Is sober life boring?

[Orele]

I don't feel right being sober, it's been nearly 2 months now. I forget when I stopped using heroin it was April sometime. I was using a stupid amount of low grade heroin, not getting high wasting my money, constantly worrying about money, lying to myself and others and now that's all gone. I had/have a massive void in my life, work helped to fill most of it but then I was using whilst at work. I don't know, I just find sober life so hard. It's been well over 6 weeks since I last used but I still crave once in a while. I'm stupid I start thinking about using. I start to plan to meet my dealer and because of this I get a bit shaky and have the horrid hot/cold flushes. I really needed to slow myself down, relax and take things at a slow pace. Thing is I felt so at ease when I was on H, I hardly got high, the gear was bad but I smoked enough to have that nice peaceful feeling. I really miss that but I know I shouldn't think about it too much. Why do I feel this way? I still remember back in my teens I, as described by a few people I used to breath fire. I have no idea why I was this way, I had no troubles at home as such and led quite a normal social school life but always seemed to be so angry at nothing. When I had H for the first time it was a huge mistake, I for the first time felt calm. People say you need to use for quite a while to get it's full effect, not me, the first time was enough.
At the moment I need to meditate to relax. I'm finding sober life so boring, I try and stimulate myself, I read quite a lot, I've started exercising again but this might be a mistake as on the days I don't exercise I feel really edgy and angry. I spoke to a friend who used to use and he said something I remember. He asked me why I started using again and I had no answer. He said after a few seconds "don't say you were bored, you were bored before you started using". He's totally right, I didn't use before and lived a normal life so I don't need to use now to lead a normal life. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you overcome these thoughts? I really like to know how you did it? I find it very hard to unwind, last weekend was a prime example. I woke up Saturday morning at about 7am fully awake after going to sleep at nearly 3am and tried hard to get back to sleep, I gave up and started to read a book. At about 8am I phoned up work and asked if they needed me and they did. I did the same on Sunday.
I know this is a slitghly waffly post but I just, I'm not totally sure of what I'm asking.

[kj3880]

Orele,
I was scared that i'd never have fun again when I contemplated getting clean. But it's been great. I have to say that the key to that is the new friends I've made in my homegroup at NA. They fill up my life with fun and love when I would otherwise be alone and bored. I know it sounds kind of corny and all, but they are cool, too.

And believe me, there's enough drama in that bunch to keep anyone from being bored what with all the dating and flirting that goes on with those that have more clean time than me.

I don't want to push NA. It's a program of attraction, not promotion. But you did ask what we do to be not bored. And that's what got me into a routine of getting out and having fun.

I also, with encouragement and sometimes the companionship of my sisters in NA, took up my old hobbies, painting, fabric art, modern quilting, decorating, etc.

I think that excercizing is a wonderful decision. I wish I would get going more on that. Do it every day if that is what keeps the goblins out of your head. Look at it this way, you used every day....so now you have to do stuff every day to stay straight.

Good for you putting yourself out there like this. Honesty will save your @$$ more often than not.
kj

[RobbyRobot]

hi Orele,

that's a great post! congrats on your 6 weeks. having some boredom in sobriety is normal. letting it get to you too much is not gonna work too well. i always found helping others in any way you can is a great way to shake off not just boredom but pretty well anything else.

any kind of service at all to others in need. dosen't have to be only a recovery service. anything at all for others does the trick. what goes around comes around.

being clean n sober rocks!! stay with it, it only gets better. seriously.

[tommyk]

Sober life for me is much more exciting than when I was using. My psychiatrist told me my mind would get sharper from not using, I didn't believe her, but she was right.

I participate in way more activities now than I ever did using. When I was using most nights were all the same - go out, get wasted, go to bed. That's boring.

[suki44883]

It's only as boring as you make it.

[WA_NA_Survivor]

It's a normal part of the process to have the cravings and a lot of strong emotional feelings coming off opiates. You made a good decision to quit as you never know, you may be another OD casualty if you decide to roll the dice again. I felt the intense cravings, depression and other emotional crap for some months after going cold turkey.

The best thing to do, since addiction affects you at a spiritual level, is to do as many Narcotics Anonymous meetings as possible - I even attended meetings while in the last stage of withdrawals and it was incredibly uplifting and freeing. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn't the headlights of an oncoming train. After some time you want to seek out a sponser, a woman who really understands and works the program, someone you can talk to about all your hopes and fears.

Don't go back, you're moving in the right direction.

To answer your question, no it isn't boring, you have a lot of stress and agitation in early recovery trying to live life without those familiar things we used to use. As time goes on in recovery, hope and a vision of possibilities undreamed of begins to take hold, and the cravings begin to lose their hold on you.

We all look back and think, where did I cross the line between normal life and addiction, I used to have a normal life...... and that's true but the addictive tendencies were there and now that we crossed that line we have to adapt to a way of life that keeps relapse from being a possibility for today. NA is a Just for Today program and that keeps as from being obsessed with the future and the past.

[Flatts4Ever]

Yes it does seem to be a boring life being sober HUH? I think about pills all the time from morning till night. What I would give to just take 1 pain pill to get that high 1 more time...BUT in the end it wouldnt just be the 1 time it will lead to 2 times, 3 times ETC.
I have never done H before I could never bring myself to do it.....I could just imagine what kinda mess I would be in right now if I had.....I love pain pills so much I could only imagine what H would do to me

So I guess we are to lead the boring sober life and I guess I have to agree with a poster above me....It is what u make it

[Orele]

Thanks guys you got me thinking and helped to clear out some of the negative thoughts. All of you helped me to see something new, things that were right infront of me that I just failed to notice. I guess time is the key, moving ahead slowly and dealing with certain triggers as they come. I've had to deal with self made situations quite a lot and luckily got through them, I just hope I remain strong.
Kj I'm glad you found a group that you feel part of, I see a drug worker in one to one sessions about once a week and I am really considering going to a NA meeting if I can find one. Thing is quite a few years ago I decided to isolate myself, I moved area which made it easier. I told no one I was moving and cancelled my mobile contract so no one could contact me. I guess that's something I need to stop, I think I might be scared to get close to people which is ironic as I used to be a very social person. I can't even remember why I done that or what I gained, I think I lost if I'm honest.
It's past 3am guess I'll be back later.

[WA_NA_Survivor]

Orele, here's a link to the UK NA Meeting Locator FYI.

Narcotics Anonymous - Meetings

Also the NA Basic Text:
http://www.na.org/pdf/litfiles/us_en...s/BASICTXT.pdf
(the chapter on Recovery and Relapse is a very good read - it all is btw)

[Peter]

I was never more bored than when I was using. There is nothing boring about being clean. Being clean now means that I can think more clearly and make some healthy decisions for myself,and find pro active things to do. Simple things in life are way more pleasurable when we can experience them sober. Attend some NA meetings and volunteer for service work. I found H&I service work very rewarding. Attend a few courses to further your education. You say you work out and meditate. Very good. You just need to find something productive to do with all that extra energy you have.

[zencat]

I remember sitting in jail and being bored out of my mind. Although going through retched detox on a cold hard concrete floor in a stinky jail cell wasn't so boring now that I think about it.

[ccgirl2]

First off, you sound like you could have some natural depression from stopping use.


Secondly, I've learned that life isn't always exciting. It's made up of "moments" and the rest is day to day. Sometimes, just sometimes, those are the best times of all.

[bvaljalo]

I like zencat's observation.

When I start feeling bored, I start to think about what kicking dope in jail might be like.

This gives me the perspective I need to be able to say to myself that no matter how bored I might be, its still better than choosing to use, and thus putting my self in a situation where something like that might be in my future.

Give it time my friend. You didn't use for only 6 weeks, so don't expect to be totally healed in 6 weeks either. I'm not saying it takes the same amount of time as that, but ... you are still very close to 'the action'. Over time you find ways to combat and resist those feelings of being bored and thinking that dope is the solution. Trust me ... you don't need that kind of excitement in your life.

[hairgirl]

I think part of the problem is that we put so much effort into copping our dope, it took up allot of our time.The planning, the getting, the sneaking, etc.
You have to find things that will give you that thrill, whatever it is- as long as you are not hurting yourself or those around you.

[kj3880]

I agree Hairgirl. I forgot about how much more time I seemed to have like, right away, as soon as I didn't have to run around seeking my junk all the time. I found it really freeing, but maybe someone else may find it boring. I know that my exab/f was like that. He loved the thrill of copping drugs. I thought it was just scary and exhausting. So glad that's over. But I do understand how some people find it to be kind of an adventure. What things can we do to have better adventures? Any ideas?
My idea: visiting H and I. Can be very scary and thrilling at times.
Just an idea.
kj

[Sugah]

I don't know about you all, but I'd like to have a little time to get bored. I haven't been bored since...hmmm....oh, yeah! Early recovery!

It's been suggested above - find something to get out of yourself. It seems paradoxical that "you have to work on yourself" - and "you have to get out of yourself," but, really, it's not. Getting out of ourselves by being useful to others helps us to move away from that self-centeredness that is at the root of addiction. Some folks will say, "But I'm always doing for others." Most addicts who say that, if they look close and hard at it, realize they do so with expectation - of recognition, of tit for tat, of any kind of personal gain. A good buddy of mine has an exercise he does to deflate his ego. Every day, he tries to do something for someone else - without getting caught, even by the person he's doing it for.

Peace & Love,
Sugah