Slipped up at Slipknot

[lostbutterfly]

I sort of thought I would. Thank goodness we are all home in one piece.

To cut a long story short, a 24 year old now has my phone number - he is very pretty (or he was through my vodka tinted glasses!) But I can't be starting anything now.

Is it a good idea to tell people the truth about being in recovery as a reason not to want to start anything. Or is it no-one's business, or do you just find people don't understand.

Sorry I messed up, got to go to bed now, very tired.

[dirtyjerz08]

Sorry to hear you slipped, just pick things up and keep on trucking. Tomorrow is a new day, make the best of it. For your own health and sanity just don't let the slip turn into a downward spiral. Get to a meeting, get honest, and get it over with. I wish you all the best and I'm always available by PM if you want to chat.

As far as relationships go, yeesh, I wish I could be of more service. Most of my relationships have consisted of me meeting someone that drank/drugged like me, and us destroying each other in the process. Then it would all end in some sort of disaster. As you can see I'm no Dr. Phil. In recovery I seem to do the same thing, I find someone who is recovering, but just as crazy as I am. The same thing usually happens, and either we drive each other crazy or we wind up using together.

That pattern has repeated itself in my past attempts at recovery, so this time I am trying not to make the same mistake. I struggle with whether to tell women about my "baggage" upfront. Most people my age are out there drinking, drugging, and having no idea what they may be in for later in life. To them someone who never drinks or drugs is like an alien or something. Still, if I want to put my recovery first, I've got to be honest. Either they will like you and not care that you wont drink with them, or they find their booze and drugs more appealing than you. If that's the case, they aren't worth your time to begin with.

In the end, I am struggling with finding my way in sober relationships as well but that's how I am looking at things right now. Most of that advice came from my sponsor. I can take some wisdom from others today thankfully. I'd like to hear some other people's opinions on this. Relationships are confusing enough as it is, without the added element of staying clean and sober.

[windysan]

I ain't gonna yell at you. Are you an alcoholic or a dope addict or both? If you be an alcoholic then that was a bad move. Say 5 hail marys and stay sober.

[northbelle]

Going to a Slipknot concert would absolutely have me back out there!!! I would probalby get loaded too....ya got my support!
love north

[emmer]

learn something from me LBF......the more you relapse the harder it is to get back on your feet (so to speak).

Don't ever let it get to the point where you dont care anymore.

Just a warning.

[windysan]

I've decided on additional punishment. You must attend a Barry Manilow concert. It was gonna be Liberace but then I realized he was dead.

[hopeful62]

I don't think you owe anyone an explanation. If you want to tell, and it makes you feel better, there's nothing wrong with that. But, are you thinking more about him and his feelings than you and yours? We addicts make the mistake of focusing on others before ourselves . . . sometimes even when it's a stranger. I found that I told many people about my new-found sobriety early on. Later, I no longer identified as a "sober" person, I was my children's mother, my husband's wife, the company's boss . . . now, finally, I'm ME. If telling someone that you don't want to start something because you're now sober, does that help to reinforce who you are now?

Don't worry about the slip. I slipped once just before I got clean for 15 years. I wanted to get high so badly . . . and when I did, I found that I wasn't in love with it anymore. It reinforced me staying sober for a very long time. I'd be more worried about "I sort of thought I would". I hope that next time you know you're going to slip, you don't.

Hugs

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by windysan

I've decided on additional punishment. You must attend a Barry Manilow concert. It was gonna be Liberace but then I realized he was dead.

C'mon now, that's extreme!

[lostbutterfly]

Originally Posted by windysan

I ain't gonna yell at you. Are you an alcoholic or a dope addict or both? If you be an alcoholic then that was a bad move. Say 5 hail marys and stay sober.

I'm both. Took some methadone, pills and vodka. 3 bad moves! Then 4 hours sleep and I'm at work, bit shaky. Forgot how bad hangovers are.

I don't need any punishment Windy. Slipknot was my punishment, lol! It was my son's Christmas present from me.

[RailDawg]

Originally Posted by lostbutterfly

I'm both. Took some methadone, pills and vodka. 3 bad moves! Then 4 hours sleep and I'm at work, bit shaky. Forgot how bad hangovers are.

Just think about the albatross again Lost.

You'll soar yet!

[JigOvLife]

Awww LB bless !!

I can so understand though.

2 years ago whilst 4 months sober I went to a Stonesour gig (Slipknot's leadsinger's other band). Had the worst F---ing time and stagedived off the wagon 2 days later.

As for dating sober. I did a lot of dating this summer. Told the first couple of girls in as tactful and lighthearted way as possible.
Dealbreaker (They wanted to party)

Then drank for the next 2 dates and had a great time, a couple of fun, short, summer flings...until it became apparent I was 'merry' ALL the time.
Dealbreaker.

You can't win. Just belt up the monks's habit or don your wimple and spend the rest of your days becoming a better person.

I have no clue how normal folk go about these things.

Bah!

[lostbutterfly]

I did think of North's catch and release method of dealing with men! But he was kind of gorgeous, so I wasn't so sure about the release bit.

But in the cold light of day, and reading what you guys say, I know it will lead one place. Who at 24 wants to be sober? He was drinking Jack Daniels very quickly - with any luck, he won't remember. He sent me some texts from the mosh pit, so he will just wonder who the f that was??

[lostbutterfly]

I find each time I slip, I hit the deck a bit harder than before. Normally I wouldn't have drunk vodka and I wouldn't have had the methadone. Is that the progressive part?

Like an albatross who lands worse each time!

[madriley]

Originally Posted by lostbutterfly

I find each time I slip, I hit the deck a bit harder than before. Normally I wouldn't have drunk vodka and I wouldn't have had the methadone. Is that the progressive part?

Like an albatross who lands worse each time!

Thanks for sharing the "experience" with us Lost. I feel like I am 2 different people at different parts of the day. There is the me that is learning how to live life clean and sober and is doing everything I can to not slip up. Then there is the other me who even while I am convincing myself that I can never use even just once in a while because I know where it will lead me, I keep thinking about the upcoming weeks when we are going home for the holidays.
I get this rush of excitement as I think of all the fun we are going to have, well that I am going to have getting high and enjoying myself.
I don't know what to do or how to handle it.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, you have not failed and you have not let anyone down. You realized right away, probably before you even took a drink or a pill, that you were messing up, and now you are trying to do something about it. That's pretty much all you can do right? Try to look at the scenario you were in last night and look for ways around it next time.

As far as dating, I do not know myself because I was never clean while I was single and I am married now. But my brother has been in and out of rehab a handful of times. One of the things his sponsor has told him over and over again is that he should not even attempt a relationship until he has been clean at least a year. He has always been very bad at relationships as it is, so maybe this just applies to his mentality or personality.

Now I don't know who can go without a relationship for this long. I know that he can't because he usually ends up hooking up with someone he meets in rehab, and Lord here we go again!!
I guess it is different for everyone though. Good luck out there. Being single out there now is scary enough as it is and trying to do it while staying sober? Man oh man how much more are you supposed to be able to handle???

[Vintersemestre]

I remember my days of hitting on attractive older ladies at the bar, fun times; not so fun if you discover that the lady in question has a suspicious bulge in her trouser-area and goes "Well hello daddy" when you greet her.

[lostbutterfly]

(hey, who you callin' an older lady?!)

I do know a few blokes who've been caught by the lady boys in Bangkok!!

The stupid thing about the whole evening is that I actually took my NA Basic Text to read if I got bored. Instead I got trashed and thought Slipknot were great!!!

[windysan]

Originally Posted by Vintersemestre

I remember my days of hitting on attractive older ladies at the bar, fun times; not so fun if you discover that the lady in question has a suspicious bulge in her trouser-area and goes "Well hello daddy" when you greet her.

We were partying in the French Quarter for a bachelor party and there was this rather tall gal with big boobies prancing around. My buddy was blind drunk and ogling her spheres. A few minutes later I look over at him and he had his tongue down her throat. I looked a little closer and noticed she had oil field worker hands and a big adam's apple. I let him know and he started spitting and scratching at his tongue. He went outside and threw up. LOL

[lostbutterfly]

I know a bloke who got quite far before finding out that his Thai prostitute was a Lady Boy. He was a bit trashed, and he just thought, at that point, WTF! May as well carry on!

[Vintersemestre]

Originally Posted by windysan

We were partying in the French Quarter for a bachelor party and there was this rather tall gal with big boobies prancing around. My buddy was blind drunk and ogling her spheres. A few minutes later I look over at him and he had his tongue down her throat. I looked a little closer and noticed she had oil field worker hands and a big adam's apple. I let him know and he started spitting and scratching at his tongue. He went outside and threw up. LOL

Pumping out the black stuff by day and pumping out the white stuff by night...

[lostbutterfly]

How the hell did we get onto transvestites??? Windy! This has something to do with you, doesn't it?