I need this explained to me, please....

[kj3880]

The "right" genetics + enough exposure (different for everyone) = an addict.

Just my opinion.

I've known recreational crack-smokers, quite a few of 'em. But I've never known a recreational heroin shooter. Unless they only tried it once, and luckily for them, became really nauseous and never tried it again.
I think heroin can addict anyone, especially if you shoot it.
kj

[Klynn33]

hmmm....some good answers to "think" about.........

I kinda get what BV says...too much thinking, and maybe I am trying to convince myself that it wasn't that bad, and that I could handle it again. Not so far fetched.......especially for me. I get annoyed with the whole thing because I feel I'm doing so good (I have over a month completely clean) and for me, that's something. Right now I have no interest in using again, but my focus seems to be switched to why I did in the first place. I would like to let it go, and really start to enjoy my recovery.
I'm still having "off and on" withdrawals, and they seem to be the worst on the week-end, that's my worst time. But they're not bad, and don't last long. And I know I can get through them. I think I have been through a lot, got through a lot, and have a lot to offer other people who need help, and that's something I'd really like to do. Can't do that when I can't understand why we do that to ourselves in the first place.

and who the he** invented drugs in the first place????????
'cause I'd like to have a chat with him right now...................

[sk8rvirgo]

Late on the reply but yes, OP stands for "Original Poster". New to me as of just a few weeks ago but I'll tell ya, it saves TONS of time when responding!!

[Klynn33]

lol. they'll be glad you cleared that one up


of course the on-line pharmacy was kinda funny............

[ccgirl2]

Krista, the online pharmacy was me, lol. See how addicts think?

[Klynn33]

I know - and I laughed when you wrote that.

not only sad that's how addicts thing, sad fellow addicts find it amusing

[ccgirl2]

Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself and your, um, problems, who can?

[Abundance]

I'm one of those people that can use and have not gotten addicted....... YET. Although, I am addicted to cigarettes..... which is the most USELESS drug! Seriously!

I learned that the following is what happens with using:

1. Experimental
2. Social
3. Habitual
--------------------------------------
4. Abuse
5. Addiction

There are folks that can get to line 3 and then cork screw themselves back out... but that line is very thin from habit over to abuse...... and then it quickly turns to addiction. Why do some people make it to 4 or 5? Maybe because it is a "go big or go home" mentality.... or a form of escapism? It feels good... it feels normal... we just feel better. And as we all know.... once we get to that level 4.... it's quite frankly ... most definitely... that we got a hold of something that has gotten a HOLD OF US!

I also believe that it's a "seeking" mentality of having the instant gratification... and drugging/drinking brings it to fruition. In recovery, we learn to to look at life as it is...... not as it should be.

Personally.... I have reached to level 3 a few times and when I look back ... I can see where it was those times in my life that I was the most un-centered and was potentially so close to crossing that line. Why I didn't.... I do not know.... actually... it's more like "why I haven't"..... YET. I feel so grateful knowing what I know now because I see the YET applying to me as well.

Addiction isn't just with drinking/drugging..... it's with many things...that can be put into the mix, which I totally relate to! I have bouts with social addiction... food... exercise... love... co-dependence ... knowledge.... notice how I say bouts...... not bout(s)...... they come back in the same form or another.

The beauty of recovery is being able to recognize our own strengths/weaknesses and knowing that things such as drugs/drinking is what we get a hold of that ultimately get a hold of us.

Recovery is EMPOWERING!!!!! The truth is within each and everyone of us.... all good things in good time..... when we feel that need for the quick and easy "instant gratification"...... the power of knowing that change is forever constant and viewing life as it is and not as it should be..... that this too shall pass.... is just one of the beautiful "knowings" we have in recovery!

Walk where you like your steps!!!!

[Abundance]

Krista...... as far as your son is concerned..... I can relate. My oldest already shows addictive behavior. As his mother, I teach him the art of consequence in all that he does.... allowing him to to fall, while also pointing out the consequence of that fall. Who knows what is going to happen in his teenage years or even tomorrow..... he is his own person. He has his own path. While he is of an impressionable age I encourage meditation, the truth in knowing who you are and recognizing good feelings vs. bad feelings and being able to work through all the feelings simply by observing them for what they are....... NOT as what they should be. Teaching him to hold only himself accountable in all of life's situations.

[bvaljalo]

How'z the ABF, Abz?

Been thinking about you guys

[Klynn33]

little update (for those who I haven't been chasing on the boards....

I no longer need to worry about what my original post on here was. I have to say, with over a month in (and wow, that went by fast)....I can't believe how much better I am feeling. I still get mild withdrawals, and I still have cravings, and I still do the what-if's.......but they're happening less often, and with less intensity. Then I have nights like this, where I can't believe that I didn't try to clean myself up sooner. And I'm not going to dwell on the past, or why it happened, or what my problem is. I know what my problem is, I'm an addict. simple. and it doesn't matter. what matters is how I deal with it. right? right.
and for today I am...........

[bvaljalo]

Happy 30+ days Klynn. You're doing great sweetie

As long as you don't *think too much* ... I'm betting you'll continue to do great

Yep, you were just an addict, doing what addicts do, that pretty much explains it all. No need to complicate things.

A few more things to keep in mind: The KISS rule always applies. Take things one day at a time. Give yourself a break. Just keep trying to do the next right thing, and when you fail to do so, admit it and resolve to do better next time. When you're wrong, promptly admit it. Keep your side of the street clean. Don't worry about what others do, or try to change them. You can't. 'Turn it over' on a daily basis, admit you aren't in charge of much in this world. When you get stressed, pray the serenity prayer.

Guess where I learned all those things?

[ccgirl2]

Krista? Sweetie? Nah, not my Krista, LOL

[Impurrfect]

Way to go Krista!!!!!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[whiskerkissed]

((KRISTA))

Way to go!! You're dealing with it well. Exactly how you need to be it sounds. I'm definitely proud of you!!

[Klynn33]

ok there Beavis....er...I mean Colagirl. I AM a sweetie (thank you BV - as well as for the praise and added advice).

Whisker and Amy and Gmoney, thanks.
not planning too far ahead......today is great. I'm a little concerned about my daughter coming out next week - don't get me wrong - I haven't seen her in a few months and I'm thrilled she's moving out here with us.......but it's a change in routine. somehow I need to prepare for that.

(and I can't thank everyone enough for the help on these boards, seriously - if there was an award - you would all get one)

[Klynn33]

oh Lord,
that should have been CCgirl - now poor Cola girl thinks I called her Beavis.
maybe I'll call them both Beavis as not to get confused again.

or maybe I'll just go and pick up my son and try to get the foot out of my mouth.........

(back to the whiners thread........)

[colagirl]

You can consider my thanks to those posts with sarcasm tags around them!

It's funny, I hardly ever read the substance abuse forums, but here I am and I'm being insulted unknowingly!! (Actually, my first thought was... crap, did I come here when I was last drunk and post something totally stupid??) Ahhh, thank god I was mistaken!

My best friend and I actually refer to ourselves as Beavis and Butthead sometimes because of our trademark immaturity (which we are proud of - children at heart, see?), so you were not totally off the mark.

[Klynn33]

lol.

phew! now that I have that one resolved....off to my next f*** up.

[ccgirl2]

Beavis checking in....or am I Butthead, lol


I forgot to say way to go on your 30 days!

[Klynn33]

Beavis Babe,
you're definately Beavis. and no...before you ask, it does NOT run both ways,......I am not Butthead.

so it's 5:28am - funding wasn't put in my account like it was supposed to, so now I guess I have to wait the week-end? lovely. and I have a flat tire which means I'll be late for work since I have to get that sorted out.

grrr....
perfect day to slip up. I won't of course, it just would be a perfect day to do so.

[kj3880]

Way to go on 30 days, Krista!!!