new detoxing of xanax cold turkey and pregnant

[ashlasl]

hi i just registered, i am five days of xanax by orders of my obgyn, does this get better, i am not severely addicted, but have been on them for two and a half months, small dose one or two a day, but before that was drinking alcohal everyday for a yr,, and i am also on subutex now,

everything smells bad, looks to bright, sounds to loud, looks so big, i got a terrible headcold that is going into my chest, the xanax helped with the morning sickness so now i am sick alot, only one night of really bad sleeping though, it is good sleep though i wake up alot and dont feel good when i do wake up

the mornings are worst i think cuz that is when i took the pills, i am trying to be positive, i am trying to be hopeful but all i do is worry about everything i didnt care about for all that time i was so drunk or pilled up,

it isnt like heroin dtox for me though, it is weird, like i dont crave a pill like i would crave the needle, i just crave the sanity or relaxed state i would feel when on them

there is a lady up the road who sells valium, and god it is weird i dont really want them, but sometimes my head tells me i do, but i have to push for what is right for the baby,


i dont know i am sure i am not making sense but i just wanted to tell someone what is going on with me ashla

[emmer]

Yep I sure do remember the wierd smells and the bright light and so on.
For me, my last go with benzos was a rough one. I was on a very heavy dose of klonopin
and the withdrawal was something from hell, but never really had cravings for it either.

Good for you, to push for what's right for the baby.

And of course...WELCOME to SR.

[bvaljalo]

Welcome to the Boards, ash.

Wow, this is a bit of a pickle you've gotten yourself into, eh? I just have to ask, with all due respect ... are you sure this is the 'right time' for you to be pregnant? I mean, how far along are you at this point? I know you know what I'm getting at, and I just think ... it's something worth thinking about, in my book. You sure are taking on a whole lot at once, you know?

And don't forget, if you're on subutex, the baby is on subutex, too. Along w/getting off the benzo's, you're gonna wanna be getting off that stuff pretty quick, too, I'd think, for the baby's sake. Are you sure you can do it? Cause if you're not feeling like REALLY sure you can ...

The reason I bring all this up is that I really think that getting clean has to be something that a person does for themselves alone. I just hope you're not hoping that by being preggo's it's gonna give the 'necessary motivation' to get off drugs and get yourself clean, cause that's really not 'fair' to the child, ya know? What if it turns out you're wrong, and you aren't able to? Getting off subutex after a good run on heroin or oxys or the like? It's damn sure nothing like a picnic, girlfriend. It's rough, I tell you that from first hand experience. It's far from an 'automatic' that you'll be able to do it successfully.

Look, bottom-line, if you mess this up, and don't get clean, and your baby is born with an addiction ... girl, you really might end up regretting this course of action for the rest of your life. That's what I'm getting at here. I hope you've really thought about what you're doing here, cause it's not just your life you're messing with now.

In any case, again, welcome, I don't mean to sound like a downer, and please know, we're all here to help, so ... keep posting

[emmer]

????? wtf !! ...........**sigh**

[bvaljalo]

Sorry Emmer ... you know I don't do the 'sugar-coating' thing very well ... I leave that approach up to others around here who are better at it than me

[ashlasl]

well i am fourteen weeks pregnant, i know i could have hurt the baby this is very hard, bt i just found out two weeks ago i was pregnant i didnt even think i could get pregnant again, i am thirty eight with thyroid issues so my menstrual cycle is messed up, all i can do is pray and do the best i can now, i had a two ultrasounds so far in last two weeks baby looks good so far, and i wont have abortion, i will deal with what i have to, the doctor switched me to subutex, it is less harmful than suboxone and i have been doing research on this and there are some good hope that this is less addicting for baby than methadone, i am scared hell yes, i know what i did, but i cant change past, just today do the best i can, thanks for the support ashla

[emmer]

Keep , posting, posting, posting Ashla .....k?

[Sugah]

I would think that being pregnant is a compelling enough reason to get an inpatient detox bed.

Are you seeking any other support besides drug replacement? Meetings, perhaps?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[windysan]

Originally Posted by Sugah

I would think that being pregnant is a compelling enough reason to get an inpatient detox bed.

Are you seeking any other support besides drug replacement? Meetings, perhaps?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Right on, sugah.

[bvaljalo]

Alright, well ... sounds like your minds made up on the subject of having the baby, so I'll just say ... congratulations

And I echo sugah's sentiments ... I think a bed at an inpatient detox may be called for here. You really don't want your baby to have it's developing brain full of buprenorphine for months on end here, I wouldn't think. I mean, it's not like it's gonna cause birth defects or anything, BUT:
A) Once it becomes a little more developed, it's gonna be susceptible to the same potentially harsh w/d's that you'll be going through, and
B) it seems logical to assume that if a baby develops in an environment awash with opioids, there's a decent chance that the child will live life at an increased risk of becoming an opioid addict. Ya know, kinda like you are now, and will forever be, regardless of whether or not you are an active user (just like me, and most of us here in SA as well). And given that a propensity to addiction is known to be at least partly based on one's genes to begin with, this situation of mommy being on opioids whilst pregnant could certainly amount to the proverbial 'double-whammy' for the kid ... you feel me on this?

You're gonna be needing to make some sacrifices, and potentially go through a pretty rough patch here pretty soon, I'd think, in order to really do 'the right thing'.

Bottom-line, I really think a stay at detox, and soon, might well be the way to go ...

I, for one, will be pulling, and praying, for both of you

[lostbutterfly]

I do know babies born with a known opiate addiction are weaned off medically - happens every day. But the people who deliver your baby must know!!

I only speak for mums addicted to heroin, I don't know about subs. But if your obgyn hasn't said there is anything wrong with being on subs then I'm assuming they are OK?

All the best with the baby! There are a few mums in AA, me included, who got in there coz of our kids. And discovered that maybe there was something in it for us too! But there are too many who don't.

[hopefully tryin]

Welcome to Sr, I know what you are going through! I was addicted to opiates when I got pregnant 3 yrs ago. I quit CT and did not inform my dr of my problem. I remained clean for the sake of my baby. I ended up having a c-section and was put on pain meds after the surgery. I swore I would not go back down that road. Well, I did. It took me almost 2 years to get and stay clean for any length of time. I had to do it for myself and not for my baby. I know that I am now staying clean for my babies but I had to GET clean because I wanted and needed to. Please just keep your head up and be honest with your Dr. I am assuming you are because he/she knows about the subs, xanax, etc. From personal experience and from working in the medical field. I can tell you that generally opiates are not as dangerous to the baby as benzos as dr.s often give scripts for them during pregnancy. But the benzos are very dangerous to your baby! And regardless of what the drug is, your baby can and will be born addicted if you are addicted. Let your baby have a fair chance at life and not be born addicted. Best of luck and please keep posting.

[Latte]

Welcome to SR and congratulations on getting clean and on your pregnancy.

I had a harder time getting off benzo's then I ever did getting off of narcs. The narcs took me three days to feel better, with the benzo's it took me weeks and weeks. Blech. I still won't take the ones perscribed by my Pdoc.

As long as you are following your doctors orders I'm sure it will be fine. Focus on that baby. When I held my girls in my arms I was in love from minute one and nursing them gave me the best mellow I have ever had. That oxytocin is great stuff.

[ashlasl]

hi just a quick update from me, i am now on day six from no benzos, i still have some anxiety but i am walking or listening to music and it is helping, very few dtox centers will dtox a woman of methadone or bupe during pregnancy because of the risks of miscarriage, i have worked in the field, i also called a few places and the ones that take women pregnant on opiates just put them on methadone and keep them on that till end of pregnancy, even in jails they will not dtox a pregnant woman of any opiates at least in the state i live in, they will most likely give the baby phenobarbital after the baby is born to help from withdrawal, i am glad of the support i got in here thankyou, i will keep posting, this in a especially hard time for me, but when i found out i was pregnant, i went to doctors and told them right away, i am high risk pregnancy because of the meds i was on, but i will go to all my apointments and i am working now on only smoking one or two cigs a day, and trying to get a good diet going with the proper foods, i have been in and out of recovery a long time, and yes i know it would be best if no meds were taken, but obgyn and family doctor and prescribing doc ,, all say that the best move now is to stay stabalized on subutex, quit the benzos which i did not a big enough habit to worry about miscarriage if i was on higher they would have done a taper, it is all now about dealing with my anxiety naturally and it isnt easy, some parts of the days i feel great, and today was the first time since i stopped benzos that i listened to music and actually enjoyed it, i just heard a new song on the radio today and it actually gave me the chills it is called angels on the moon by thriving ivory it is beautiful almost made me cry music is such a big therapy for me and if you should listen to this song if you love good music and good postive words, anyway thankyou all i will stay here and keep posting, and yes i am going to meeting i have a sponsor and she sat with me for two days while i quit the benzos, thanks all and peace ashla

oh Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

And you know the pain, that brought you here today so what can you do
And you know the tears, for loosing those you love when yesterdays gone
So please remember, not to waste another day not to worry your mind
And please frogive me, for taking so much time to get back on my feet

[lostbutterfly]

You sound like you are doing great ash! Keep posting. You've got less toxins going into your body than a drinker and pot smoker, so I think you are doing OK.

You might be lucky and start feeling lovely and chilled in your second trimester! I seem to skip this phase entirely, lol!!