I've found myself here...again

[SlvrMag]

Some of you know me as MissT-Mag, but I could not remember my password, and my email address I used for here so I figured I would just start fresh

I found this forum a few months ago, I felt pretty comfortable here thanks to Done-With-It and a couple others, but I drifted away from here for a little while. I'm at a point in my life (again) where I need to make a decision but I need to understand why I WANT to get high even though my family is in danger of falling apart.

I'll go into things in more detail later, in a different thread. Thanks for reading my long re-introduction!

[sweetpea40]

I am so glad you made it back...There are a lot of wonderful people on here (as I am sure you are aware of) that can help you!
God Bless and will be praying for you,
Machele

[SlvrMag]

Thank you very much.

[Sugah]

The way it worked for me, first, I followed through with my desire to be clean, got clean, and then began to understand why I lived that way in the first place. I think the need to understand addiction trips a lot of people up -- because it's near impossible to reason in an honest way while still using. It took some blind faith for me in the beginning, but that's turned into real faith through the process.

Have you been to a meeting?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[butterflylover]

Hi and welcome back! This is a great supportive site. I wish ya the best!

~B~

[ccgirl2]

Welcome back. I hope it helps.

[hairgirl]

Welcome Back, and stick around this time.

[Lily]

Welcome back! you can do it! just keep posting and reading. Sheila

[SlvrMag]

Originally Posted by Sugah

The way it worked for me, first, I followed through with my desire to be clean, got clean, and then began to understand why I lived that way in the first place.
Have you been to a meeting?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

See thats the problem....I have to WANT to get clean! About 80% of me does want to, but then theres the rest...

I think I need to start from the beginning and tell my story (which forum would I do that in BTW?) but at this moment I am making dinner for the kids and I can't even finish this paragraph without interruptions! Tonight when they are asleep I will do that.

I have been to a couple of meetings, not recently. Sometimes I feel like NA meetings are full of the people I used to get high with. Most are there because of probation, not because they want to be.

A friend and I had a conversation where we were daydreaming about going to a different state, finding a good connect, and making lotsa money (yeah, right). We figured the best place to find one was at NA meetings. How sad!

Well, thanks to all of you for being there, it means alot. I will be back later.