I Relapsed :(

[lb87]

damn, i managed a whole 7 weeks withouht cocaine, went on holiday to greece felt great my nose began to heal loads and was really happy about it stopped worrying about my nose and was glad it was getting back to normal.

i then done just under half a gram on saturday. i dont feel to bad about it as i know i wont touch it again or a while, but why does my brain say "for a while" and not "for ever" i want to not do it ever again!!!

my nose is still better than it was but i have definetly caused damage and hindered its process of naturally healing. i have been told by another person who done it for 2 years like me that the nose will take 6 months to heal without any use. so my aim now is to make it through to christmas and my nose should be near as damn it back to normal, i no it will never be the same agian and will always be week but at least it will look normal up there, im glad that it does heal though and that i never got a hole up there other wise there would be no turning back, i realise also i could have problems with my heart, i believe this is not the case as i am very healthy and a gym fanatic and i never have problems with sport or my heart rate.

has any one else had experience with problem with their nose and how long did it take yours to heal? i know a hole will never heal unless a very small pin ***** one, but i do not have that.

xxx

[RobbyRobot]

sorry bout your relapse lb
a whole 7 weeks shows your trying to get this thing done so just get back up. get some more help. look hard at your recovery process and make some changes. hanging with using friends ain't the path to take. hope your gonna get better. very good of you to post lb87, keep posting!

[lb87]

thank you, yea 7 weeks was a long time, i feel like i have ruined all my hard work

[whiskerkissed]

You haven't ruined all your hard work, but you definitely gave yourself something to think about. 7 weeks is still seven weeks. Now work it again...:-)

[lb87]

thankyou i plan on making it a lot longer than 7 weeks this time

[Tryin2Recover]

stop trying to worry about for a while or 'for ever'. From now on only concern yourself with JUST FOR TODAY! Good luck.

[Impurrfect]

I agree with tryin - don't worry about "forever".

My DOC was crack. When I began recovery, I could not think in terms of "forever"...just way too overwhelming. I finally made myself a promise. I would put everything into my recovery for a year. If I still wanted to do crack, at that time, it would still be there.

It didn't take a year for me to realize I don't WANT to do crack (or anything else) again. Don't know when it changed, but it did. I've got almost 16 months and using anything is just not an option any more. Life is too good without it, even on the bad days.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[kj3880]

I bet your nose will heal just fine pretty soon if you keep off the snow. Remember, one day doesn't undo all the good work you did. Sounds like you got right back on your program. Good for you. By the way, what steps are you taking to help yourself stay straight? New friends or associates? Different hobbies? Maybe, dare I say it, go to a meeting or three this week?

We all have one more run in us. And this stuff can kill us each and every time we go out there, in fact it's more risky when we relapse, physically, because our bodies are no longer used to it, we don't have the tolerance level that we built up before. Plus we're not as familiar with the "product" that's out as we were when on the daily habit mode. Just something to keep in mind.

Don't beat yourself up, sounds like you learned something. Remember, we don't ever have to use again.
kj