vicodaniel

Hey, I just thought I should drop by once in a while. I am still opiate free and loving life ! I do have my PAWS moments. I could not have done it without the support i got here.I do have a worry. I'm supposed to get surgery on my neck and will be put under and probably need something for pain when I wake up. I feel like I could probably take it for a few days then quit, but last time I was hooked for 4 and 1/2 years so I'm a little worried.

Shellslove

Thanks for checking in! Sounds like you are doing great!! Are you working a Program of Recovery? Do you attend AA/NA meetings or any type of support grp for recovering addicts? Do you keep in communication w/your dr or do any type of d/a counseling? These are all things that will always help, no matter where you are in your recovery, so that you have continuous support and will be 'armed' (so to speak) when you face challenges - such as your upcoming surgery and the possibility of needing pain meds. I am not an AA/NA member myself, but if you ask others here, I believe there is literature which discusses the need for pain meds while in recovery....just because you are an addict doesn't mean you need to be in pain! If you go through surgery, and need the meds (or if you choose another option to control your pain) ....you can work along w/your dr to make sure your recovery is secure. IMHO it is okay to be scared - sobriety is not set in stone and you do have to be vigilant -- but having a secure program of recovery set up prior to confronting these issues can help to insure you get through this w/o unnecessary suffering and w/o relapse. Good Luck- Keep us updated!

Stagebear

I am scheduled for surgery next Monday. I am not going to hold any pain meds. They will be locked in the home when my partner is here and he'll take them out when he goes. We will also maintain a count sheet similar to those used in hospital settings to assure every pill is accounted for.
I am not looking forward to it, but it is what it is. I am not projecting how long or even if I will take them but I need to have a plan in place.

windysan

Give your meds to somebody you trust and make dang sure they know to give them to you as prescribed. good luck

Shellslove

I think Bear's idea + the experience of recovery you have going into surgery = a kick a$$ plan....set it up this way... the higher the odds are in your favor not to fail, the less likely you will! Go in w/a plan! Do you have someone who can be the keeper of your meds for the time being? If not, discuss w/your dr. Maybe have it so you pick your dose up daily at his office or the pharmacy. I know its a pain, but setting up the roadblocks to active addiction will put you in a much safer position, imho

kj3880

Is the neck surgery needed at this time, or can it be next year? My condition is degenerative, but my doc said that I can wait another year or until I can't stand the pain any more, so I'm going to wait until I feel more comfortable with the idea of pain meds.

KJ

northbelle

Hey Guy!!! Good to see you!!! Don't forget where you came from...stay in touch with your homies!! Check in more often!! That is how I deal with the mental mind warp sobriety presents me with,,,!! Could not do it without it!!
love north

serenityqueen

I can understand your concern. I may very well be facing back surgery soon and with my DOC also being opiates, it's is something that has caused me a great deal of concern as well.

If I have to have surgery, I will ask my Son to hold my meds for me, only giving them to me as prescribed. I know he will not give me one even 5 minutes early.

I will also make sure I have my friends in Recovery aware of what is going on with me so I have extra support during this time if I do have to have surgery.

I hope you'll stick around and post more often.

God Bless,
Judy

vicodaniel

I have postponed this surgery for a while already.Part of my recovery is taking better care of myself overall.I exercise and am taking care of some of the things I neglected. North you are right I should check in more often.not only when I have worries ,but to help others. I'll never forget where I came from though !I like stagebear's idea I will give the meds to my wife. Supply was never a problem for me. I could make two phonecalls and probably have 600 hydro's and 300 percs in about 20 minutes.( when I was using That would last like a little more than a month.)The resolve not to use is your last line of defense.

northbelle

Resolve not to use as my last line of defense failed me!! My help came from something outside my own resolve for sure!!! I do not posess a whole lot of resolve....I can really get out there sometimes...Thank god I have friends who hold me down...literally if need be!!
LOL...
So good to see your posts!!
I am big on the whole exercise front myself...when I was detoxing I would walk all oave this town..and still DO!! It has probably been a huge saving grace that I have not had a car!!! However...there is volcanic ash rainin down today..so I am coverin my face when I go out!!!
love north

windysan

Dan,

I went in for an angiogram, got doped up/knocked out, walked away with no doggie bags. I had absolutely no craving whatsoever. Now I wasn't in pain but I have since been in some pretty bad pain and took Ultram as prescribed and ibuprofen. Worked pretty good. Again, no desire for dope.

supermegaluck to you, mang

Stagebear

Daniel:
Color me curious- are you still drinking and smoking weed? When last you were here that was mentioned.
Again, just curious.

lostbutterfly

Hi Daniel - nice to see you again! If you really, truly need pain meds, get your wife to hold them, if she is tough enough to say no if you want more than you need.

I guess you are scared of waking up the craving as such - that is what would worry me the most. So there you go, absolutely no advice! I think you should come talk to us more often too!

vicodaniel

Man time flies when you are not on opiates! it seems like I posted this yesterday. I postponed the surgery again I needed a little more time and work is tough right now, I'm putting in a lot of hours.Yes, Stgbr, I do drink and smoke weed usually on the weekends, I might take a toke during the week, but usually don't drink until Friday night Sat if I go out ,and usually not Sunday at all. I'm okay with it. I still have a lot of back and hip pain exercise and aleve helps, but there are days I admit I would like a pill, also I miss the great mood I used to be in most of the time.I don't want to screw up though I'm almost at 6 months. There are days when my mind sucks, I still feel the impact of my 4 1/2 yrs addicted. either that or I'm just getting old.

Timebuster

With all due respect.

Can I ask why do you need to alter your mind with mind altering substance?

vicodaniel

I don't need too, but I like it. I never had a problem with anything other than the opiates. Some people feel they need to be totally clean, I just needed to quit opiates.My life is very well managed I have a great family I'm successful by most peoples standards. I never took a dime away from my family budget to buy drugs or alcohol. I respect those that struggle with pot or booze, I can manage it for now.

change4penny

Daniel, I too was addicted to opiates plus cocaine for more than 10 years and am also free from them now 6 months. I do currently take suboxone. I feel like I need to mention the sub., as some here believe that doesn't justify the word "clean".
All I can say is good luck with the surgery. For me, having only 6 months, I would be scared sh!tless!
Just be sure your doctor is aware of your addiction, and take as prescribed only when you have true pain.
I suffer from rhumatoid arthritis and have chronic pain issues, but when I'm in a lot of pain, I take 800mg of ibuprophen and it really helps. Maybe you can take this in between the narcotic pain meds to lesson the need for them.

Best of luck,

Penny

emmer

Daniel, you said - I can manage it for now?
Booze/pot?

Manage it? I mean, - you do know what's going to happen, right?

Do you have any idea how many addicts/alkies, come back to NA/AA with the story " I thought I could manage ____________"

the rooms are full of them.

The chances of you somehow circumventing this probability, are very low.

Ask yourself- If I was in Vegas, would I bet on it?

..Joe

Stagebear

My bear-like instinct is to jump all over this but that's pointless. Only you know the reality, but it would take me about five minutes to go over your old posts to come up with reasons why you may want to put it all down. I recall something about your use, frequency, etc.

But, consider this. Pot and booze lower our inhibitions, no question. How long to you think it will be before...one night...your pot/booze numbed brain tells you that there has been enough distance between you and opiates and "just one" would be okay?

There's a guy in my IOP group that tried "marijuana maintenance". Took him five years, but enough pot finally told him he could "manage" it. He was on oxy 80's before the knew what hit him.

And it not just an issue of "you'll go back to opiates..." Booze and pot can do enough damage.

Only you know what your reasons are for wanting to continue to drink and smoke weed.

windysan

I drink on occasion but don't smokey the weed cuz it makes me paranoid and stupider. Not all of us are tea totallers. I know it's the AA way and the NA way but some of us don't subscribe to the all or nothing disease model program. Vicodan...if it ain't causing problems with work and family then I see no harm with the drinkypoos and smoke. Glad you're doing well. Don't do dope.