Day 6 of marijuana withdrawal/abstinence

[CatWings]

I am still having intense cravings. And not matter what anyone says about how it is not possible, I am having some physical symptoms as well that are rather unpleasant. I am trying to keep busy but could use some support right now for my denial system that is starting to set in - at least I think it is denial.

I suffer from Fibromyalgia, Migraines, a serious TMJ injury, neck injury, and just damaged muscle problems in general from a bad car accident about 8 years ago. I am not able to function like most normal people.

I was also using marijuana for the headaches and I found that it helped some of the Fibro symptoms and and the TMJ pain. I am wondering if some of the extra pain I am feeling is because of the marijuana detox and withdrawal. I hope so, because I swear I am starting to wonder what good is me quitting when I have more pain to deal with?

But the reason I want to quit is that I feel I cannot use it medicinally in a moderate way. I also find at times, that it sometimes causes a heightened sense of pain.

When I have tried to quit before, I always end up taking more pain medication because I am obviously in more pain without it. I do not like taking my pain medication. I do not take it to get high and I am always taking less than the recommended dose because I hate it. But I am in so much pain without it that it is unavoidable.

The only thing I can think to do is wait this out and see how I feel. I can also try getting into yoga and more serious about meditation to see if it helps. I do stretching, but I could step that up too.

Today the real part of my denial is extending to feeling envious of the high-functioning potheads I know. Like my ex-boyfriend who has a lot of money, works his ass off and is a talented sound artist whom everyone loves. He's is quite a bit past 40 and it is obviously not dragging him down. All the other artists I know who are potheads seem to be doing fine on it, so why can't I?

However, I am trying to remind myself that I do know a few who have expressed a desire to either take a break or cut down or quit altogether. One friend of mine did, but then went right back on it.

I have been easing out of talking to ex as well, but I did tell him I was quitting and he said, yeah it is good to take a break and he just had tea at parties for a while and it was fine for him and he didn't miss it at all. Well, good for him except he is right back on it, smokes a LOT, and has taken no real break for any length of time.

So I started thinking, why am I so neurotic that I have to take everything so seriously, including my pot use? Why do I have to make even that complicated for me - whether I quit or not? What's wrong with me?

But I have to remind myself that the reason I want to quit is because I don't think I can handle it like most people due to I suffer from another condition that I think is worsened by this and I can't think straight and due to the chronic exhaustion from the chronic pain, I need the extra energy I will get from not smoking. I am not a high-functioning pothead like some.

[CatWings]

Actually, I think my attitude about the pain thing was produced more by early morning pain than anything and I think some of the muscle stuff is due to detox, but now I am just having a hard time with irritability and still the other stuff I talked about most of all.

[lostbutterfly]

I used to feel pain, especially abdominal, way more when I smoked. I could never work out why people smoked for pain relief, but assumed I was just strange!

I think all addicts are envious of people who can take drugs and handle it, like alcoholics are envious of social drinkers. I certainly am.

I think it is very admirable that you are being so honest with yourself about your ability to handle it. BTW, I've heard of other people getting withdrawal symptoms from giving up puff, so you are not imagining it.

I assume your pain medication is an opioid of some sort. Glad you don't like the way it makes you feel, but keep an eye on it regardless. That is no fun to get addicted to either. There is a forum specially for pain related drug problems on SR as well that you might find helpful.