Norco Addiction

[scotts]

Hey, you all. I am 29 years old, been addicted to Norco (hydrocodone) for 2.5 years. I want the addiction to end here. I,on average take 18-25 pills a day and am fearfull what all of this apap is doing to my body. I also made quite an ass out of myself while high, and I regret that.

I have 6 pills left and am doing a quick taper with those pills and tramadol. I will be completely on trams by Friday.

The scariest thing right now is that I have a public speaking obligation tomorrow night and not enough pills to "get me through it". In reality I will get through it and be just fine..but sure is scary. I am not looking forward to WD's if I have them at all. Last time I came off the hydro I surprisingly had no Wd's, the previous time they were hell. Russian roulette I guess.

I guess I am just looking for advice and words of encouragement. I want to be done with this stuff. I dont like myself anymore. I have lost my confidence. On the postive,my business is doing vey well and I have a great wife and 2 small toddlers to keep me sane

[windysan]

Originally Posted by scotts

Hey, you all. I am 29 years old, been addicted to Norco (hydrocodone) for 2.5 years. I want the addiction to end here. I,on average take 18-25 pills a day and am fearfull what all of this apap is doing to my body. I also made quite an ass out of myself while high, and I regret that.

I have 6 pills left and am doing a quick taper with those pills and tramadol. I will be completely on trams by Friday.

The scariest thing right now is that I have a public speaking obligation tomorrow night and not enough pills to "get me through it". In reality I will get through it and be just fine..but sure is scary. I am not looking forward to WD's if I have them at all. Last time I came off the hydro I surprisingly had no Wd's, the previous time they were hell. Russian roulette I guess.

I guess I am just looking for advice and words of encouragement. I want to be done with this stuff. I dont like myself anymore. I have lost my confidence. On the postive,my business is doing vey well and I have a great wife and 2 small toddlers to keep me sane

you'll prolly do okay at the speaking thing. i was in your shoes 5 years ago. you'll be so much happier when you are done with that krap. it ain't easy and if it wasn't for my wife/kids i never would've made it. keep in mind that if you can't do it alone then get some help. detox/rehab is always an option....and yes, i had/have my own business.

[Jane63]

Welcome scotts,
That is great you have decided to quit now before it gets anymore out of hand! Plus you have two young children to care for and I can't think of anything more important than that as a reason to get it together!

IMO, I would do whatever you need to do to get passed the public speaking obligation and then begin your taper off the Norco or possibly go cold turkey all together...whatever works best for you! But I would not replace one bad habit with another which is what you'll be doing with the Tramadol!

Can you take a few days off after the speaking obligation? Possibly work from home? That would be your best course of action if you can do it!
Remember to get your rest (LOTS!), drink LOTS of water/fluids, eat several small (healthy) meals a day and the worst should be over in about 3-4 days.
That is usually the "easy" part...You will have to find a way to stay in recovery after that.

Best of luck to you! Anything is possible if we want it bad enough!!
Jane

[scotts]

Thank you both for your replies. I agree on the tramadol. I plan on taking it for a week max. I get no buzz from it so I dont see a reason to keep taking it after I feel better. I will be very cautious though. Thanks. Keep the replies coming. I need support.

[windysan]

if the wd's get bad then remember them for future reference.

stay hydrated, try to eat something.

[Jane63]

Why not try Ibuprofen instead? Don't quote me on this, but you can safely take up to 800-mg. (4-200-mg pills) of Ibuprofen for pain relief. It's cheaper and non-addictive!!
Best wishes!
Jane

[serenityqueen]

Glad you found us Scotts!

Regarding the speaking engagement . . . try not to focus too much on that, you don't need any extra anxiety right now. You have enough already trying to get off this crap. I also had a love affair with the hydrocodone however mine came as close to a fatal attraction without actually being physically dead. I was spiritually, mentally and emotionally dead when I surrendered close to 3 years ago.

You mentioned the business, wife and two little ones . . . I think you know that if you keep using you run a pretty good risk of losing everything. When we're actively using, it doesn't get any better, only worse.

The key to Recovery, for me, was to surrender. I had to be willing to go to any length to get off the pills and into Recovery. I fought it for 25 years, trying to do things my way . . . look where my way got me. My life was unmanageable. . . I was out of control.

There are several things that will more than likely be of benefit to you. First of all, NA . . . millions of people around the world have found a new life, drug free through NA. Also, you could look into some outpatient therapy. Open up the good ol Yellow Pages under either drugs or alcohol and wala!

I hope you'll stick around, keep reading and posting. It is possible to get off the drugs and live a happy and productive life.

God Bless,
Judy

[scotts]

Jane, because tramadol prevents full blown wd's due to it being a synthetic opiate. ibuprofen will not help that. It will help my back pain...I have a hernated disc nerve probs. I plan on using tram for a week, seeinghow I feel, if good then be done, if bad then use loperamide (diareah medication) because it is an opiate as well and will bind to opiate receptors and hopefully ease wd's if thy are still present.

I have to work Friday..After that I have 2 days off. I am hoping to be back to the office Monday feeling "bad" instead of "suicidally horrible"

[scotts]

Judy, thank you so much.

[Jane63]

Scott...Ok, I see why you think the Tramadol will be best, but please be careful! Ever thought of seeing an Addictionologist since you have pain issues? There are lots of ways to help with chronic pain and many non-addictive choices in meds to take.

I am glad you have the wknd off! Try to think positive!
Best wishes and keep posting!
Jane

[scotts]

My big problem wil be making it through WD's of course and knowing that I have 2 refills coming up for the next 2 months. I have to develop great strength.

How do you guys combat the extreme blahs or bordom that comes after getting better? Last time that is what sent me back into the game. I got bored and thought "this time I'll be different and just take 1-2 a day and binge on weekends and not have to NEED them...Wrong was I.

Thanks for the support,you all are great. How did you guys get rid of your addictions? I refuse to go to rehab or tell my DR because once you do you are not able to get life insurance. need to get quite bit more life insurance here this year and I know for a fact every company turns you down after looking at your MIB report IF you have addiction in your past.

I also have a fondness for jumping out of planes..Cant let the insurance Co's find that out! lol

[windysan]

you can always pay cash for rehab if you got it.

kicking is tough business. you gotta be tougher.

[scotts]

Im craving a pill right now. Can anyone give some words of wisdom? Im tyring my best to space these sons o bishes out. lol Im not in withdraws cuz I took 2 pills ths morning and 2 tramadols,but am craving like mad.

[Lily]

I didn't know that about life insurance, makes sense though.

I had to stay clean for a stretch for the bordem to get better. Now I can clean, organize, entertain in my home and be a nice non yelling mom. I have been clean for 4 1/2 months from opiates, vicodin and norcos.

You can do this Scott, you just have to commit. You have to make it a priority. Find some meetings, meet other ppl just like you, and get a sponsor.

About those cravings? One thing I have learned in recovery is how we as addicts always want to full-fill that self gratification part of us, put it off..... As my husband would say, "buffet your body and make it your slave."

Blessings and welcome! Sheila

[scotts]

Thanks for the encouragement Shiela! I am so weak right now, not physically,but mentally. I am angry as hell for no real reason other than I have to give a damn speech tomorrow night.

I also wanting a pill bad! today has been a LON day with only 2 hydros so far. I need to conserve the few I have left so I can speak tomorrow night with confidence..Then meetings all day Friday..then homefree for the weekend where I can sleep and WD in peace. God, I hate myself.

[butterfly19]

scotts,

You remind me of myself so much. Norco's were always my fave as well. I tried the trick with tramadol but it never really worked. But that doesn't mean it won't work for you! Just be careful with it and please don't take it in as high of a dose as you did the norco because it can give you some very funky side effects. I know this from personal experience with it.

Currently, I'm on suboxone and it helps quite a bit with the withdrawal symptoms. Mental cravings are the roughest, and I finally surrendered to the fact that in order to get past that part I would have to see a therapist and get help with my issues.

I can totally understand your fear of going to rehab. I had a huge fear of it myself because I work in the medical field. Just imagine, how hard it is going to be for me to be able to get a job in medicine again when they find out I've been in rehab. I finally had to give up that fear b/c I got to a point where I could not do it on my own. I had to surrender that fear and accept the help that is available. Otherwise, not only would I lose my medical license, I could lose my LIFE. With you having a wonderful family, think hard about this.

As far as you having those refills available. Cancel them. As long as they are there, it's going to be in your mind that you can get them. And believe me, you're about to go through something that is not going to make you think clearly. The only thing you'll be able to think is "I have a refill. I have a refill." Dangerous thinking!!!!

I suggest that you do look into outpatient rehab. It has saved many lives. You can pay out of pocket like me. It does get expensive, but the long-term benefits will be worth it! Best of luck to you! Keep posting. You're doing a great job!!!!

butterfly19

[scotts]

Butterfly, thank you so much. I went into hardcore wd's tonight and caved in and took 3 of the 5 I have left. So I have 2 for tomorrow... Still the drop from 25 down to 4 today I feel pretty good considering that large of a drop off.

Please keep in touch. I am going to need all the support I can get. I cant tell my wife. We went through this before and she melted down and hasnt trusted me since. She has a problem with hating sick people. lol Honestly, if I get the flu or a cold and admit it to her she treats me like a piece of Sh*t..it was how she was raised. So if I dropped this bomb on her she would flip. I dont mean to make her sound bad, she is wonderful in every other area, just intollerant of the sick.

PS, in my above post, I meant to say "LONG DAY",but left off the G. Im kind of anal. lol

[Tryin2Recover]

scotts, welcome to SR. You sound like an addict. Stop fooling yourself, tramadol wont save you from WDs its mechanism on your brain is quite different from standard opiates. Oh and loperamide, lol. That stuff cant cross the blood brain barrier and thus wont even bind to any receptors except the few in your stomach walls. You might want to consider figuring out a new plan of action, and I would consider honestly starting with honesty. Maybe you need to tell your wife. Check out an AA/NA meeting, go to a counselor, and for god sake tell your doctor/pharmacist you are an addict and get those refills canceled, if you have any honest intentions of getting clean. Good luck to you.

[Impurrfect]

(((Scotts)))

I'm a recovering crack addict, although I abused opiates for a while. I'm also an RN, but no longer have my license because of my addiction (trying to get it back).

If I AM able to get my license back, part of my "probation" with them is that I have to tell every doctor/dentist that treats me of my addiction. Even though I'm a long way from even dealing with the board of nursing, I started doing that anyway. I told my dr. because I don't want him to give me pain meds unless they are an absolute necessity. Same thing with my dentist. I have health insurance through work and they don't know anything about my addiction.

We have rehabs, here in Atlanta, that are specifically for people in the medical field, and I know way too many recovering addicts who are professionals to believe they have all had a problem with insurance. In fact, if I had chosen rehab, instead of my decent into crack, I would still have my nursing license.

Please think about rehab. If you continue on with the norcos, you will eventually not have a job or a wife to worry about because you will probably lose them. It may not happen right away, but most of us who are in recovery lost a LOT before we chose to get clean.

As far as cravings...studies prove they usually only last about 7 minutes. It seems like 7 YEARS but try to distract yourself. Each time you get through a craving and don't use, you get a little stronger.

And as far as refills....that's way too easy to give in to. My stepsister finally called her pharmacists (she had a few) and cancelled all her refills and flagged her chart that she was not to be prescribed her DOC. It wasn't easy, but she didn't want to get weak and get them refilled.

I'm glad you're here...keep reading and posting!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[scotts]

Originally Posted by Tryin2Recover

scotts, welcome to SR. You sound like an addict. Stop fooling yourself, tramadol wont save you from WDs its mechanism on your brain is quite different from standard opiates. Oh and loperamide, lol. That stuff cant cross the blood brain barrier and thus wont even bind to any receptors except the few in your stomach walls. You might want to consider figuring out a new plan of action, and I would consider honestly starting with honesty. Maybe you need to tell your wife. Check out an AA/NA meeting, go to a counselor, and for god sake tell your doctor/pharmacist you are an addict and get those refills canceled, if you have any honest intentions of getting clean. Good luck to you.

Thanks for your intention here. I know from experience that trams help WD. I also know from research and experience that loperamide does as well. Please dont post on my thread and post "LOL" or negativity. Perhaps tramadol didnt work and it was just my mind (power of wishful thinking)...Why would you ruin that for someone?

I know you inteded to be helpful. So thanks for trying. I need compassion now, not LOLS

[scotts]

This morning I woke up in full on WD's. Had the skin crawling, legs felt like kicking all over. I got up and took 2 tramadols and still felt like crap for 2 hours then WD's are gone. SO for now doing well. I plan on taking half a pill (hydrocodone) an hour prior to my speech (6:00 pm tonight) and that will be it for today. I will keep you updated. Thanks for your assistance through this.

[scotts]

Anybody know the best way to find an outpatient treatment program? I looked up NA in my area and there are like 10 different types of meetings. I would prefer just a sit in a circle and talk meeting. Does that have a specific name?

[windysan]

Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous is where meetings usually happen. You can run a city/state search on their websites. I tried outpatient too but I wasn't able to get better until I did my 28 on the inside. It ain't the end of the world if you go inpatient. Your body and mind are completely worn out from the crap you've put in it. You need the rest.

[scotts]

Thanks Windy. I am feeling pretty good right now. I have taken 1 norco today so far and feel fine. Believe it or not that is a HUGe improvement for me. I have one pill left. I will probably take that before my speech.

Tramadol works pretty well for opiate withdraws you guys. I am going to come off of that next week by Friday, taking less every day.

Thanks for the support. You all are very kind.