Can't sleep - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

KITTYCAT12 · 03-09-2009, 12:33 AM

Well I have court tomorrow, well today. For the restraining order against my husband, He punched me in the face two Wednesdays ago. I haven't used b/c of it!!!! But court is scary to me. As I'm sure it is to a lot of people. I have a 1 year old involved. Custody comes next ( like in a month ). I'm also worried about taxes; see we filed taxes jointly and they were direct deposited into his account, and I haven't seen a dime of that!!! I am going to receive any of it, or should I just let it go? I probably should just let it go. I can't sleep and it's 2:00 in the morning. I did pray already; maybe I should try again. But it makes me feel better to be on here with the people who know how I feel. All this crap is going to get brought up in court tomorrow and I don't know if I can handle it.. Like all the stuff fron my pass usage. When I was f$%&*ing up. Please God help me! I'll let everyone know what happens after court. Please keep me and my daughter in your prayers.

Tish28 · 03-09-2009, 04:08 AM

Hello Kittycat 12

I've just read your story, and I'm sure that if you've come this far, you CAN do it. Please do not touch anything and I've said a prayer for you and your daughter.It won't help AT ALL if you take a drug. It will just drag things out longer.
I'm afraid that I don't know anything about taxes, probably someone on this site knows more.
Lack of sleep is awful I know. When I really can't sleep I get up and try to do something that will make my day easier the next day as I will be tired or I try to unwind by doing something relaxing like a good book or a soppy film! I've heard on this site that "ambien" works wonders for them. Perhaps you could get some when the shops open to help you with sleep.
Take lots of Tender Loving Care of yourself. Your daughter has a wonderful mother, you seem to be doing all you can to start a brand new life with all the great things that go with it. That is worth it.

Much, much love,
Ingrid

Shellslove · 03-09-2009, 12:12 PM

Hey Kit - from what you've posted here, sounds like your hubs should be the one losing sleep! Unsure on the time difference, but you're probably reading this after the fact (court, that is) so I truly hope everything works out in favor of you and your children - let us know okay?

Remember this...when you're working off no sleep, everything seems 10x worse, dramatic, anxiety ridden, etc... things are not as catastrophic as they tend to seem when you are sleep deprived!

You CAN handle this, as long as you do not use! good luck!

KITTYCAT12 · 03-09-2009, 02:55 PM

Well court went okay. We have temporary joint custody. He will get her on Tuesday night and Saturday night. and he agreed to pay me 200.00 a month. So I guess it went okay. I'm sad and I miss him or I miss having someone in my life. I was with him for 4 years. I really do love him, or love the person I know he could be. But at least (the best part) is I don't want to use over this!! I want to call him so bad and I got to be strong and not do it. I need some support and lots of prayers.

KITTYCAT12 · 03-10-2009, 08:51 AM

Well it's me and I feel alone. Nobody is commenting on my thread, but thank you for the people who are. When I'm by myself is when I get scared that I'm going to use. Because I am alone but I have to remember that GOD is all around me. Right!? Anyways I will look at some other stories and maybe that will keep me occupied for a while. Thanks to all who have prayed for me.

hydrogirl · 03-10-2009, 09:29 AM

Hey KittyCat.....Congratulations on the "clean time"! That's fantastic news!!! I know that court must be a scary place, but from what you have said about everything so far, it seems to be going OK.

It is hard when we miss someone that we have loved so much because either we or they have messed it up somehow. Just remember that life continues and you have a lovely baby to take care of and begin this new life for!

One step at a time, one moment at a time....Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter!

HG

hydrogirl · 03-11-2009, 06:29 AM

Hey Miss Kittycat.....

How does the day look today? And what's the next step?

Hugs, HG

24hrsAday · 03-11-2009, 06:38 AM

KITTYCAT12: peace be with you.. say a prayer! (it could surprise you..)

KITTYCAT12 · 03-12-2009, 08:30 AM

hey it's me....And the nexxt step is the custody hearing; which I haven't gotten in the mail yet. then the divorce. we have to be separtated a year in MD first. It sucks I just want it over with. he already has a girlfriend living in my old house!!!! can you believe it?! Well to each their own. Right. Anyways it has been hard cause ya know I miss having someone always there and there is nobody right now. But I got to put my trust in GOD, and keep doing the right thing. Which is staying sober. I just can't get over the money situation. He's only ordered to give me $200.00 a month! thats it. But hopefully that will change.

I went to a meeting this morning, and it felt good. All this running around I haven't been able to get to as many meeting as I normally would go too. but on the 22nd I will have four months. Yeah!!!!!!!!

GOD can only provide me with what I need. That's all out of me. thank you for replying. Jillian

***Impurrfect*** · 03-12-2009, 08:44 AM

Wow, 4 months is AWESOME!!!

As far as his "girlfriend"...well, HE is the one who is missing out. YOU have a wonderful, clean/sober life ahead of you and will get to appreciate most of the time with your daughter.

Just keep doing what you're doing.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

KITTYCAT12 · 03-12-2009, 09:55 AM

Thanks, I'm going through alot, but I don't want to use. I just want to keep trucking along.

hydrogirl · 03-12-2009, 10:56 AM

Just keep working on your own thing, Miss Kitty! Congratulations on the 4 months!!! That's fantastic news!!!!!!

You have wonderful days and wonderful times ahead with your daughter.

Hugs, HG

KITTYCAT12 · 03-12-2009, 11:14 AM

thanks girlfriend, I just got in touch with a friend who went through the same thing, and she gave me a # for a womens support group on Weds. I'm going to every ave. I possibly can right now, just trying to stay busy. thats all. My daughter is a blessing. I did coke the day before she was born, and she came out perfect. and still is perfect in my eyes. thanks for all your support.

KITTYCAT12 · 03-13-2009, 01:59 PM

Well went to WAGE connection today for my temp. cash assistance. That went well. Then I went to SARC to do an intake to see if I can get a lawyer for my custody hearing?! and then............I talked to him. He called my friend and told him to call me and tell me to call him. So I did and there wasn't much to talk about. He wanted to know what I did today and I told him I wasn't going to tell him, he still wants control of me and the situation. Thats all for now.

hydrogirl · 03-15-2009, 06:12 AM

Hey Miss Kitty!

I do hate those awkward silent moments speaking to an ex....and since the two of you will have to work out some sort of civilized relationship because of that beautiful girl, it can be a struggle. I know you can do this!!!

Great news about WAGE and SARC working out. One foot in front of the other!!!

Hugs! HG

KITTYCAT12 · 03-15-2009, 03:55 PM

Thanks HG, I am putting one foot in front of the other. I went and played BINGO last night with some friends from AA, and it was really fun. I went to my meeting this morning and I realized I will be getting my 4 month chip next Sunday! I never got 4 months before I always messed up after 3. But I'm doing all the right things now.

Shellslove · 03-15-2009, 04:05 PM

Hi Kitty =) I'm happy to hear you're doing so well...congratulations on 4 months

Awesome milestone!

Ugh...I hate those ex conversations....like you have a million and 1 things to say....you've had the conversation over and over in your head (and of course everytime you speak eloquently and w/compassion, he is begging for your forgiveness and you tell him you have to hang up b/c your hot stud new b/f is on his way over - duh) and then you finally call him and....*chirp chirp chirp* silence and crickets and the weird feeling in the pit of the stomach.

But you've made it through another day...w/o using! Glad you're hanging w/AA friends too and things went well w/WAGE and SARC- all good stuff! keep posting on your progress!

Believe808 · 03-15-2009, 04:15 PM

Kittycat CONGRATULATIONS on your 4 mths. Hooray!!!!!! I find that for myself AA meetings and the people there help me when I am lonely. I pray that all goes well with your sobriety and your daughter. LOVE YA Donna

emmer · 03-15-2009, 04:35 PM

WOW !!! FOUR months !!! Way to go.

03-09-2009, 12:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Can't sleep Well I have court tomorrow, well today. For the restraining order against my husband, He punched me in the face two Wednesdays ago. I haven't used b/c of it!!!! But court is scary to me. As I'm sure it is to a lot of people. I have a 1 year old involved. Custody comes next ( like in a month ). I'm also worried about taxes; see we filed taxes jointly and they were direct deposited into his account, and I haven't seen a dime of that!!! I am going to receive any of it, or should I just let it go? I probably should just let it go. I can't sleep and it's 2:00 in the morning. I did pray already; maybe I should try again. But it makes me feel better to be on here with the people who know how I feel. All this crap is going to get brought up in court tomorrow and I don't know if I can handle it.. Like all the stuff fron my pass usage. When I was f$%&*ing up. Please God help me! I'll let everyone know what happens after court. Please keep me and my daughter in your prayers.

03-12-2009, 08:44 AM	#10 (permalink)
*Impurrfect* Community Greeter Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 9,736	Wow, 4 months is AWESOME!!! As far as his "girlfriend"...well, HE is the one who is missing out. YOU have a wonderful, clean/sober life ahead of you and will get to appreciate most of the time with your daughter. Just keep doing what you're doing. Hugs and prayers! Amy __________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

03-15-2009, 04:05 PM	#17 (permalink)
Shellslove Friend Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: East Coast, Killa Posts: 260	Hi Kitty =) I'm happy to hear you're doing so well...congratulations on 4 months Awesome milestone! Ugh...I hate those ex conversations....like you have a million and 1 things to say....you've had the conversation over and over in your head (and of course everytime you speak eloquently and w/compassion, he is begging for your forgiveness and you tell him you have to hang up b/c your hot stud new b/f is on his way over - duh) and then you finally call him and....chirp chirp chirp silence and crickets and the weird feeling in the pit of the stomach. But you've made it through another day...w/o using! Glad you're hanging w/AA friends too and things went well w/WAGE and SARC- all good stuff! keep posting on your progress! __________________ fyi - that's drunk frog in bear suit - not me. "When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set Yourself on fire." ---Torquil Campbell

03-15-2009, 04:35 PM	#19 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 2,655 Blog Entries: 10	WOW !!! FOUR months !!! Way to go. __________________ Clean date, March 2nd / 2009 ..and I ain't lettin go.

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03-09-2009, 04:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Tish28 Some French tart.... Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Courville-sur-Eure. France. Posts: 240	Hello Kittycat 12 I've just read your story, and I'm sure that if you've come this far, you CAN do it. Please do not touch anything and I've said a prayer for you and your daughter.It won't help AT ALL if you take a drug. It will just drag things out longer. I'm afraid that I don't know anything about taxes, probably someone on this site knows more. Lack of sleep is awful I know. When I really can't sleep I get up and try to do something that will make my day easier the next day as I will be tired or I try to unwind by doing something relaxing like a good book or a soppy film! I've heard on this site that "ambien" works wonders for them. Perhaps you could get some when the shops open to help you with sleep. Take lots of Tender Loving Care of yourself. Your daughter has a wonderful mother, you seem to be doing all you can to start a brand new life with all the great things that go with it. That is worth it. Much, much love, Ingrid

03-09-2009, 12:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shellslove Friend Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: East Coast, Killa Posts: 260	Hey Kit - from what you've posted here, sounds like your hubs should be the one losing sleep! Unsure on the time difference, but you're probably reading this after the fact (court, that is) so I truly hope everything works out in favor of you and your children - let us know okay? Remember this...when you're working off no sleep, everything seems 10x worse, dramatic, anxiety ridden, etc... things are not as catastrophic as they tend to seem when you are sleep deprived! You CAN handle this, as long as you do not use! good luck!

03-09-2009, 02:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Well court went okay. We have temporary joint custody. He will get her on Tuesday night and Saturday night. and he agreed to pay me 200.00 a month. So I guess it went okay. I'm sad and I miss him or I miss having someone in my life. I was with him for 4 years. I really do love him, or love the person I know he could be. But at least (the best part) is I don't want to use over this!! I want to call him so bad and I got to be strong and not do it. I need some support and lots of prayers.

03-10-2009, 08:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Well it's me and I feel alone. Nobody is commenting on my thread, but thank you for the people who are. When I'm by myself is when I get scared that I'm going to use. Because I am alone but I have to remember that GOD is all around me. Right!? Anyways I will look at some other stories and maybe that will keep me occupied for a while. Thanks to all who have prayed for me.

03-10-2009, 09:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
hydrogirl Tra bo dau Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The South (for now) Posts: 1,405	Hey KittyCat.....Congratulations on the "clean time"! That's fantastic news!!! I know that court must be a scary place, but from what you have said about everything so far, it seems to be going OK. It is hard when we miss someone that we have loved so much because either we or they have messed it up somehow. Just remember that life continues and you have a lovely baby to take care of and begin this new life for! One step at a time, one moment at a time....Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter! HG

03-11-2009, 06:29 AM	#7 (permalink)
hydrogirl Tra bo dau Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The South (for now) Posts: 1,405	Hey Miss Kittycat..... How does the day look today? And what's the next step? Hugs, HG

03-11-2009, 06:38 AM	#8 (permalink)
24hrsAday Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: right next to lake michigan.. Posts: 871	KITTYCAT12: peace be with you.. say a prayer! (it could surprise you..)

03-12-2009, 08:30 AM	#9 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	hey it's me....And the nexxt step is the custody hearing; which I haven't gotten in the mail yet. then the divorce. we have to be separtated a year in MD first. It sucks I just want it over with. he already has a girlfriend living in my old house!!!! can you believe it?! Well to each their own. Right. Anyways it has been hard cause ya know I miss having someone always there and there is nobody right now. But I got to put my trust in GOD, and keep doing the right thing. Which is staying sober. I just can't get over the money situation. He's only ordered to give me $200.00 a month! thats it. But hopefully that will change. I went to a meeting this morning, and it felt good. All this running around I haven't been able to get to as many meeting as I normally would go too. but on the 22nd I will have four months. Yeah!!!!!!!! GOD can only provide me with what I need. That's all out of me. thank you for replying. Jillian

03-12-2009, 09:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks, I'm going through alot, but I don't want to use. I just want to keep trucking along.

03-12-2009, 10:56 AM	#12 (permalink)
hydrogirl Tra bo dau Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The South (for now) Posts: 1,405	Just keep working on your own thing, Miss Kitty! Congratulations on the 4 months!!! That's fantastic news!!!!!! You have wonderful days and wonderful times ahead with your daughter. Hugs, HG

03-12-2009, 11:14 AM	#13 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	thanks girlfriend, I just got in touch with a friend who went through the same thing, and she gave me a # for a womens support group on Weds. I'm going to every ave. I possibly can right now, just trying to stay busy. thats all. My daughter is a blessing. I did coke the day before she was born, and she came out perfect. and still is perfect in my eyes. thanks for all your support.

03-13-2009, 01:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Well went to WAGE connection today for my temp. cash assistance. That went well. Then I went to SARC to do an intake to see if I can get a lawyer for my custody hearing?! and then............I talked to him. He called my friend and told him to call me and tell me to call him. So I did and there wasn't much to talk about. He wanted to know what I did today and I told him I wasn't going to tell him, he still wants control of me and the situation. Thats all for now.

03-15-2009, 06:12 AM	#15 (permalink)
hydrogirl Tra bo dau Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The South (for now) Posts: 1,405	Hey Miss Kitty! I do hate those awkward silent moments speaking to an ex....and since the two of you will have to work out some sort of civilized relationship because of that beautiful girl, it can be a struggle. I know you can do this!!! Great news about WAGE and SARC working out. One foot in front of the other!!! Hugs! HG

03-15-2009, 03:55 PM	#16 (permalink)
KITTYCAT12 Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: JOPPA Posts: 48 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks HG, I am putting one foot in front of the other. I went and played BINGO last night with some friends from AA, and it was really fun. I went to my meeting this morning and I realized I will be getting my 4 month chip next Sunday! I never got 4 months before I always messed up after 3. But I'm doing all the right things now.

03-15-2009, 04:15 PM	#18 (permalink)
Believe808 Miracles Happen Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,635	Kittycat CONGRATULATIONS on your 4 mths. Hooray!!!!!! I find that for myself AA meetings and the people there help me when I am lonely. I pray that all goes well with your sobriety and your daughter. LOVE YA Donna

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