'm all stresseed out from work and if i can't drink right away i take benzos (whateve i can get, now clonopins/valium0....then drink about 4 -5 dirnks. and still cant sleep or wanna sleep so take some sleeping pills ....and ii' m up again feelin like crap until i crank up on speed and repeat process.
i dont even know what my point is...guess cant get all of this out in caht so figured id try here. i tried to stop alittle while ago and got soooo freaking depressed when stopped the speed but doubled up on the benzos and drinking when i got home from work....people noticed so went back to speed.
any comments?
my bellated easter dance for ya all
typically my day:......morning crawl outta bed, take adderal and drink coffee and wait for it to kick in. by early afternoon, crashing...so take alot more. if i have a headache or any other pain i take soemthing for that (all i got now is percs). when i get home i'm all stresseed out from work and if i can't drink right away i take benzos (whateve i can get, now clonopins/valium0....then drink about 4 -5 dirnks. and still cant sleep or wanna sleep so take some sleeping pills ....and ii' m up again feelin like crap until i crank up on speed and repeat process.
i dont even know what my point is...guess cant get all of this out in caht so figured id try here. i tried to stop alittle while ago and got soooo freaking depressed when stopped the speed but doubled up on the benzos and drinking when i got home from work....people noticed so went back to speed.
any comments?
my bellated easter dance for ya all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
If what you are describing was me, I would find a place that does multipharm (multiple pharmaceuticals) detox, and then find a rehab that deals in the same. For me it would be too much to handle on my own and I would want someone who knew what they were doing to help me through it.
I hope you find peace.
I hope you find peace.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 862
Wow, I don't even know what to tell you. The safest thing to do for you both mentally and physically here is to deal with these things one at a time, starting with the thing you take the least and ending with the thing you take the most. If you really want to stop this you need to talk to a competent doctor who deals with these sorts of things specifically.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 167
first of all, percs have oxycontin in them which is highly addictive, very highly addictive, not sure about adehral, and speed in something to keep you up. you are in a merry go round, on top of that your taking benzos which can be life threatening when you stop them without a proper taper program.....I would go see a dr right away as you are on the road to destruction from multiple addictions.......please, get help, dont stop this on your own......
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Originally Posted by ryse 
hi, been tyrin to fgiure out if need detox or even need to be in here.
any comments?
any comments?
when you said "or even need to be in here," were you asking if your behaviors would qualify you as someone with a drug/alcohol addiction problem? if so, the answer is yes.
those are classic addict behaviors, every one of them. what you described really makes me worry about you, your health and your well being.
i think Latte's recommendation about finding a multipharm (multiple pharmaceuticals) detox/rehab is a very good idea. there are a number of elements involved here, so i think the best thing you could do would be to put yourself into the hands of people who would have more professional knowledge and experience with these kinds of situations.
you can beat this. recognizing the situation for what it is is a big part of being able to get clean.
my best wishes to you.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
one more thing just caught me...the title of your thread.
"is this normal?"
the answer is no, at least not in the world outside of addiction. the fact that it might feel normal to you is just another sign of how far out the problem has gone. the addict part of your mind might be doing everything to tell you that fooling around with these things to this degree is "normal," but it ain't so. we could also get into the whole "what is normal" talk here, but i don't think that would help. let's use the word "healthy" instead. it ain't healthy. wild guess here, but i'm going to suppose that it really isn't helping you in really leading your life "anymore" either.
"is this normal?"
the answer is no, at least not in the world outside of addiction. the fact that it might feel normal to you is just another sign of how far out the problem has gone. the addict part of your mind might be doing everything to tell you that fooling around with these things to this degree is "normal," but it ain't so. we could also get into the whole "what is normal" talk here, but i don't think that would help. let's use the word "healthy" instead. it ain't healthy. wild guess here, but i'm going to suppose that it really isn't helping you in really leading your life "anymore" either.
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
ryse: You're in deep squat, baby.
Get to an addiction professional while you still can. Dicking around on here until you find what you want to hear is going to deepen your addiction and endanger your life.
You're a walking medicine cabinet.
Get to an addiction professional while you still can. Dicking around on here until you find what you want to hear is going to deepen your addiction and endanger your life.
You're a walking medicine cabinet.
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
couldnt echo what stagebear said more.... your taking like 3-4 different classes of drugs just to make it through the day..... check out local detox centers near you. If you dont have much $$ or any insurance ther are state funded detox's as well that dont cost a penny.
best of luck to ya ~~~ once you detox might wanna check out meetings, it really helps with the depression
best of luck to ya ~~~ once you detox might wanna check out meetings, it really helps with the depression
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 5
ohhh
whoa...speechless really. i do appreciate the responses even tho i don't know if described my situation good enough cuz to me things seem pretty normal except when i miscalculate how to balance things. i guess what kind of got me to come here is im in therapy and when the therapist asks me what i do and how much i downright lie. mostly, i'm pretty honest - but when it comes to this, its always two drinks and nothing illegal (most of the drugs i get are scripts so they are 'legal').
i am trying to cut back and im finding it difficult. today there was layoffs at work and of course i was stressed so its 'normal' to squelch anxiety with some benzos. I just finished my first drink and was ready to jump for another and im like whoaaaaa, maybe not a good idea. so im writing here buying myself some time to think (tho i know how its gonna end...urrrgghh).
the whole detox thing scares the $*#))*$*)$@ out of me. so hoping i can get my head around this and cut back one day at a time. i know a few years back i was abusing pain meds and coming off them felt like death, so i know i gotta go slow.
sighs. i guess i got nothin really to say but thanks and hope can do this.
i am trying to cut back and im finding it difficult. today there was layoffs at work and of course i was stressed so its 'normal' to squelch anxiety with some benzos. I just finished my first drink and was ready to jump for another and im like whoaaaaa, maybe not a good idea. so im writing here buying myself some time to think (tho i know how its gonna end...urrrgghh).
the whole detox thing scares the $*#))*$*)$@ out of me. so hoping i can get my head around this and cut back one day at a time. i know a few years back i was abusing pain meds and coming off them felt like death, so i know i gotta go slow.
sighs. i guess i got nothin really to say but thanks and hope can do this.
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
actually ryse its not normal to squelch your feelings with drugs. you only think its normal because thats what youve been doing for god knows how long.
Most people live through the anxiety, fear, sadness or any type of feeling without taking a prescription drug.
Do something about it now....itll only be a lot harder years down the road. BEst of luck to ya
Most people live through the anxiety, fear, sadness or any type of feeling without taking a prescription drug.
Do something about it now....itll only be a lot harder years down the road. BEst of luck to ya
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Ryse, you need some help honey. Just because your scripts are legal, doesn't mean your not an addict. Alcohol is legal, that doesn't mean that the fall down drunks, that drink 7 days a week aren't alcoholics. Your in denial, and that is a core feature of addiction. Adderall,Pain pills, Benzo's, alcohol. Do you smoke cigarettes and weed too? My drugs were legally prescribed for me. I took 30 pills a day, and I was as addicted as can be. Look in the dictionary under addiction, and you will see your picture there. Get real honey. It's real easy to die, when your using all of those substances. Your guardian angel must be exhausted.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought that abusing medications by taking them as they were not prescribed is illegal. I don't think your doctor knows that you're popping any number of Adderal, taking Percoset for a headache or any other pain, topping the cake with a bunch of benzos, washing it all down with a bunch of liquor, and then sprinkling the whole concoction with some sleeping pills. Then rinse and repeat. No doctor prescribes that, and I am quite positive that he hasn't been made aware of the fact that this is happening. So if you're getting meds that you're abusing, that's not quite legal, is it? If your doctor were aware of what's actually going on, he would probably have to make some serious changes with your situation so that he wouldn't risk losing his license.
Honey, I'm telling you that what you're doing is a total recipe for disaster. I mean of the worst kinds. I don't want to scare you, but you can't keep doing what you're doing. It's not going to work in your favor. Forget what you used to think the meds were doing for you, and start thinking about where you are with them now and where you're going to end up if you let this private cocktail party continue. In all seriousness, you could die.
I know you're scared hearing the things that have been said, but it's the truth. I hope you use that fear to get help. I don't want you to take that fear and medicate it! There are no medications for living. That's what WE are for...our bodies, our minds, our spirits... There's something Deepak Chopra says that has helped me tremendously. It's that we already have the greatest pharmacy within us. Many of us just have to learn how to use it better. We have the tools to calm us down, to make ourselves happier, to heal...
The story about not telling your therapist what's going on is not good. I know what it's like because, a few years ago, I did it too. I thought that the drugs were helping, like extra credit therapy on my own time, and what I was really doing was self-medicating. I didn't want to tell my therapist because I thought that I would have to stop abusing my former DOC, that the therapy would fall off track (like into talk about drugs) and I had the laurels of my ego to ride on. I had just spend weeks building myself up to him, I wanted him to respect me, and I thought he wouldn't if I told him what I was actually doing before and after our picture-perfect sessions. Little did I realize at the time that many of my problems were caused or at least worsened because of the drugs in my life. You can put anxiety at the top of that list. What I did was really foolish. Think of it this way. You're paying this person to help you, but you're lying to them by omission about an absolutely crucial part of the whole story. They can't really help you if they don't know what's going on. If they're involved in prescribing you meds, it's probable that they're treating the symptoms caused by the addiction rather than helping you through your reality.
I am so glad that you came to ask questions, whether you were conscious of the answers you might get or not. I really want you to get help. I wish nothing but the best for you. I don't want you to be afraid of the withdrawals because they're millions of times better than the alternative. We don't need to be guided by our fears, and anyway fear of removing the drugs is part of the addiction. You have so much to gain, and I hope that you take this opportunity to seek help. You don't need to feel like you're going down this road alone, and having people who know how to help you could only make this easier. Blessings.
Honey, I'm telling you that what you're doing is a total recipe for disaster. I mean of the worst kinds. I don't want to scare you, but you can't keep doing what you're doing. It's not going to work in your favor. Forget what you used to think the meds were doing for you, and start thinking about where you are with them now and where you're going to end up if you let this private cocktail party continue. In all seriousness, you could die.
I know you're scared hearing the things that have been said, but it's the truth. I hope you use that fear to get help. I don't want you to take that fear and medicate it! There are no medications for living. That's what WE are for...our bodies, our minds, our spirits... There's something Deepak Chopra says that has helped me tremendously. It's that we already have the greatest pharmacy within us. Many of us just have to learn how to use it better. We have the tools to calm us down, to make ourselves happier, to heal...
The story about not telling your therapist what's going on is not good. I know what it's like because, a few years ago, I did it too. I thought that the drugs were helping, like extra credit therapy on my own time, and what I was really doing was self-medicating. I didn't want to tell my therapist because I thought that I would have to stop abusing my former DOC, that the therapy would fall off track (like into talk about drugs) and I had the laurels of my ego to ride on. I had just spend weeks building myself up to him, I wanted him to respect me, and I thought he wouldn't if I told him what I was actually doing before and after our picture-perfect sessions. Little did I realize at the time that many of my problems were caused or at least worsened because of the drugs in my life. You can put anxiety at the top of that list. What I did was really foolish. Think of it this way. You're paying this person to help you, but you're lying to them by omission about an absolutely crucial part of the whole story. They can't really help you if they don't know what's going on. If they're involved in prescribing you meds, it's probable that they're treating the symptoms caused by the addiction rather than helping you through your reality.
I am so glad that you came to ask questions, whether you were conscious of the answers you might get or not. I really want you to get help. I wish nothing but the best for you. I don't want you to be afraid of the withdrawals because they're millions of times better than the alternative. We don't need to be guided by our fears, and anyway fear of removing the drugs is part of the addiction. You have so much to gain, and I hope that you take this opportunity to seek help. You don't need to feel like you're going down this road alone, and having people who know how to help you could only make this easier. Blessings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
My first thought was ... sounds like me, back in my active addiction daze.
I did all those things too, my life was much like that. Only instead of offhandedly having a 'few percs laying around', I was doing 50-80 percs worth of oxycontin a day to my friggin noggin as well as *all* the other stuff the OP is talking about.
I did live ... but it was mostly luck, and a strong constitution, and having a lot of knowledge about what was safe to mix, and what wasn't, due to having begun research on drugs when I was in the fourth grade. And I do mean literal research, as in, 'checking books out of the library' research.
And I was (and am) most CERTAINLY a drug addict. Everything described in the original post is classic addict behavior. Keep doing what you're doing, and sooner or later, you're going to get REALLY strung out on at LEAST one of the drugs you're now taking 'recreationally'. And then your going to go down, fast and hard. Just like most of here have done.
The smart thing to do is to find a way to get clean and sober. The therapist would be a good person to talk to about that, as would getting yourself to some AA and/or NA meetings, and asking the people there for some help. And doing so right away would be a good idea, because, honestly, what your doing (like what I did) is *way dangerous*, on so many levels ...
I did all those things too, my life was much like that. Only instead of offhandedly having a 'few percs laying around', I was doing 50-80 percs worth of oxycontin a day to my friggin noggin as well as *all* the other stuff the OP is talking about.
I did live ... but it was mostly luck, and a strong constitution, and having a lot of knowledge about what was safe to mix, and what wasn't, due to having begun research on drugs when I was in the fourth grade. And I do mean literal research, as in, 'checking books out of the library' research.
And I was (and am) most CERTAINLY a drug addict. Everything described in the original post is classic addict behavior. Keep doing what you're doing, and sooner or later, you're going to get REALLY strung out on at LEAST one of the drugs you're now taking 'recreationally'. And then your going to go down, fast and hard. Just like most of here have done.
The smart thing to do is to find a way to get clean and sober. The therapist would be a good person to talk to about that, as would getting yourself to some AA and/or NA meetings, and asking the people there for some help. And doing so right away would be a good idea, because, honestly, what your doing (like what I did) is *way dangerous*, on so many levels ...
Some French tart....
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Courville-sur-Eure. France.
Posts: 239
My son said to me the other day that I had the health of an ox - and I was only taking Paracetamol at the time. The problem is that he saw me "legally" drugging myself to death for years. I took everything I could get my hands on, just to get through the day....then more to get through the night. I ended up in hospital more than once.
I don't wish this for you. You've made a big step forwards in coming on here. You will get loads of support. Everything that you are doing is dangerous. Stop now before it is too late. Please go to your doctor's and tell him everything. He will help you, and probably give you a tapering plan so that the withdrawals won't be too bad.
Take care of yourself Honey, you are worth it. I promise you that I've been there, seen it, done it. Don't let this problem go further into more and more addiction, it's gone way too far already BUT it's not too late. Do something NOW.
Much love,
Tish x.
I don't wish this for you. You've made a big step forwards in coming on here. You will get loads of support. Everything that you are doing is dangerous. Stop now before it is too late. Please go to your doctor's and tell him everything. He will help you, and probably give you a tapering plan so that the withdrawals won't be too bad.
Take care of yourself Honey, you are worth it. I promise you that I've been there, seen it, done it. Don't let this problem go further into more and more addiction, it's gone way too far already BUT it's not too late. Do something NOW.
Much love,
Tish x.
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Originally Posted by ryse
im writing here buying myself some time to think (tho i know how its gonna end...urrrgghh).
Originally Posted by ryse
hoping i can get my head around this and cut back one day at a time.
Originally Posted by ryse
hope (I) can do this.
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