16 year old, opiate addict, im new here

[inexwicked]

Hey there, Im new to the site, First off i would like to start by listing in chronological order the substances i have used/abused.

Alchohal
Aderall (Not prescribed)
Marijuana
Mushrooms
Codeine (Not prescribed)
Vicodin (Not prescribed)
Torbutrol (Animal painkiller)
Cyclobenzaprine (Muscle relaxant)

Within the past few moths i have become (or at least i think) addicted to opiate pain killers. I first started off by looking for a new way to "get high" seeing as i ran out of money to purchase marijuana and i live far away from my friends. I began my search within the medicine cabinet at home, to my luck (at the time) i found codeine prescribed to my older sister years ago. They were 50mg with 300mg acetaminophen. I began by taking 4-5 pills at a time, (i carefully researched online all drugs i took before hand). I would lay down in my basement all home alone bored out of my mind and just listen to relaxing music while the drugs took over. I LOVED the feeling, i started taking them every day before school and i noticed i became MUCH more socially active and talkative as well as i started participating more in class's. I began talking with other drug users and found out that there were others like myself, but yet willing to pay for these drugs. I sold a girl a large bottle of liquid hydrocodone and 10 500mg hydrocodone for $140.00! That was just the beginning of my abuse. I began to use the drugs as an emotional release, i would have troubles with my girlfriend and just down some vicodin and codeine and let all my troubles slip away for a few hours.

I soon ran out of pain killers and thoroughly searched my house only to find more pain killers hidden by my sister in her room (she is a registered nurse, working on her nurse practitioners masters degree). I found a full bottle of hydrocodone and codeine. About a month later, here i am.

Over the past weekend I had partied with a whole bunch of my friends and pretty much 30-40 other people. There were a few other "pill poppers" than myself and we started downing pills.

Apparently i went a little too far

Oral- 30mg Benadryl (to increase and purify the effects of vicodin and other opiates)
Oral-500mg Vicodin
Snorted- 500mg Vicodin
Snorted- 300mg Codeine
Snorted- 4mg Torbutrol (animal pain killer)
Snorted- 20mg Cyclobenzaprine (horribly burned)
Oral- 10mg Cyclobenzaprine
Drank- 3 glasses of Red UV mixed with lemonade (In between other drugs)
Smoked- 6 bowls of marijuana (in between other drugs)

these were all taken within a period of 5hrs mostly within 2-3 hours


Needless to say, i was ****** up out of my mind. I was the guy at the party who everyone was laughing at or severely concerned about. This was NEVER me... The next morning i woke up and my heart hurt, HURT really bad. I knew i had crossed the line, i could hear my friends up stairs talking about how ****** up i was the night before. I stumbled up stairs and simply said "Never again".

Two days after the party and im sitting here still with spouts of heart pain and done DONE with all the drugs. I ache horribly bad and i think this is what people call "withdrawal symptoms". If this is what i have to go through to be opiate free or drug free then so be it. I have learned my lesson. I was hoping some of the other people on this forum could give me some advice while i try to stop abusing these drugs?

Also: Here is a drug experience i had, i was reading opiate experiences on here a few weeks ago and i thought i might throw this one in, this is one i recorded about a month ago.


One 5mg Torbutrol (animal painkiller, took 1hr previous to Vicodin and Codeine)

Two table spoons of promethazine w/codeine syrup (Prescribed to take one to two teaspoons)

One 500mg Vicodin

Two 50mg Codeine w/ 300mg acetametaphin



Took: 5mg Torbutrol at approx 6:45pm

Took: 500mg Vicodin, 50mg Codeine w/300mg acetaminophen at approx 7:45.



7:55- Swollen stomach feelings, most likely from somewhat large amount of water I drank. I am also feeling a small amount of swelling in my brain, not sure if this is because of any of the drugs or not.



8:00- Feeling a slight rush to the brain, heart seems to be beating stronger and a little faster, limbs starting to feel a bit flushed/numb



8:05-The sensations of a large rush to the brain are occurring right now, I think this is a mix of all the drugs being absorbed through the lining of my stomach. If its this powerful now I can only imagine what its going to be like when it gets absorbed from my intestines. Feeling of light headedness and a moderate buzz are occurring. I feel very relaxed.



8:10- Very strong feelings of light headedness heart rate increasing, limbs are feeling heavy and light all at the same time. The intensity of the drugs seem to be kicking in. I believe the “body buzz” is coming soon.



8:15 - Dizzy very dizzy, standing up I almost fell over, the full body buzz has taken over my upper body, I am wearing shorts my legs are a little cold.



8:20- Brain feels dizzy but yet swollen almost, I feel itchy from the codeine, I also have to urinate quite badly and I think that might be diluting some of the effects I could be experiencing. Urinating break…im back now, walking was quite a challenge for me ironically enough. I feel like I am having an “out of body” experience, its like a numbing feeling all over my body. I am only 25min into taking the drugs now and I am expecting much more intense feelings.



8:25 -****! Im so damn itchy, this is kinda stupid, god damn codeine. It doesn’t help that I have abnormally longer hair than I normally do. My palms are starting to sweat, this could be because the “stressor” in my life that is causing me to take the drugs has recently come to my attention. Feeling extremely buzzed hands are very slightly shaking, my typing has slowed down. I feel extremely calm.



8:30-Very intense feelings of disorientation, cant seem to think 100% clearly, limbs are starting to feel quite heavy, thought seems to be getting tighter. Heart rate increasing…



8:35- Warm feeling all over body, except in hands and toes, which are moist and clammy. Mind feels almost cloudy. Head feels heavy…I can almost feel my heartbeat in every part of my body, mouth seems to be drying out.



8:40: Abdomen feels tight, when I stand up I get very light headed no matter how long I keep standing im still light headed, feeling of nauseous ness was very slightly prevalent.



8:45- Symptoms seem to be leveling off, im going to lay down now and see if I can get a better analysis of them.



8:50-

[serenityqueen]

Yeph, the picture is big, but I want you to seriously look at what it says. For God's sakes, please stop playing Russian Roulette!

I certainly hope everyone who replies to this thread will add their two cents worth in on what drug addiction has cost them.

I started using when I was 11 to numb some news I had just gotten. Yeah, I loved the numb feeling but I also wanted to be in the "cool crowd" or whatever it's refered to today. Over the next 32 years, I have lost so much including: my will to live. . . two trips to prison . . . my credit history is just that, history. I can never get a car loan, any kind of loan. My license has been suspended for the past 13 years, due to a felony conviction I will never be able to get a job that does background checks, which now a days are most of them not to mention no one in my Family trusting me. Oh, and by the way,my little sister died from this disease when she was only 26 years old. No one is ever too young.

Please, stop now. I hope this did scare you to death. But you do need to go to a doctor asap if you are having chest pains and heart racing. Drugs are nothing to play with.

God Bless,
Judy

[ksos]

I would call 911 right now--if this is what is happening in "real time"

You are 16 years old and are having heart pains?

I cannot even offer any help other than to call '911 and go to the hospital.

You are on a one way course to death.

[tw33k]

glad you found us. i hope you are serious about quitting because, if not, you are on the road to a nightmare of an existance. you still have your whole ahead of you and if get this sorted you can accomplish anything. read some of the other threads here and you'll see that there a lot of people who totally understand what you're going through and are here to support you.
you have many options available to kick this and i hope that which ever one you choose is successful. keep in touch and i wish you all the best. i wish i realised i had a problem at your age. woulda saved me a lifetime of misery...

[Tryin2Recover]

Listen man, and no offense to you, but this is a recovery site. We dont want to hear about your hour by hour drug experience. Stay off erowid, I can tell you think you are full of knowledge from 'teaching yourself' stuff on the internet, but I can assure you that you are on a path towards living hell or death. I got into vicodin and opiates around your age and within a few years my disease had progressed to oxycontin and eventually heroin, and I was living hell. If you want to seek help I suggest you keep posting here, ask us questions about drugs instead of reading on erowid the effects of how things get you high, we can teach you the effects of how drugs WILL inevitably ruin your life. Good luck.

[ksos]

Talk about what we put our parents or guardians through back in the day when we were out there, huh? I cannot believe what I have read regarding the garbage you are throwing in your body! Stop it now before you really won't have any sensations to write down.

I am so scared for this young man who, in my opinion, needs to be hospitalized now, that is, if he is still breathing. Think about your parents or whoever takes care of you. Do not kill yourself. You would be hurting every person who loves you. How about your girlfriend? If you love her, you'll call '911 right now and stop this insanity.

Please let us know if you are physically okay? All I am thinking about is that this could be my 16 year old daughter.

If you happen to wake up from what you have done, read what some people here have done to themselves and to others. I only wish you would call someone to help you stop harming yourself...

I do not know you but I know how I would feel if you were my child and you did this to me. I would never, ever be able to live with myself. Ever again.

Ksos

[ksos]

I reacted as if the original poster was experiencing what he was doing in real time. I had failed to notice that in my original reading of the lytany of "feelings"....

I am indebted to the astute member who alerted me to this.

To the 16 year old poster:

You really need to get into a rehab and also your sister, who is gunning for her Nurse Practitioner license, should be reminded that she can have her RN licensure suspended and even revoked due to what seems to be her own opiate addiction. In terms of her ever getting prescriptive powers, I will leave that alone. Your entire situation seems critical and I hope that there is a RESPONSIBLE ADULT somewhere in your family.

[inexwicked]

Originally Posted by Tryin2Recover

Listen man, and no offense to you, but this is a recovery site. We dont want to hear about your hour by hour drug experience. Stay off erowid, I can tell you think you are full of knowledge from 'teaching yourself' stuff on the internet, but I can assure you that you are on a path towards living hell or death. I got into vicodin and opiates around your age and within a few years my disease had progressed to oxycontin and eventually heroin, and I was living hell. If you want to seek help I suggest you keep posting here, ask us questions about drugs instead of reading on erowid the effects of how things get you high, we can teach you the effects of how drugs WILL inevitably ruin your life. Good luck.

Dicks like that are who keep me from sites like these, but thanks to all the actually nice people and understanding people on this site they keep me here for more advice, I wanted to post actual things that i have done so that people wouldn't think im just joking around or something...

I spoke with my dad and i asked him to take me to the hospital because i currently (like right now) am feeling heart pains. He plans on taking me tomorrow asap. If it wasn't for this site and the peoples stories i most likely would still be abusing drugs. There are SO many of you guys who have such inspirational stories to tell and great advice. The prescriptions to my sister were from years ago, i do not believe she is abusing drugs because her prescriptions were nearly full and were from 2005, also she would have noticed already and have came to me screaming, lol. Thank you guys so much for the help, it has really helped me gain more inspiration and drive to continue my "fight" or end this way of life.

My friends checked on me throughout the night and said that i was sweating a lot and that i wouldn't wake up even when they were hitting me. Some of them said i might have had a heart attack while i was asleep. I think this is very doubtful seeing as i most likely would have woken up. Although i am not that educated on cardiac arrest or acute cardiac arrest, exp. while asleep. If anyone is a nurse or doctor and can help me that would help A LOT.

[ex D-Boy]

Originally Posted by Tryin2Recover

Listen man, and no offense to you, but this is a recovery site. We dont want to hear about your hour by hour drug experience. Stay off erowid, I can tell you think you are full of knowledge from 'teaching yourself' stuff on the internet,.

I was just about to comment that his post reminded me of reading something on erowid under the First Time experience sections.

[tw33k]

go and seek medical treatment ASAP! stop fu$%ing around and do SOMETHING positive

[ksos]

I am very happy that you are alive, and I was scared, to be honest with you. The best thing I have heard from you is that you are going to the hospital to check your heart out. I would only hope that you may come clean about the other stuff so you dad can help you get into a detox or a medically supervised situation so you can be evaluated by a medical professional...

PS: It is against this forum's policy for members to suggest or offer medical advice, even though there are medical staff on this board. We can only encourage you to "do the right thing...Please help yourself.

[Impurrfect]

Okay....as a recovering nurse, yes, you could have had a heart attack. When a young patient walked in my ER and said he/she was having chest pain, the first thing we asked was if they were using any drugs. Cocaine is the worst one at causing heart attacks, but others can. Not to mention that all those opiates will cause what is called "respiratory depression" which is a fancy way of saying that you stop breathing, or don't breathe enough....direct result....heart attack and death. Even if you don't have a heart attack, if you don't get enough oxygen to your brain, there will be brain damage.

I do hope you get to a doctor, and PLEASE be honest. They will not turn you into the law...they simply need to know exactly what and how much you have taken to be able to treat you. Lots of meds have a tylenol base, and that can cause severe damage to the liver.

I hope you keep posting here. I don't have my nursing license any more because of my addiction to crack. There are a lot of us here that have lost a lot due to our addictions. You're young and you can avoid a lot of what we've lost by getting into recovery.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[windysan]

get help before you die

[bvaljalo]

Wow ... you sure can get really high off an awfully small amount of drugs.

BTW, there's no such thing as a 500mg vicodin. What you must mean is a 5/500, which means 5mg Hydrocodone, 500mg Tylenol. And you SNORT that sh*t? A whole extra strength tylenol, just to get a piddly little 5mg of hydrocodone into your blood a tiny bit faster? You talk like you are so knowledgeable from all your research, but you don't seem to have that good a grip on how and what you're taking. Snorting vicodin has got to worst possible way to take it.

So ... you were having this out of body experience (practically) on basically two codeines and two regular-strength vicodin, with a little cough syrup? Lucky you. By the time I was at my worst with my addiction ... and where YOU may very well end up yourself ... I could've easily taken 10 times that amount just to get out of bed in the morning, and regularly did 40 times that amount over the course of a day just to feel decent.

My best advice to you is to quit now, before this situation gets worse. Can it can get MUCH MUCH worse my friend. I would tell my parents what's going on if I were you. Sounds dumb, I know, but they are your best hope right now for helping you avoid a life of pain and misery.

Good luck, and keep posting. And if I were you I wouldn't call anyone here a 'dick' again just because they tell you something you don't wanna hear, otherwise you're gonna get banned right quick.

[Tryin2Recover]

Originally Posted by inexwicked

Dicks like that are who keep me from sites like these, but thanks to all the actually nice people and understanding people on this site they keep me here for more advice, I wanted to post actual things that i have done so that people wouldn't think im just joking around or something...

I spoke with my dad and i asked him to take me to the hospital because i currently (like right now) am feeling heart pains. He plans on taking me tomorrow asap. If it wasn't for this site and the peoples stories i most likely would still be abusing drugs. There are SO many of you guys who have such inspirational stories to tell and great advice. The prescriptions to my sister were from years ago, i do not believe she is abusing drugs because her prescriptions were nearly full and were from 2005, also she would have noticed already and have came to me screaming, lol. Thank you guys so much for the help, it has really helped me gain more inspiration and drive to continue my "fight" or end this way of life.

My friends checked on me throughout the night and said that i was sweating a lot and that i wouldn't wake up even when they were hitting me. Some of them said i might have had a heart attack while i was asleep. I think this is very doubtful seeing as i most likely would have woken up. Although i am not that educated on cardiac arrest or acute cardiac arrest, exp. while asleep. If anyone is a nurse or doctor and can help me that would help A LOT.

Maybe you misinterpreted my post, or just didnt want to hear what I had to say. What I meant is this is a recovery board, this isnt a site for you to post a minute by minute experience of how you got high and the euphoria etc you felt every couple minutes. This is not erowid, nobody here wants to hear that and infact it could negatively effect someones recovery by adding unneeded triggers by someone here trying to seek serenity. And like Bval said you seem to think you know a lot about drugs, but really kid you dont know jack and if you dont change your ways now things will only get wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy worse.

[windysan]

you wanna be a miserable junkie who kraps and pees himself and vomits and passes out and gets taken advantage of and who gets beat up and who loses all his family and who looks like one of the zombies from that movie "28 Days Later" and who will prolly get hepatitus C and quite possibly AIDS and who can't get an erection cuz the dope has numbed out his wee wee and sex plays 2nd fiddle to dope and then you run out of dope and money and then nobody is there to take care of you and then you die a horrible death....alone, miserable, and in pain?

man, that sure is cool. i wanna be a strungout sick junkie when i grow up.

[ex D-Boy]

stop glamorizing drug use so much windy, your triggering me to go back out there!!!!
:rof

[Jimmy123]

Some people have sent some really insulting replies- so here's another. Just Kidding look you say you think you are drug addict, I can give you a short and simple way to find out
1. try to quit on your own
2. if you can't do #1 got to NA because you are an addict.
Be careful though despite what pricks like bvaljalo wrote you should know painkillers are very addictive and it's the stuff it's cut with like Tylenol that could kill especially when you r drinking
Get help and remember to be thankful you learned a lesson when you are still young and your body will bounce right back

[Done-With-It]

Hey Inexwicked

How is it going? Did you make it to the hospital? I hope you are doing okay.
Let us know how you are..

[Brewster]

Originally Posted by bvaljalo

Wow ... you sure can get really high off an awfully small amount of drugs.

+

Good luck, and keep posting. And if I were you I wouldn't call anyone here a 'dick' again just because they tell you something you don't wanna hear, otherwise you're gonna get banned right quick.

Right now I am doing a lot of lurking. Everything is well - I don't feel like I've much to add at the moment. Got the "just past the two year mark" effects I'm coping with (more on that later - no relapse or nothing).

Nonetheless, I love to read the board and everyone's threads and posts. Couldn't get by without the lot of you. This is the only board I feel true sisterhood and brotherhood with.

But I gotta tell ya, when I need a bottom line on a thread it's "search for the bvaljalo post".

That's when I've got no more than 36 seconds or so to read Windy's exceptional "spare and to the point" posts. Windy no lie, you are a fount of information in few words. A talent not posessed by the many. Heck, learn Chinese and world will be your oyster.

[tryingsohard423]

hey kido,
I read your post and just wanted to say a few things. #1 I was very much an addict and already in N.A. by the age of thirteen. I did pretty good for years just smoking weed and drinking but then I broke my back almost four years ago and have been on some pretty hard core opiates ever since. So I guess It just kinda hit home when i read what you posted. Im glad to hear that your trying to get clean, and let me say that if you are able to sit and type during your withdrawals your doing pretty freaking good. Me, I cant even stand up, just laying on the bathroom floor covered in what ever praying for death! Its also pretty rare that some one your age is able to realize that you have a problem let alone take any steps Towards fixing it, I mean im in my twenties and I cant seem to get the strength to stop completely! I am doing better than I ever have right, but Im so scared I cant even believe it! Btw I thought torbutrol was like methadone, that if you took it no other opiates would work, like an antagonist? (I have a weiner dog that a husky ate a year ago that the vet gave that to and thats what the vet told me! Just thought I'd ask since you seem to know more about it than I do.
Your doing great btw, Hope all is well tryingsohard423