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|03-06-2008, 12:53 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2008
My brain will have no more of this retreat into unconsciousness
I strugle to wake myself from a self induced coma. My eyelids put up a fight. i am coming up from a 2 day hibernation, a fu*king dive into oblivion,during which i arose infrequently to urinate and calm the pain in my belly from lack of nutrition.Today my brain will have no more of this retreat into unconsciousness. My mind with its compulsions and obsessions,forces me to climb out of my deathbed and reacclamate myself to daily life. i have by fuzzy estimation been awake for 8 days straight before crashing for 2 "there will be time enough to sleep when i die" which at this rate could be any day now! i wish i could tell myself that everytime i choose to smoke meth , i was transported to a mythical land where nonstop fu**ing,beautiful girls,and obsessed guitar training were the norm. i wish i could believe that,but i would be lying. For every night spent in exstasy ,there were hundreds of nights spent watching mind numbing activities performed by people i despaired to call friends. Do i give a sh*t now? will i stop forever? i dont know. "The Rush" "The Sex" "the constant reminder that my ex fiance is a wh*re. Thrawling with the urgency most people reserve for breathing!....Fu*k.....IM fu*ked! but im here and thats a start i think (i hope)... i know why i started using just dont know how to stop, and then confront my feelings or issues of Sorrow,Loss,Trajedy,Resentment...Can someone Please help me with advice or techniques, or Anything dont think i can last much longer
|03-06-2008, 05:20 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
You are in deep trouble, and need help.
Have you considered going to a hospital for help? And then, to a program, like NA?
You need immediate face to face help. IMMEDIATE.
Your life is in danger.
Please don't hesitate. Call 911 if you have to but get help right away.
|03-06-2008, 05:46 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2006
Blog Entries: 10
Pick up the phone and call NA in your town or city
Someone will most likely give you a ride there and back. I once had a heavy sh*t addiction but Im clean of that drug for 2 years now and clean of everything else for
The meetings help with addiction and there are lots of people there to support you.
Give them a call right now, pick up the phone....K?
|03-06-2008, 08:00 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Hi Many Ways, I'm glad you have taken the first step of saying my life is a mess, I am really messed up and I need help...That's huge, letting go of pretending that the using life is good.
I'd encourage you to take the next step and let someone in the noncyber world know you'd like help too...A recovering addict at a meeting; calling a treatment center; confiding in a close and caring friend or family member; walking into an ER or if necessary calling 911. There really is hope...all you have to do is reach out and say you are sick of living like this. No one can do that for you, so I hope you will care about yourself enough to do that. Once that action is taken, the help offered to you will help you find a much better life. Hugs...Keep posting
Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith - Margaret Shepherd
|03-06-2008, 08:16 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Forward we go...side by side
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Good to see you here
When I decided to live sober
it was necessary to take ACTION.
Do you have a plan?
Please come back and let us know
how you are doing. You are not alone.
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!
|03-07-2008, 11:20 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2005
Former tweeker...clean now for over 6 years from meth.
When you're sick & tired of being sick & tired...look into NA or treatment if you've got the resources.
It's not easy to get off of the crap, but it can be done.
There's no gram like the program
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