Girtty1980

Hi. I'm brand new to this site and I have a big problem or I feel that way tonight. Maybe I will change my mind. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post and I don't know if anyone can relate to me but I know that my life is going down the crapper so to speak because of my oxy addiction. Mostly I am concerned about the amount of money is costs me, which isn't a great reason to get help.

Long story short I am pretty hooked on oxy, my boyfriend had a back injury several years ago and he started selling them. I took recreational painkillers but maybe (at the most) 7 a week when we met for stress, to get high basically and it didn't hurt anyone. I've always held a great job, am college educated, etc. You can't tell by looking at me that I'm a junkie. I don't smoke, eat meat and rarely drink. I bike to work and am very healthy.

Anyway, over the past couple years my intake has gone up and up. Now I'm hooked on the relationship, the pills: snort and take them orally. I go into withdrawal when I try to break up with my boyfriend. I'm not even sure I love him or if I've just stayed together for the "benefits." It's costing me a lot of money and I'm not sure I want out and I honestly don't know what to do. How did I get myself into such a mess? I've never had a problem like this before. I guess i just want to know that there is hope to have a better life than this. I am feeling like such a looser.

lostbutterfly

I have no experience of oxy's, but someone will be along soon who has.
This is the oxy-abuse forum! Like your avatar!

Sugah

Any reason to get help when you're addicted is a good reason. And, if you think that what you're going through is merely a physical dependence, there's good news. Depending upon how much you're doing and how long you've been doing it, the worst of those withdrawals will be over in less than a week.

If you have crossed over the line and discover that you are truly an addict, well, you might have some more work to do to stay clean. I can almost guarantee that if you keep going, it won't be just the money that concerns you. Relationships, jobs, your regard for your own health and happiness - those things tend to be nibbled away by addiction. So, if you think the money you're spending isn't a good reason to get help, well...it won't be too long before you discover you have other reasons.

I wish you luck. Keep posting - there's lots of support here.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

bval

What Sugah said, I second that opinion.

Anyways, welcome to the boards, keep posting, we're here to help however we can

And by the way, LB, everyone with opiate experience has de-facto 'oxy experience'. All opiates work the same way, it's just a question of a slightly different 'highs' ...

stefffanyy

The first step is admitting you have a problem and it sounds like you have done that. I myself am an opiate addict and now I am on methadone which was a mistake but I just substituted one opiate for another but anyway. If you want to stop talk to someone about detoxing before it goes any further because it will only get worse. I wish you the best in your journey. :ghug Stef

kj3880

I was in a very similar situation, college-educated, professional-type with a pain mgt problem, exacerbated by a using boyfriend. Expensive habit, isn't it?

I went to NA to get help. I had to end up going to an addictionologist to get off pain pills. I personally didn't have any luck with tapering schedules. I tried like, 100 of them. I didn't have any luck with cold-turkey either. My addictionologist, Dr. prescribed meds that helped enormously. It took a few months of suboxone, but I don't regret it. It helped me get my life together. It gave me a chance to ease off opiates and get my natural endorphins to gradually kick in without the major mind-numbing depression that a lot of long-term opiate addicts face.

I ended up breaking up with the b/f. I wanted to anyway, just didn't know how to do it with that monkey on my back. Suboxone gave me the freedom to do it. It isn't for everyone. It doesn't get you high, just "well." So if you aren't done getting high, don't waste your money. Also, it isn't for anyone who isn't physically addicted, or as they say physically dependant, on opiates. It isn't for casual or even frequent users. It isn't at all needed for that. In fact, if you aren't hooked on opiates, you could make your problem much worse by going on Suboxone, because it will make you dependant. It's what worked for me, and it took quite some time to get off of it. IMO, suboxone is the court of second-to-last resort. Methadone, from what I hear, is even harder to kick, and it also gets you high. So that's last-resort, for me. I would only try that if suboxone didn't work for my pain and all. But it did.

You need to go to NA and get a network of recovery friends, IMO. That's key to dealing with the feelings you've been shoving away with the drugs.
KJ

stefffanyy

If you start at a low dose of methadone and increase slowly IT DOES NOT GET YOU HIGH. However like I said before You just become dependant on methadone instead of the pilss or dope. I wish you the best!!!!!!!!!!

Vintersemestre

How long have you been using and how much? If you can tell me this I may be able to suggest a plan, though I'd still consult a doctor.

Luckily my oxy abuse didn't get as out of hand as my codeine abuse, though it all basically gets converted into morphine in the body anyway. I'm on a month and a half and it's slow going, but it's getting there.

CRhymes

What goes up, must come down.

Unfortunately when you chronically abuse opioids, your brain responds by "down regulating" your opioid receptors - basically dismantling them and pulling them back into the neurons.

To get back to normal, it's going to involve pain and discomfort since you will have to tolerate the resulting shortage of "activated" receptors once the oxy is out of your system. But after several months your body will compensate and up-regulate the receptors again.

That having been said - you can either experience this discomfort all at once (cold turkey) or gradually via a methadone or suboxone program.

Best of luck! Millions of people have successfully kicked serious opioid habits...I'm sure you can be the next

princezz07

Welcome, This place is awesome for support, lots of members with some good recovery,
if you stop now you may not lose anything like many had to, i know this relapse i didnt lose much materially, i lost something far greater, i lost myself.
Thats where using WILL take you in the end, trust me on that. My life too 'looks' fairly good, from the outside, but on the inside, let me tell you all is not well.
I hope you get the help you seek now, cos this is an endless cycle, we wait for something to change, but nothing does, not until we change.

All the best on your journey.

happy27

I started suboxone 5 days ago, and every day i think of pills less and less. I have already saved about $500 in five days not doing oxy's, plus I am not in danger of losing my job or my kids now.

lavenderrain

Welcome! I know what you mean about not realizing you had a problem until it was too late and you were already hooked. It always happens like that. You aren't a loser, most people have addictions and obsessive/compulsive patterns to some degree. Tons of people here have kicked opiates, I'm just now starting to myself. We can do it together, a bunch of us are about to detox here. Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling. You really can do it if you are sick of it enough, and it sounds like you are.