Cocaine Addiction Battle

[catecicc]

Normally I post in friends and family, but I am at a complete loss and am looking for the advice input of someone who can add the addict’s perspective to my battle. My boyfriend of 2 years is a cocaine and marijuana addict. Wow, even just writing that hurt. I moved in with him in May of 2007 and it was the first time I realized how much of a problem it was. He has periods where he won’t use at all and then full blown binges where he will use for days straight. I have tried to cope with it and get myself help but I am now totally lost.

What if anything can I do or say to help? I have not fully confronted him on this before and all of our “discussions” about it have been when he was under the influence. I know it cannot go on like this. He needs help.

Any insight/advice/suggestions are much appreciated. Thank you for listening.

[Impurrfect]

(((Catecicc)))

I read/post on the F&F, too, so just read your other posts. I am a recovering crack addict and recovering codie.

Honestly, he will not get clean and work at recovery until he is ready. You can set your boundaries, as to what you will/won't tolerate. For some A's, if it is at a time when they're ready to get clean, it seems to help.

I didn't stop until my consequences were so bad that getting high just wasnt' worth it any more. I spent a month in jail, 4-1/2 months in a diversion center (locked up but allowed to work). Stayed clean for over a year, but relapsed. My relapse only lasted a week, but it was bad enough that I said "that's it". I have put more energy into my recovery than I ever did getting high.

I do know that if my family had "softened" the consequences for me, I would have kept on using. The best thing they ever did was let me fall on my face and figure out how to pick myself back up. I've always had their love, now I have their respect and trust again.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[TiredMama]

I agree with impurfect. No one will get help that doesn't want it. It is good to know you are there for him when he is ready but then again, please don't let that be your life and the only thing in it.

*HUGS*

[roadie58]

I agree with the other two posts above. For me, I had to get clean for ME and no one else. The costs were high, there is still damage being undone in family, health, finance. I would suggest an al-anon or nar-anon meeting for yourself.

[JbAus]

i'm not a crack addict, i'm an oxycodone addict, they're on different sides of the scale in terms of drugs, but addicts are all the same.
If he is periodically binging i would say he want to get it together, but then falling into the temptation and once he lets go he cannot stop.

[Aysha]

They say you never really know someone until you live with them.
I am sorry and like above. I will say there is nothing anyone can do for an addict until they themselves want it and do it. And having conversations when he is using is pointless. even when he isnt it is pointless. Make your thoughts and feelings known and thats about all you can do. Bounderies!!! Get them, keep them, stick to them!
My grams made my using way too easy for me. Not until this past Nove out of a 20 year addiction did I really get a serious taste of complete disconnection and abandonment. It was the worst feeling ever.
Take care of yourself and do for you. I wish you luck and I hope things work out for you.