any advice?

[fndngserenity]

Hi everyone. I am part of the friends and family forum. I joined back in July. I was wondering if any of you could tell me what to look for. My bf was addicted to painkillers for 5 years approx. He's been on sub since last august. Sometimes he would run out of sub and use oxy in between. I think he is using again.
His behaviors have me thinking so. I found a bag in his pocket the other day and he said it wasn't his. hmmmm. I told him I believed him but my gut said different. I know the drugs will make you lie so I am not taking it personally. But...... I have two questions I'm hoping someone on here can answer.

1.) If he is taking suboxone and he snorts oxy at the same time, will he get sick?

2.) What are some signs I can look for "physical" to help me tell if he is using?

If anyone on here has some insight that would be great. I told him he could always be honest with me and I wouldn't be mad. I just don't want to be lied to. I have a five year old daughter and if he is currently using, I need to know so I can keep her out of this.

Thank you

[fndngserenity]

If he is using then I'm not sure what I will do. I want to be there for him if the time comes where he needs support. I know I can't do it for him but I believe he has what it takes to beat this. He just has to find what I see in him.
I do not accuse him or snoop behind his back. I told him I would always be there for him. He did tell me a few months ago that when it comes to drugs, I cannot trust him. He said he needs someone to question him and lookout for him. Well, one time when I thought he was using, I asked a question about it and he got sooooo upset. I knew it was the drugs talking so I let it go and didn't press on. Haven't asked him about it since. Just remind him now and again that I believe in him and that he is strong. Maybe one day he will see that. Maybe not. Only God knows that.

[hairgirl]

I have heard allot more lately that people bounce between Sub and other opiates quite easily, you just have to put enough time between the two.Everyone is different.It sounds like he is looking for you to be his guardian angel, and dragging you in as a codependent.
He has to learn to be responsible for himself and if he told you flat out that you cannot trust him when it comes to drugs, then don't.He should have to prove that he can take care of this himself.There is nothing wrong with being supportive, but your kid comes first.She only has you to guide her, and if your gut is telling you things are not right, then they probably aren't.
As far as physical symptoms, nodding out is one for sure.Also, the mood swings, no money, hanging with using friends, unaccounted whereabouts, justifying using because things are too hard.
Trust your gut.

[splendra]

Originally Posted by findingserenity

I was wondering if any of you could tell me what to look for.

Look for that feeling in your gut that tells you things aren't right. You can't fight his addiction for him. No way no how....

[bvaljalo]

1) No, if you've been on subs for a while and gotten stable on them, you can pretty much take oxy's and they won't make you sick. They just won't get you high unless you take really large amounts of them, and even then they don't work great ... at least that's how it is for the first couple of days.

I used to run out of subs from time to time and found that a bit (as in, much less than I used to take) of oxy could tide me over for a couple or three days until I could get my script filled. Getting back onto subs at that point was painless as well.

The problem arises though when you DON'T make it in to fill your sub script for more than a few days. The longer one waits, the harder it gets when you do go back on them. For many reasons, actually ...

2) Oh, I dunno ... the whole 'they are not mine' excuse ... is a pretty old one, if you catch my drift. Did you know him when he was using, and when he was on Subs? I would guess they'd be fairly different, especially if you are really close to this person on a daily basis, so probably the best way is to compare his behavior NOW vs how he acted during each of the two time periods. That should give you a big clue. Other than that, though, subs and oxys are both opiates, so they have similar physical effects, it's just that oxy's get you high, and subs don't. Subs are a lot cheaper than an oxy habit (if they aren't prescribed), subs don't require running out to score all the time, as oxy does (if they aren't prescribed).

You may wanna check for the post I wrote called "To Callie ...", it's probably on the second page of threads right now I'd guess...

Good luck, and keep posting

[fndngserenity]

The last time I know about him using he took a LOT. He snorted 300mg one day. He said he thought he had od'd and couldn't believe he hadn't. I'm just going to go with my gut and the different moods and stuff. As far as I know, he wasn't using when I met him but his current behavior is very similar to the behavior when I met him so he very well could have been using then. I don't know. He's very "I love you baby, sweetie, etc." and seems happy and then tired.
He's gone to camp with his grandfather and that makes me feel better because I know he won't be here hanging out at the bar meeting up with his "buddies". And then I will be meeting him up there Saturday.
Well, thanks for the advice. I am just going to keep my eyes WIDE open and be very observant. I might even start writing down his moods and behaviors to see if there is a pattern. If he is using - he is screwe$ because his sub doctor gave him no more chances. And I'm not going to freak out about it and worry this time. These are his choices that he is making. If he wants to mess it up then he has to deal with the consequences. I am going to start reading my book again and work on detaching myself a bit so if the time comes where I have to leave or he commits suicide, I will be a little more prepared.

Thanks everyone and Have a great day!

[kj3880]

umm....addicts don't hold drugs for others. We do drugs. Sorry.
KJ

[kj3880]

Serenity,
I feel bad that I posted the above. I feel that maybe it was too short to explain the concept I wanted to convey. Usually I'm pretty articulate, but that post wasn't my best work...sorry.

I wanted to say that I know how hard it is to be dating an addict. After I got clean, my b/f wasn't successful on kicking. So I put up with it for a couple of months, just hoping the treatment would help. I even paid for his treatment the last month we were together cause he was broke. I suspected he was broke from buying drugs, but I didn't prove that.

I know for sure he didn't take his meds and he didn't go to meetings. Then he started drinking, lying, and went back on the opiates (I think. I never caught him, but all the signs were there and that was enough for me).

The signs?
1. Weird pinpoint pupils when it's kinda dark in the room (I'd compare his eyes to someone standing next to him).
2. Etraordinary lack of cash. Lame excuses for same.
3. Unexplained illness or sleeplessness at times, followed by unexplained trips that you can't go on. Followed by "I'm feeling better" perkiness all of a sudden.
4. Chattering way too much, like constantly. I talked non-stop on opiates.
5. Meaningless bouts of activity, cleaning like mad. Unable to sit still.
6. Lies. Addicts lie about everything.

It gets worse. That's just a start. Get away from this nightmare if you can. Love from:
KJ

[bvaljalo]

300mg a day? Although that dosage could kill several grown adults if they were 'opiate-naive' as they say, that amount is par for the course for a serious addict. I did that much every day for months on end, and considerably more on many occasions. I've heard of people snorting upwards of a 1000mg every day.

That being said, getting cold turkey off a daily dosage level that high, without being locked up, would be impossible for roughly 99% of addicts I've ever known or heard of.

Another sign for you to watch for is that oxy's suppress a man's ability to get an erection and, uh, "finish his business" much more profoundly than bupe does in my experience.

[fndngserenity]

Another sign for you to watch for is that oxy's suppress a man's ability to get an erection and, uh, "finish his business" much more profoundly than bupe does in my experience.

Hehe. I had to giggle at this one. He's never been able to have one with me because he is on suboxone and cymbalta. Finally, after four months of seriously being together, he had one the other day. I couldn't stop smiling, lol. FINALLY!