I want to do an intervention on my spouse

[jerect]

I posted a similar thread on the friends and family board but i wanted to get input from an addicts/RA point of view.

My husband is addicted to opiates and he smokes pot like there is no tomorrow. Things have spiraled out of control to the point that my only choice left is an intervention with his family. I have already contacted an awesome rehab facility that will take him.

My question to you guys is..

1. Has anyone ever done an intervention on you and if so how did things go? Were you angry at your loved ones for interfering?
2. If you have had experiance in rehab, how long did you stay and was it helpful in your recovery?

I'm probably grasping at thin air here when I ask these things but I would just like to see opinions from someone who has lived my addicts hell.

[windysan]

My family and friends did one for me. At that point I'd been trying to quit on my own for about a year and failing miserably. I wasn't angry with them because I knew they were concerned about me dying....which I was. I did 3 days in a psych unit for detox then 28 days in a rehab. I actually enjoyed getting the rest because about 5 years prior to that I was working full time on my addiction and that was hard work !!

[Jane63]

My family knew I had a problem but still weren't sure if I really needed the opiates for pain and so they were reluctant to do much other than worry and wonder. This enabled me to keep in my cycle of addiction for awhile longer until I made up my own mind to seek help.
I researched and found a rehab and even called to admit myself on my own, but with the love and support of my family.
I was only in a 4-day rehab/detox but it was enough for me to get myself together and give me the tools to continue working on it after my discharge.

IMO, it can either go two ways...one being that he accepts the help and goes and two, that he gets mad and continues to abuse. Either way you won't know unless you try and you have nothing to lose by trying!
Us addicts are self-centered people and sometimes I think our loved ones letting us know how much we are hurting them is the swift kick in the butt we need!
Good luck to you and yours!!
Jane

[hairgirl]

I decided after quitting coke on my own, that I should have went into a rehab, but I was too scared of losing my kid and tried to hide my problem.I did manage to do it alone, but soon found that I developed a painkiller addiction after a legitimate injury.My theory is I did not have the necessary help and resources when I stopped the cocaine, and when I got hurt, I unleashed the beast all over again.After a year and a half of hell trying to beat it alone again, I threw up my hands and surrendered. I went into outpatient treatment and have been clean almost a year.I know that I needed help, and after doing so, I had the tools needed to succeed in my recovery.
After my experiences, I truly feel nobody can quit completely alone without having serious problems in their efforts.I was lucky to have found my husband while I was trying to quit coke, and it helped give me a reason to keep fighting- a new beginning- a family.Life was so hard alone with a kid, that I just wanted to escape the pain that life brought me any way I could.New beginnings sometimes have a way to give you new hope.

[LadyTenn422]

dont know if this is the route you meant, may not be but this show is my fave and lots of times has great happy endings, heres is the contact the producers link, best of luck, and much love to you...'

A&E Television - Intervention Participate

[jerect]

Originally Posted by LadyTenn422

dont know if this is the route you meant, may not be but this show is my fave and lots of times has great happy endings, heres is the contact the producers link, best of luck, and much love to you...'

A&E Television - Intervention Participate

I have watched this show several times and even though it's not the exact route I want to take, I prefer a more private affair, the show has helped me alot in terms of getting the ball rolling.

Oh and GO VOLS!!!! LadyTENN : )

[kj3880]

My advice?
I would just extend the hand of help. If it's turned down, we aren't ready yet. You can't help us until we surrender to our addiction and make a decision to get help and that won't happen until s/he is ready. We can't make anyone clean but ourself.

I don't use rehab resources on someone who isn't ready because a lot of times insurance will only pay for it one time, and you want that time to be the time they can get use out of it, when they are ready.

Just my opinion. And you will be needing Alanon, or some type of Codie group to support you. Best of luck.
KJ

[windysan]

Do you think he's sick of his addiction and sick of himself yet? That always helps.

[jerect]

Originally Posted by windysan

Do you think he's sick of his addiction and sick of himself yet? That always helps.

He has tried unsuccessfully to stop many times. He was attending NA up until about a month ago, all the while using but pretending to be clean.. He told me that he uses not to get high but to feel normal.. Not sure what he means by that but then again I can't begin to understand because I'm not an addict.

I think he wants to stop, I just think that he can't. And maybe I'm just being hopeful with that statement but it's so sad to sit back and watch his life spiral out of control.

[kj3880]

If he is just using opiates to feel normal, not to get high, he's a candidate for suboxone therapy. Worked wonders for me, not too painful at all. In fact physically it was completely painless. I missed getting high a bit at first, not anymore, though. Have you looked into this type of program? It will stop the opiate abuse if he takes it properly, and it will help the pot cravings, too, IMO.
KJ

[Lily]

I was part of an intervention. It was in February 1991. I was addicted to meth and I was sick and tired and was actually quite relieved when my family stepped in. I went to 2 weeks of detox and 6 months of treatment. It was actually kind of fun, but a long six months. after 3 months my 3 yr old got to join me. I never did meth again. i did relapse many years later on opitates but never even got close to the extent of my illness and disease while on meth.

blessings! Sheila

[Jane63]

jerect...I agree with the others that no addict will stop until they are good and ready! I also agree with kj that you should find a support group to help you cope and for others to vent with who are going through or have been through the same experience.
It is just my opinion though (and no disrespect to anyone else!) that your spouse should try rehab first instead of suboxone therapy and if that doesn't work then I'm sure the DR's there will know what is best!
When he says he is using to feel normal, I would bet he has already experienced some nasty withdrawals at some point in his addiction and believe me...withdrawals can make you feel mighty "abnormal"!!!

You also say he has tried several times to quit unsuccessfully...well, maybe he has just not found the right tools to help him stick with it? In rehab they give you those tools through classes, meetings and counciling. Many rehabs will also make them comfortable during the withdrawal process with certain medications then wean them off as time dictates.
Best of luck and please keep us posted!
Jane

[Done-With-It]

How Can I Help An Alcoholic or Drug Addict? - Specific Things You Can Do To Help


How to do an Intervention for a Drug Addict or Alcoholic

[jerect]

You guys are AWESOME!!!!! Thank you so much for your replies. I always enjoy reading posts from addicts and recovering addicts. It gives me a whole new understanding of the disease.

I think with a carefully planned intervention my husband will go but not without putting up a fight. He has been in detox once before for 10 days and they used suboxone. He stayed clean for a while but he did not work a program and he found himself right back in his addiction. He started going to NA, begin to work a program and he relapsed. Stopped working the program, still attended NA until I guess he felt so guilty for pretending that he was clean that he quit going.

The rehab his mother and I have selected does not use any drugs for detoxing, they are a 12 step based program and they allow no visitors of phone calls untill the last five days of treatment and then the family comes and stays the last five days and they do a family program.

Of course, you can lead the horse to water but you can't make him drink. I do realize that what my AH does in rehab is totaly up to him. All I can do is put this in my HP's hands and hope for the best.

[emmer]

Best of luck...