Dreams?

[canuhearme]

Hey guys, I have been having really scary dreams for the past week or so. Some are drug related, and I either have gotten high or am about to get high, but I don't recall the actual act of getting high in any of them, But the worst dreams seem to involve me driving and having a wreck, one dream my truck started spinning and I was screaming, then I wake up and I'm actually dizzy from the spinning. I've had 3 car crash dreams and 3 "relapse" dreams in the past week alone.
I've been clean for over a month now, and I was wondering if these dreams are a normal part of recovery? I'm not sleeping much either.
Any comments? I don't mind dreams, but these are really scary.

[lizw]

When I got clean/sober I use to have these dreams all the time that I was getting locked up in mental hospitals or treatment centre type places. I'd be trying to leave and everyone would be telling me I had to stay and trying to stop me; sometimes by holding on to me or other times by tricking me into staying.

The using dreams I had up until recently always involved me accidently picking up. I.e. I'd be drinking/using drugs and then suddenly remember I was meant to be in recovery!!

Over the last 18 months, these dreams have changed slightly and now in my dreams I am drinking/using knowing full well I am in recovery, but in my dreams I don't care. I just want to get wasted.

I been clean and sober for nealry 10 years now and I am unsure if the dreams ever go. I try to see them as a reminded - "once a addict/alkie always an addict/alkie."

[ccgirl2]

Can You, this is something I've never experienced. I'll be lots of other people have though. Hang on for them!

[navysteve]

Hey there,
I don't know exactly why we have such dreams. I have had them from time to time. No amount of step wotk or spiritual development seem to make me invincible to dreams of various kinds. Many people often read into them as some type of omen or evidence of relapses around the corner. My experience has been that they are just dreams. They subside with time.

[Sugah]

I'm an English major, and I was just discussing symbolism with my husband and kids last night after dinner - how you can read a poem, and it's not so much what the poem is about, but the kinds of emotions and wordless thoughts it evokes in you that matters.

I had using dreams frequently for the first three months, regularly for the next six, and once in awhile since then. It's been months since I've had one, but even having a little bit of time clean now, they're still unsettling. I think you'll find that they decrease in frequency in time. Your mind remembers how you used to deal with things, and under certain conditions (or for no reason at all), that memory can rise up from your unconscious while you're asleep.

As far as the car crash dreams that left you dizzy, I recall one particularly unsettling dream a couple of years ago. I was walking around the perimeter of a large building, trying to find a way in when I realized that I was slowly being pinned against this exterior wall, with another wall or a long vehicle pinning me, squeezing the air from my lungs. I could literally feel myself being suffocated, and there was a moment, like right before an old t.v. goes dark, where I knew I was dying. I woke up in a panic. My life was crazy-stressful at the time, and I wasn't really slowing down long enough to process any of it. It was a signal to me that I needed to do something - like take a look at my program.

It takes some time for our unconscious minds to fall in step with our conscious minds. Maybe that's why a spiritual program works so well - it goes deep enough that the motives beneath our thoughts are rewritten along with our thoughts. I've experienced what liz described - using dreams turned into "recovery" dreams - and that tells me that my unconscious mind is learning.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[chiynita]

For me it is very normal. I will have using dreams. Nightmares. Cop dreams. Bloody dreams. Lately I have been having lonely dreams.
I have been single over 4 yrs. And I have been having alot of dreams about being with soemone. All of them have been ex boyfriends. A different one everytime. I have had 3 or 4 of these type of dreams in the past week myself.
And I amnot even thinking about these guys or wanting to be with soemone. But I dream of being with them and how great it feels to have someone just put their arms around you.
These dreams are so emotionaly real. All of them.
They all leave me feeling them for hours after waking.
So for me it is all very very normal.

[justanothrdrunk]

Dreams are a normal part of life.

I don't put to much stock in dreams and what they may mean myself. I do know that it's very common for us to have using dreams. I've been told that using dreams don't mean anything one way or another.

I have them from time to time and really don't give them any thought.

[Munky]

I know I'm only in day 6 of cold turkey recovery (oxycodone abuse), but I'm not dreaming at all. Last night I was finally able to get to sleep without using cannibis food or diphenhydramene (benedryl, 50-100mg). Granted, I didn't drift off until about 4:30am, but I haven't been dreaming at ALL since I stopped using pills. IF I can fall asleep all I can remember is black the next morning. No big deal to me really since I've never been a big dreamer but strangely enough, before I stopped I was having all sorts of wierd dreams, all revolving around me getting captured & tortured or going for surgery and coming out with huge gashes in my knees. Even wierder, that one about my knees, when I woke up from that my knees were actually burning unbelievably (probably because they were in a curled up/cramped position too long).

I'm not really sure what my point is with this, but to the OP, at least you are back to dreaming and sleeping on a semi-consistent basis. I mean....thats gotta be something on the plus side right?

[pakuni boy]

I have read that dreams are imagery from our unconcious minds that give us abstract clues on how to deal with life, dreams also compensate for real life things we might desire or need in extreme, such as chynitas dreams of love, i have those too.
I have also read that vehicles tend to represent our lives and the control we have with them, if we dirve the vehicle we have control, if we are a passenger we don´t have control and if we crash means an urgent change has to be made, u figure out which.
Funny, my recurring nightmare is that I live in an old tall building and I´m terrified that an earthqueake might drop it (i was in San Francisco 89), and the earthquake happens and the building is colapsing as i come down and as i put my last step, out the building collapses inches behind me and i go unscratched, i also dream often that i´m a passenger on a blue klm jumbo jet that flies under highway bridges and tunnels, the wings fit inches from the borders, my plane never crashes.

[SoosieQ]

yes, the dreams about cars symbolize the physical body and may mean that you are lacking a certain nutrient in your diet, or something else as simple as that.

Like chiy I've been dreaming about ex-partners. Dreams are rarely literal. I don't really want any of them to come back, tho' I think about them after I wake up. Also, it is very common in early detox to have intense dreams. Don't fret it. Write them down if that helps you.

As Sugah says: "It takes some time for our unconscious minds to fall in step with our conscious minds. Maybe that's why a spiritual program works so well - it goes deep enough that the motives beneath our thoughts are rewritten along with our thoughts. I've experienced what liz described - using dreams turned into "recovery" dreams - and that tells me that my unconscious mind is learning."

To me, the dreaming is a release, even when it is scary!

[canuhearme]

Thanks for all your input. I was pretty sure you'd say it's normal, but I have just never had many scary dreams. Now it just seem like they are either scary or about using, and that's scary when ou wake up. Once I realize it's just a dream, then it seems to put getting high on my mind a little more, or maybe I had the dream because it had been on my mind unconsciously

[canuhearme]

Originally Posted by Sugah

My life was crazy-stressful at the time, and I wasn't really slowing down long enough to process any of it. It was a signal to me that I needed to do something - like take a look at my program.

I think a few of you nailed it especially Sugah,
The using dreams were either I did it and hubby found out and was mad at me or I'd walk in and he'd be doing it and I'd be mad. It didn't matter how it went the general feeling was we were about to get high together.
I told hubby this week-end, I thought I was dreaming like that because of the very real fear that one of us could cause the other to relapse. "I fall, you fall" or "You fall. I fall". We have had some deep recovery conversations the past few days and I have not had any bad dreams for 2nights!
I have one week longer clean than he does, and we had avoided talking about drugs completely for at least a month. I knew what I was doing in order to stay clean and why I was doing it, but I didn't know what his motives were, or even if he had or wanted a plan to keep it at bay. I know it really bothered me but I couldn't bring my self to bring it up with him for fear of opening a door. But when we talked this week end, I felt so much better because not only do I believe he's really working on it, but his plans for the next few weeks fit the way I was handling it and in some ways enhanced them.
Perhaps my dreams were just telling me to get control of my life before we started spinning out of control. It has eased my mind knowing he's really working towards staying clean, and our recovery plans are woven together well enough not to trip each other up.

Like I said, even in the dreams centered around getting high, I don't recall getting high at all, thank goodness.

[RobbyRobot]

Originally Posted by canuhearme

Thanks for all your input. I was pretty sure you'd say it's normal, but I have just never had many scary dreams. Now it just seem like they are either scary or about using, and that's scary when ou wake up. Once I realize it's just a dream, then it seems to put getting high on my mind a little more, or maybe I had the dream because it had been on my mind unconsciously

hi canuhearme,

sorry you are having scary dreams and what not. i want to tell you not to be influenced one way or another by any night dreaming you experience. like so many things about all of us, we just don't know everything about us let alone trying to distill useful infomation from dreams.

i can see though that you are concerned about what it means to your recovery and that is great that you are leaving no stone unturned. In that light please remember that at the end of the day dreams are really just dreams and we can study them or let them go, it won't make any significant difference or harm in your real recovery either way.

i am concerned that you are scared of course, and for that i am sure you are doing many, many things that are very important to your recovery and to your family and close friends. i have always found doing an inventory checklist of all the great things i am *doing* in my recovery day to day is an excellent remedy against any and all *nameless fears*

keep going, canuhearme, your doing so very well!

[chiynita]

I dont know. Some people say dont read too much into your dreams.
But I dream so intensly all the time. Using ones or not. It's like I have another life in my sleep.
So I do tend to read into them alot.
When I have using dreams I never seem to get high either.
I either end up losing it. Dropping it as soon as I am about to do it. The money turns into grocery coupons as soon as I am about to buy it. LOL that one kills me.
Or if I actually do end up doing the act. Nothing. Like I am just sucking air.
So I look at it like this.
Maybe it is my unconscious mind telling me that doing it leads nowhere.
Because the whole dream is just such a pain in the ass going through it.
And I wake up feeling frustrated because I never did get high.
But then maybe thats the message. It is too much BS to go through for nothing.
Thats just my take on it.

[canuhearme]

The money turns into grocery coupons as soon as I am about to buy it. LOL that one kills me.

ROFL, I love it!!!!

[chiynita]

Yea...Maybe telling me put the crack down and eat something instead.
I was just thinking.
Because I had one of these last night.
Have you ever had dreams like using dreams but you hold onto your recovery in them. Like its everywhere and you actually turn it away. I have these alot too.
The whole dream is drug related but I never touch it.
Or attempt to.
I like those best.

[hopefully tryin]

hey everyone, I will be 2 weeks clean tomorrow and I have also been having some off the wall dreams but they seem sooo real. I have not yet had a "using" dream but have had some dreams and almost cannot tell the difference whether they really happened or were just a dream. I usually take the safe route and tell myself it was a dream and figure if I did talk crazy to someone then they would bring it up to me. All of my dreams have been mostly like wierd conversations with various people from my past and very present. I cant even remember them after a day or so. I am wondering if everyone gets using dreams or just wierd dreams? As I am very afraid that a using dream may trigger something and I cannot go there ever again!!!

[whiskerkissed]

Originally Posted by hopefully tryin

hey everyone, I will be 2 weeks clean tomorrow

I am wondering if everyone gets using dreams or just wierd dreams? As I am very afraid that a using dream may trigger something and I cannot go there ever again!!!

Congrats on your two weeks!!

As for the dreams...oh boy. That was my downfall I'm still crawling up from. I was one of the ones who took too much stock in it. It ended up being a real trigger. Pass them up...let 'em go by and take them for what they are. Just dreams.

[Timebuster]

Hi Canuhearme

The accruing dream I always have, that for personal reasons I cant make amends too. My first love and my Grandmother. All other dreams that I had in the past, the ones I made f2f amends too I don’t have any more.

The night before I had a dream with my Grandmother. She squeal on me to my father because I borrowed my fathers hot rod with out his permission. The dreams I have with my Grandma, she always catching me doing something wrong. I was looking at the national hot rod association finals on TV that day.

Last night was an exception. I haven’t had one of these in over three years. A drinking of alcohol dream. Yes a women was evolved. It was in some café, I had a sip of her beer and then the waiter came over with a long lean bottle of vodka. And pour some into a glass. And with a smile on my face, down it went. Do you know what that dream says to me. Be very vigilant with my recovery and stop looking at chemicals with alcohol in them.

Today I went food shopping. I had a list because am on a strict budget. I started on one side of the store. Over and over I hear the dam recording for shell steaks that are on sale. I finish shopping, I get on line, I start to putting my groceries on the counter when I grab a pack of shell steaks that was not on my list. Get my point. Unconscious part of my mind the mental activity not directly perceived by the consciousness, from which memories, feelings, or thoughts can influence behavior without realization of it. So my thoughts through the day can influence my dreams at night. I hope this help.

Ivan

[canuhearme]

Originally Posted by chiynita

Have you ever had dreams like using dreams but you hold onto your recovery in them. Like its everywhere and you actually turn it away.

I haven't, mine are always after or before, but in the dream it seems like I knew I did it or was about to do it even though I don't recall that part of the dream at all.
Here is the bad part, In the dream that I was about to get high in, I knew I was not supposed to but I still was about to do it, then I woke up.
BUT RECOVERY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. I feel like it's my gut telling me make sure you keep this FAR FAR away!

Originally Posted by hopefully tryin

hey everyone, I will be 2 weeks clean tomorrow

Congrats on the 2 weeks!!!

Originally Posted by Timebuster

So my thoughts through the day can influence my dreams at night.

Yeah, I think so too, I was spending a lot of time worried about my husband using and how I would deal with it? I still haven't had a dream since he and I talked about it.

[Impurrfect]

I'm glad the dreams have subsided. I do think that our subconscious works in our dreams. I haven't had a using dream in a while, but the last "drug" dream I had I was running like crazy AWAY from people who were doing crack, screaming "I am NOT going back to jail!"

I've also had other dreams about being closed to being locked up. I still have some tickets I need to take care of, but am trying to get enough money so they won't put me on another probation. Apparently, though, it's worked it's way into my subconscious. I wake up tired, because I've been running all night!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy