Lonley Recovery

[ShutupScott]

I have over 4 months clean and sober now, i'm in a sober living home and everyone went home for a week to visit family, i didn't.. i don't want to risk going back there just yet.. but i went from living with 14 people to just me, and my sponsor is out of town, man i wasn't expecting to feel this depressed.. i'm not really sure what i'm trying to accomplish by posting this or if it makes any difference in how i feel, but i have nothing better to do

[Peter]

This is taken from the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book;

Chapter 7

WORKING WITH OTHERS

"Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss."

Hang in there.The lonliness will go. You need this time to yourself.

[Jen042208]

Hi! I also have 4 months sober and often feel the way you do right now. Getting used to being sober is not easy, but I know it's better than the way it was before!

When I feel the way you are, I try to do something, ANYTHING to help someone else. Even just calling other people to see how they are doing helps! Good luck!

Keep up the great work!

[windysan]

What those guys said. It takes time learning how to deal with EVERYTHING without the dope. You'll get used to it and it gets real good. I promise.

[serenityqueen]

What ever you do, DON'T shutupscott!

This is the second time tonight that I have shared this same thing on SR.

One of the four main "reasons" people find for picking up are in HALT.

You have the lonley. Ok, we've all been there but the important thing is how we handle it and you did the right thing. You've shared it, you got on here for company.

You mentioned your sponsor being out of town, so obviously you're going to meetings. It sounds like a lot of meetings are in order for the week while the other residents are home with families. Get lots of numbers, men's numbers! Don't get distracted in a relationship right now.

And good call not going home if you don't feel safe and secure in doing that yet.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FOUR MONTHS!!!!

And remember, This Too Shall Pass.

God Bless,
Judy

[windysan]

YouTube - Buckethead SoothsayerI found some Buckethead to keep you company for a bit.

[Rowan]

Hang in there, Scott. I chose to stay in treatment when others when home on a weekend pass. I'm glad I did - the time to myself was therapeutic. I spent a lot of time walking in nature, and just getting quiet inside.
Keep sharing - we care.

[hairgirl]

The best thing you did was coming here to share your feelings.That is definately a good thing.We all experience loneliness from time to time, and it seems that we have taken a path unlike most people, it takes a great deal of determination and strength to keep fighting.The payoff is so worth it though.A year ago, I was wishing for an end to the pain and emptiness, and today I am married, have just moved into a beautiful new home, and soon adopting a puppy and continue to stay clean.I cannot imagine where I would be without recovery.

[goneriding]

Windysan: I absolutely love Buckethead - thank you very much for the link. I will defintely be listening to this today.

Scott: I am right there with you, not four months clean just a couple of days after a minor set back (relapse). My kids are back in school and I am here by myself during the day. The thing that helps me the most is starting my day with a list of the things I would like to accomplish (sober) and that typically keeps me on track. I have not kept this list for a couple of weeks, but notice a huge difference in my day when I do. My self quote (on my list today) is "I am very aware that we can only think one thought at a time, So I refuse to think the negative thoughts that keep the good out". You will find what works for you.


Sending possitive thoughts your way . . .

[Lily]

Good post Scott. Good going on not going home yet too. I agree w/ what everyone said on here. One time I asked the speaker after a meeting why I relasped when everything was going good and I was just bored and she told me I needed to get involved in service work and helping others. So I did and the boredum has ceased as has the loneliness.

we are here for you...thanks for posting. Sheila

[HopeTo180]

Welcome Scott,
This is a great time to give yourself a few minutes. Write down what you may have a hankering for. A juicy burger, ice cream, hot bath etc. What about something to do. Bowling, solitaire, juggling, exercise, a nice walk, calling a family member or a friend etc.
When I found Sobriety I was amazed at how much I had deprived myself. I've had a lot of catching up to do. I try to think of something everyday to reward myself for doing so well. You'll think of something Scott. In fact, I've had a hankering for Taco Bell (fire sauce) and right after I post this message, I'm heading down the road for a Taco Dinner! Thanks for the idea Scott! Prayers

[roadie58]

got meetings?

I now own one of those featherweight phones? You know at first it's difficult to pick up the phone and call others, after a while it gets easier.

Two things to get results- get the God thing, make friends.

[freshstart]

gotta hit meetings when you are feeling like this. also most local meetings this time of year have tons of stuff to do with other members. the NA group right north of me does something every weekend. camping, movies, floating, fishing.... always something. get out and get involved. use the call list and they will give you a ride if you need it. i know how you feel. i went from prison to rehab to home by myself. it's hard. real hard. but you have to get your mind out of the funk. don't let yourself get restless irritable and discontent. that's a deadly combo. keep posting and keep your head up.

[Iona]

Thanks for your share. That limbo space can be intimidating. I can only share my experience of it: I used it to slow down and start listening to the space around me, getting back inside my own skin and finding out who I am again. Its valuable space for me now - my priorities have changed and I move at a different pace now.

It tripped me up at first. I relapsed on lonleyness and boredom and it took that for me to realise that I didnt want to be ruled by those feelings so I stepped aside, took a deep breath and found ways to distract myself until I could handle being alone with me again.