Recovery is so much more than I realized!

[hairgirl]

From recent experiences, I have learned a great deal about my recovery.I have managed to stay clear of all street drugs/opiates for almost one full year.I am so proud of that, however, I have learned that through behavior and not getting in depth with recovery, I was just "winging it", and setting myself up for failure/relapse.
I did not give 100% to my recovery, and I made some poor decisions by putting my recovery in my own hands, which is a huge mistake.I stopped listening at meetings, and did not go very often at times.I made my life so erratic and busy- I made it impossible to focus on the mental aspects of what got me into the Suboxone program.
This realization is so important to me, as well as anyone working on recovery.You have to give recovery 100% of your time, effort, attention.It is not just about "picking up".It is about the thought process we go through during cravings, how we communicate with others in our lives, and so much more.Just because I did use drugs does not mean I am working on my recovery.I was told by my psychiatrist that I would be going through my rehab program again because of these reasons, and because in order to combat my knee pain, I took it upon myself to raise my Suboxone intake, which is wrong and the matter should have been discussed before I took matters into my own hands.I could not have been happier with her decision.I completely understand what she meant about thinking for myself.As the saying goes, Our own best thinking got us here."
I am an addict, and I am so fortunate to have a program of recovery that will go to such lengths to see my success.

[Brewster]

I find your post has the ring of success in it. You bring up many important points about recovery. Especially necessary for recovery is commitment, transparency and trust. It may take us a few missteps to get it right.

After one gets through rehab, and makes it for a period of time, it is so easy to want to put it behind us, to say we are "cured".

My period of drug use has been a long period of time, and my sobriety at about 2.5 years is such a small percentage compared to my time of drug use. My habit of reaching for a substance whenever I felt bad or wanted to "enchance" my life, means I have to be vigilent still.

A good thought provoking post, for me at least. Thanks for sharing your trials here.