New Here (need help bad)

[junkheadtildead]

Ive been using herion for about 2 years now and it has come to the point where it is an everyday thing. I just recently lost my job. I was living with my girlfriend and her parents and they found out right after I left there house to move back in with my parents that we were using. I have a fine to pay. My friend wrote me a bad check now I owe my bank 85 dollars and 173 for the fine. I have like 3,000 dollars in credit card bills. A 900 dollar medical bill and now Im back at home and my girl friend is living with a friend. Ive pretty much hit rock bottom. I want to go to rehab but can't because Im a student and they wont let me withdrawl from my classes without having to pay the tuition. My dealer shorted me three bags and i got into a fight with him and now have no supply.
Prolly a good thing but im going to be a mental wreck. I have suboxone but they dont help with the mental pain. It is destroying everything in my life and ive told my parents and they dont understand why i cant just stop. I feel so alone right now. I wish I could jus be normal again and get the drug off my mind. I guess im gonna start going to meetings. I have been to one and I personally dont see how they help. I jus wish I could go to rehab so me and my girlfriend can get a place together and enjoy the things other people enjoy. I dont enjoy anything anymore and i dont see it getting any better.
I started off taking pills for my severe IBS problems because i didnt have insurance and they helped me function. Then I started snorting H because pill hook ups run out alot and I was getting the H so cheap 60 a bundle. It has eventaully lead to me shooting the stuff to and now I jus dont no what to do.
I need help. Anybody have any advise for me

[LouLou629]

Hello, welcome. Well I definetly understand addiction..I am an alchoholic...I know as far as meetings go..I made several attempts and felt nothing..but I kept going until I found one that I loved..for me it was an all womens meeting..If you call the NA hotline and explain your reaction to the meetings you attended they will help guide you to a better solution...Well, it sounds like you have quite a heavy load on your plate..its very overwhelming I know, but start with the first things you can handle and control...your health and well being is the most important thing ..obviously your miserable and are aware of your problem with addiction..as far as your debt goes, take a breath..you are not alone and there are several debt consolidaters out there that are willing to help...you would be suprised at how many of them will really work with you if your honest about the tough time your going through..secondly, your fears about schooling and adding more "debt" to the pile is understandable but I dont see how you could possibly be doing a good job in school while dealing with your addiction anyways..to me friend, I think you may need to suck up the fact that quitting school so you can attend rehab and get yourself better is quite possibly your best option..even though its not without financial reporcussion...you need to take whatever actions possible so you can get better and your life and health back in good condition and in your control...only then my friend will the rest fall into place...you cant fix it all at the same time. I know how hard it is to feel like your life is about as low and depressing and useless as it could possibly be..but the fact that your on here, voicing is so awesome! Keep posting, you can get lots and lots of support and answers to your problems and questions....money and financial stress most certainly seems like the root of many addiction evils, but it is just a nasty viscious cycle that will most definelty get worse if you keep using..if you get help and stop and get better your financial problems will most definetly get better not worse and there is a light at the end of your dark tunnel...take one baby step at a time, call NA, go to another meeting, and another, and another, it will work !Good luck

[kj3880]

Well, you say that you've "pretty much hit rock bottom." You sound like you've decided to stop more out of circumstance then decision that you can't survive this way. You have to come to the place where you are ready to do "whatever it takes." Including NA. Including following the people in NA's suggestions. When you get to that point, you'll be able to get clean. Desperation is key here. I was desperate to stop. You have to really want it, because it is tough to quit dope. Suboxone only works for you if you are done getting high.
KJ

[windysan]

Find a narcotics anonymous meeting in your area. Go there and ask for help. It is usually the place to get you into the door of a rehab. Good luck !

[Sugah]

Get started now, and you might live to pay off those student loans. Less than two months ago, I lost a beautiful, brilliant friend and fellow student to a heroin addiction. She and I had a date to go to a meeting one night, and she put it off. Twenty-four hours later, she was dead.

There's no time like NOW.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[BigB4Sobriety78]

Hello im Brian, I am addicted to opiate pills pot and booze. Have you ever thought about finding an outpatient rehab, I just got out of it and it really helped me alot.

[mike13]

sup im mike. i also had a pretty bad heroin addiction that lasted on and off for about four years, so i feel ya. i really related to a lot of what you were sayin (debts, losing your job, moving back in with the parents). its hard sh*t, fo real. im still struggling and trying to work thru alot of sh*t, but its a lot easier when im sober. i dont know what else to say except to keep you head up, look into some NA meetings (they have been the one thing thats helped me last this long without breakin down), and talk to other recovering addicts. and if you wanna talk, send me a private message. dont give up.

[hairgirl]

What you wrote is a prime example of how the cycle of addiction escalates rapidly.You have got to realize something though-You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get your life in order, to be free of active addiction.There is no quick remedy- it takes hard work and dedication to put the misery to rest.I have been out of active addiction over a year, and have a great life- but it comes with living a life in recovery-going to meetings, taking medication regularly,staying away from old using associates, and allot of education on addiction.
You must be willing to do WHATEVER it takes.Are you truly ready to not have all the answers revealed right away? and just trust the process? How did you get Suboxone?? It is not something that should be used as a band aid or a vacation in between your using.
Get professional help- and realize your best thinking got you where you are.You can have the life you desire, but you have to do what recovery asks of you without needing immediate answers.

[bval]

Dude, if I were you, I'd get to a doctor who can provide you with buprenorphine, aka, subs.

It DOES help with the 'mental part', very very well, in fact. It DOES take a couple days of being on JUST bupe before you start to feel normal, though.

Based on your description of your situation, that scenario is one that just AIN'T happening, is it?

Don't judge the efficacy of this medicine based on your own 'dabblings' with meds you get off the street (that IS accurate, is it not?) ... hell, you probably don't even know how to take it, how much, how often, nothing, really, RIGHT? This is not a regular opioid drug, and you should NOT try to just 'treat yourself' with it.

My best advice is that you get into see a doctor than knows what he's doing with this medicine (do some research, calling around, etc), and follow his/her instructions to a 'T', and I promise you that your life is going to get MUCH MUCH better, very quickly.

Once you've been on JUST subs for a couple days, you're not going to believe you waited this long to begin to put an end to the nightmare you've been living...

[junkheadtildead]

I always research anything before i take it. I know where the **** comes from and how it works. A phsychologist prescribed me the medication. For me it wasnt enough. I still had no appetite and was alot of times depressed and didnt feel like doing anything. It did help me to not withdrawl. It kept me clean for about a month. Infact the way the pharmacy tells you how to take it is bullshit. They want you to hold hit there shortly so that you have to take it three times a day more cash for them. One half of an 8 miligram sub would keep me good for over 12 hours, but trust me I know all about the stuff.

[junkheadtildead]

Thankyou for all the advise though guys. I know that I have a problem and I have finally admitted to it to everyone of my friends and family. I know I need to go to a Facility and learn how to live life on lifes terms. I just want to be happy and have fun doing the things normal people do like going to the movies or out to eat. I wish I could be easily amused. I hope it works and I am going to keep going to meetings. I jus wish I could invent my own meeting where people could also comment on other peoples statements without the monotone "thanks for sharings" I jus dont think that is necessary. It just felt to me like the boyscouts for junkies. With all the chants and stuff. but I am going to stick with it and try to find a group i really enjoy.

[MrsMagoo]

"Shop" for a meeting. When my AH got out of detox, he averaged about 2 meetings per day until he found a "home" group that he liked. He would go to different meetings for different reasons, i.e., speaker meetings, 12-step meetings, big book meetings. I went to several with him and I personally enjoyed the speaker meetings. They can get pretty raw but addiction is about as raw as it gets and it's nice to hear somebody's else's testimony so if nothing else, you know you are not alone and you hear what worked for them.

SR is alot like that too if you move around to the different threads.

Welcome to SR!

[LouLou629]

GOOD LUCK! You should be really proud of yourself, its a huge step to admit it and talk about it with others....! Keep it up were rooting for you