Hey im new to this. Trying to quit Vicodin

[rkTryinToQuit]

Hi. I have started taking my dads vicodin about 2 years ago but it wasnt as bad as it is now. He is prescribed 7.5/750 vicodin and i usedto take around 3 to get high once in a while.. but now i think i am addicted because i take around 6-7 a day. and i mean i never thought i would have a problem with this but it just scares me that the last 2-3 weeks i took them everyday even thought i told my self not to... I never experienced withdrawal symptoms yet because i keep taking them all day and when i dont i feel like ****... The problem is that i had a very easy access to a bunch of them.. and it makes me feel guilty because they are my dads and he doesnt know.. So i went to this website hoping to get some kind of support because i am very serious about quiting, and trying to do it cold turkey starting tomorow morning. i am also quitting smoking cigarets starting tomorrow.. I just know that this lifestyle is not going to lead to anything good.. im only 19 years old.. So any information on what am i going to feel like and what to expect, any tips would be very appreciated. Sorry if this is a wrong forum, i literally just found this site 5 minutes ago

thank u

[rkTryinToQuit]

i also stopped smoking pot 3 days ago. I smoked it for about 2-3 years every day.. so that doesn't help it any

[whiskerkissed]

I'm just giving you a quick welcome because I know how frustrating it can be not getting an answer right away when you're searching and reaching out.

You've started in a great place...so welcome to SR...:-D It was my first stop, too. Now I've been given suggestions for all kinds of great tools to help me come back to a better place. Wish I was your age the first time I sought help. You recognize a problem and want something better.

I've found awesome help here, but equally and in addition to this is the invaluable help through NA meetings. Through them I've met recovering addicts who have been where I was on some level. Now they're there to help the newcomers reach that place if the person coming in wants it bad enough. They help me to help myself.

As for the w/d...it's a bit different for everyone. Expect to feel like sh*t for a couple of weeks easy...but the hardest is in the first several days. It's been 3 weeks for me off painkillers with a one -night slide back and I still feel pretty crummy at times. One of the biggest things is the emotional rollercoaster now. The wiring is trying to fix itself in the wet noodle department. :-D Everything's pretty raw.

You'll get past it...and it's much easier when you have the right support behind you...and Narcotics Anonymous is a real good place to take your next step.

[ccgirl2]

Everything Whisker said is right. If you're worried about w/d's remember, they suck, but won't kill you. As far as feeling guilty about your dad, and this is in no way an excuse, but as addicts, we behave in ways we normally would never behaved. I've stolen drugs before. It's a rotten feeling. It feels much better waking up and knowing I've got no worries; not w/ds, no guilt, no shame. Best of luck to you!

[serenityqueen]

Glad you found us and jumped right in. You posted in the right forum, you can also go to the newcomers as well. No biggie. Just keep posting and sharing!

I'm a recovering addict/alcoholic who's drug of choice was Vicodin. I first put myself into treatment when I was 18 but I was too stubborn and bullheaded to listen to the suggestions that were given to me. I look back at that and just shake my head in amazement. . . I put myself, voluntarily into a 28 day inpatient program but when I got out, I didn't go to meetings, I hung around the old people who I used with in the same old places and did all the same things. Of course I picked up very quickly.

Regarding what to expect. I honestly don't think your withdrawls will be too severe. I was using, in all honesty, about 80 Vicodin ES a day. (ES is extra strength, those are the one's you are taking. I had developed an extreme tolerance to them as you can see. Obviously God meant for me to be here, I don't see how I didn't die.) You can naturally expect to be anxious and irritable. More than likely you'll have muscle cramping and a headache. Another thing is sneezing, this one I don't understand but it's a pretty common thing. You will probaby experience some shaking, especially your hands and you may have some diarrhea. For most people, about the first 3 to 5 days are the worst, but you can expect to not feel "normal" again for at least a week or so. Now remember, everyone is different. I have found as with most things in life, if you expect to be feeling like crap, you probably will. There's a very popular saying in the Programs of Recovery that you should keep telling yourself, This Too Shall Pass, the withdrawals don't last forever. Please keep that in mind, with each passing hour, just keep reminding yourself that you are one hour closer to feeling better.

I highly suggest that you find NA Meetings in your area and go right away. It's very important to develop as many support systems as possible. Us folks here at SR are a wonderful support system, but in my opinion, the 12 Steps of NA or AA are vital to stay clean and sober. We need to get to the bottom of why we chose to numb ourselves with the drugs and or alcohol. As you know, there's the guilt of taking your Dad's pills as well as most people experience a great deal of shame for where their addiction has lead them. . . the lying, cheating, stealing, ect. It's so important to deal with these and other issues so they don't lead you back to using in order to try to cope with them.

As far as the easy access, you may want to seriously consider telling your Dad that you have a problem. You don't need to go into the fact that you have been stealing them from him. Possibly he could get one of those little locking boxes that cost about $12 at WalMart. You could tell him that you were "introduced to them" and have decided that before things get out of hand to stop taking them altogether and the temptation of knowing they're in the house is, well, tempting. Sure, he more than likely will be upset at first, after all, you're his daughter. But I'm sure he wants what's best for you and will begin to support you in any way he can.

Please continue to share with us and post as much as you feel comfortable with. For me, it took me another 25 years of using and going through a living hell, which only gets worse, that I can assure you. You literally have your whole life ahead of you and believe me, if I can stop using and abusing the drugs and alcohol, you can too! Feel free to send me a PM whenever, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I know for some reason, you have to have something like 5 posts before you can send a PM. Right after I post this, I'll send you a PM with my email address if you'd like to contact me that way.

Hey, if anyone is annoyed about how long this reply is, too bad. We're dealing with trying to help and support a fellow addict who shares the very disease most of us have. After all, isn't that what SR is all about?

God Bless,
Judy

[rkTryinToQuit]

Thank you for all the replys, i really didnt expect any quick answers. Serenityqueen.. wow thats a long post considering you dont even know me.. whiskerkissed and ccgirl2 thanks alot too. Serenity im accualy a guy but it doesn't really matter in this case. Thanks for the suggestions but I decided not to tell my dad about anything.. just simply because my parents can't handle the truth... they freak out about the smallest **** ever.. I woke up today and i felt normal (havent taken my morning dose yet) its 3:52 pm and I realized that my main problem is going to be the Mental part of the dependance. GOD!!! its soo freaking hard.. my mind keeps thinking about how easy it would be to walk over to my dads room and grab a few vykes and it would make me feeel so euphoric ! vicodin is by far the most amazingly feeling drug that i ever tried... and also the worst.. I never thought that my mind would be so dependant on a pill.. So far today i haven't taken any of them nor have i smoked any cigs. OMG it just feels like that i will fail in about 3-4 hours and take one or two... Serenity that seems almost impossible to me that you took 80 of ES's... like that is alot... i alwayse thought that my tolerance was so high and much higher than any of my friends... My mind (or me i guess, but i would rather not relate) keeps finding ways to talk me into taking some for ex. "Hey look that dude took 80 pills a day and nothing happened, while i only take 7 or 8 ... so why not take a few.. " . I will try my best to not take any today and prolly reply later in the day...

PS. God i wish i could just go through the physical withdrawal instead of my mind constantly telling me to go take some..

[rkTryinToQuit]

Sorry i forgat that you were a girl and accidently wrote dude in my post

[rkTryinToQuit]

ARGG i just took 4 vicodins ... dammit! i think that maybe i am not ready to do this becauase i really cant ******* control what i do... I wont allow my self to talk to my parents or doctors, nor can i go to the meetings because i live in a tiny town and i dont even think theres such a thing (and truly even if there was i would probably woudnt go)... I thought it would be easy but it is really not.. The best thing i can say right now is that tomorrow is the day but what makes it different from today right ? I dunno what to do anymore..

[whiskerkissed]

Don't beat yourself up. It's not that your not ready. It's a disease...it IS addiction. That's what addiction is. The inability to control your actions even knowing the consequences. You're ready or you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be angry with yourself. But guess what...it's not yourself you need to be angry with. Channel that to where the disease lives...in your mind. It's very real. Us addicts can't control this anymore than the sun rises without some sort of support.

I fought the idea of going to meetings and getting outside help, too. Our town is fairly small...and once going to NA meetings I found one person I knew before...the AA meetings (for supplementing the lack of NA meetings available) I have met MORE people I know. Guess what...they're very good at keeping secrets. This is an anonymous fellowship and I'm very glad for that. Those same people have been seriously instrumental to me when I need an extra shoulder to lean on. My support network just keeps getting better.

Unless you get some support...you're fighting a losing battle. The vicoden will always be there...your head will always know this...and the disease of addiction will steer you to them.

I STILL have the compulsion to use and had to ask my husband to lock up his Darvocet and we would get a lock box for it. They weren't removed from the drawer yet and I knew they were still there. Just a few days ago I went into that drawer - not because I wanted them - but because the disease TOLD ME I wanted them...and wanted them in a bad way. The urge was strong...I was caving in. When I opened the drawer he had already removed them. I sent him a text message at work thanking him for removing the temptation. My head still knows they're in the house...but not within easy access.

Addiction is not as simple as wanting to stop...plain and simple. It's so much harder than that...and I think you're beginning to figure that out. Tell someone. It's helped me immensely...and I do have strong character...but not strong enough to stop this madness on my own.

[Harleyman]

RK hang in there, I'm about to go through the same thing. I've been taking lortab since I had back surgery in 2005. Now I feel like I have to have them. Have not been to an N/A meeting yet, but I'm active in AA and haven't had a drink since May. Queen thanks for that post it help me as well.

Harley

[rkTryinToQuit]

omg thanks i will consider.. i am just so surpised that you all call it a disease... i just thought its a bad habit. I guess there isnt an easy way out of it... Well heres my declaration i will give it 2 days to try to quit and if i cant thn i will seek help.. even tho i really really really dont want to go to any meetings. i just feel like i am stronger than this, but you never know i guess..

[whiskerkissed]

I think the more you understand and learn about what is happening here...the more you will understand what you're up against. I'm only just getting comfortable admitting out loud in my own voice that I am now an ADDICT and it's a disease...not a bad habit...and striving to become a recovering addict. That's been tough. It still blows my husbands mind to hear me say it about myself. You know what? He has just today...really had his mind blown and was given the gift of an understanding he is also an addict...and it didn't come from me. It came from his cousin 2300 miles away who used to run with us in the "way back". First time he's ever said it out loud. It's quite a declaration indeed. One that's f*cked him up for sure.

We all think we're stronger than our disease at first. We soon realize we're not.

I'll be back later. I'm off to my NA meeting...:-)

[rkTryinToQuit]

Thank you Whisker.
I think if i could just some how have my dad hide the pills somewhere it would be soo much easier because they are not easily gotten where i am at.. But i dont know how because me and my family isnt on the best terms right now because i like to go out often. and thats not the problem i just dont want anybody to know that i take them so i dont know how to accomplish that

[HopeTo180]

(from a previous post)

I feel compelled to share how I virtually eliminated cravings.
This was discovered by accident. It turns out that my plan to quit had been so accurately thought out that any chance of cravings was prevented.

During the addictive process, it is understandable to be self abusive.
This is a habit practiced each day, for so long.
During the recovery process, the abuse must stop.
This should now be a time of pampering.

THE PLAN
My drinking time lasted 4 – 5 hours, every day.
Not drinking during this time left a void.
This void must be filled. You must understand, you do not crave alcohol.
If the void is not filled, you will simply crave what filled it.
I decided to fill the void with all the things I avoided during the drink:
Eating, outside, exercise, night-time activities, people, dating, DVD movies.

EATING; I never ate before I drank. Now I eat at the time I used to start drinking. Now I spend each day focusing on what meal I feel I desire. Like a new exciting obsession, I drive around the city looking for my next dining experience. Money is no concern because there are some amazing deals out there! This has become a major daily activity of mine that occupies my thoughts. Hey, you gotta eat!

OUTSIDE; I am so amazed at the outdoors. I can’t believe I have avoided it. I go to parks and spend hours. I’m attracted to water and spend so much time in its presence. I realize I’m spending time with myself, in a place that makes me happy. Nature is a cure for many anomalies.

EXERCISE; I always felt like a hypocrite while exercising, knowing I would do the opposite by drinking later. This was not good for my self esteem. Now I realize that any activity I do makes me stronger and will benefit me days and weeks down the road. I will buy a boomerang, a soccer ball, anything that is fun and gets my body to move. Now it is an advantage instead of risking a heart attack. I feel compelled to move. “the body was made to move” This is one of the “best kept secrets!”

NIGHT TIME ACTIVITIES; I love going out at night. Hey, I’m sober now, I can do that! Talk about a benefit! I have forgotten what a night drive was like. I now just take a drive at night with the windows down and my hair blowing in my face. The lights, the cool air, I’m in love with life again. I want to live forever. The movie theater, museums, public gatherings, an ice cream shop, night shopping. Eliminating these simple pleasures in life is the exact definition of self abuse. I have so much catching up to do and will love every minute of it!

DATING; I have lost count of how many dates I passed on because it would cut into my drinking. I feel so stupid now for doing that. I refuse no opportunity now to meet new people.
I never wanted to be alone but my drinking activities forced a very lonely world. Going out to dinner with a date is an awakening. All the new emotions are wonderful. This gives new meaning to “living”!

PEOPLE; I used to avoid people. Now I gravitate toward them, cherishing each second.

DVD MOVIES; I have compiled 100s of movies over the years. I decided to watch one movie each night. This has turned out to be a much needed cozy time for me, a chance to pamper myself beyond belief. I make it cool enough (with the AC and fans) to use a soft “security” blanket. I cuddle with myself in front of my LCD High Def TV and start a movie. I indulge in ice cream and snacks. I’m active now and losing weight so the snacks are not a negative activity. I figure I used to consume 3,000 calories each night while drinking. I know the elimination of beer is an automatic diet so I can now have what I love most.

I now cannot wait for each day. Although I forced myself into this new routine, I’m now having the time of my life. As it should be, each day is an adventure and I can’t wait to see what’s next!

I hope this helps.

Prayers

[hairgirl]

If you feel you have the strength to stop both at once, good for you.However, I think stopping the Vikes should be your priority.You are about to embark on one of the most trying and difficult things you have done, and know that it goes way beyond just not taking pills.
If you want success, and really are through with this, I suggest you get some help from people who have experience with it.Since this has been a secret, I am sure you would rather try to do it on your own, hope you can, but if you find it isn't working for you- you should get professional help or start going to AA/NA for support.
You have displayed addictive behavior, and your brain has gone through changes, which take time to repair.Don't expect this to get better on your schedule- you have to put as much time and effort into this as you have your using.

[bvaljalo]

Welcome to the boards, my friend, you've found a great place to get help.

I was like SQ, my habit was in the neighborhood of 50-80 percocets worth of oxycodone a day. But guess what? I started out, as we all started out our habits, just like you. I even got clean a couple times back when my habit was at about the same level as yours. I remember well how easy it can be to find yourself justifying continuing to take pills just because your habit seems much less 'serious' than that of people taking pills by the handful, like 'hey, THOSE guys are addicts, I just have a habit, so it's okay, I'll never get to that point!'. But that, my friend, is the disease driving your thinking. If you're smart, and truly still in control, you'd say to yourself ... 'but those people started out thinking EXACTLY the same way I do now (cause I assure you, we DID, all of us), yet look what happened to them! Am *I* really that special, that I can be sure this won't happen to me?' And the answer is probably NO, you ain't that special.

SO what I'm trying to get at is this ... This habit will keep getting worse and worse if you don't stop the stuff and STAY stopped. Opiates are seriously the most addictive stuff known to man, and you, my friend, are really playing with fire by taking them recreationally. Trust me, you DO NOT want to be in the places these drugs will eventually take you, places MANY of us here have had to go to, precisely because we ignored or downplayed the fact that we had a problem early on, back when we could've pretty easily done something about it before the disease took over our lives. Are you aware that A LOT of people who start out pain pill addicts eventually end up in and out of jail, living on the streets, stealing to get money to shoot heroin (cause heroin's a lot cheaper than vicodin on the street)?

I'm not trying to freak you out, but seriously dude ... once you taken enough of these pills in your life to start getting withdrawals/feeling really crappy when you don't have them ... you are well on your way to serious, serious trouble. The desire to avoid withdrawals will absolutely take over your life, and you'll start doing stuff that would have been unimaginable to you before.

The time to stop ... is now. And if I were you, I'd tell your folks about this problem. You're going to need all the help you can get my friend. This is serious business, this problem, and it takes a great deal of effort, planning, and willpower to see your way through it. Don't take it lightly now, or you're likely to end up very sorry you didn't.

One more thing ... word from the wise ... don't try to quit smoking right now when you're trying to quit narcotics. You can deal with that problem later. You're gonna need your smokes while you're in withdrawals. Trying to quit both at the same time without being locked up somewhere is just short of completely impossible.

I would also second the motion to start hitting some meetings, be they AA/NA (either one is fine), SMART, Lifering, or whatever. Again, you'll need all the help you can get, and those places are a LOT of help, trust me.

Again, welcome to the boards, keep posting, and we'll all do what we can to help you through to the other side of this dilemna

[windysan]

Right now smoking cigarettes is actually good for you. LOL. I went through a few packs when kicking.