A proper junkie

[tw33k]

On my 10th birthday my uncle gave me hash to smoke. From that day , I never looked back. I grew up with criminals, drug addicts, guns and prostitutes.
Like most ppl here, I graduated from cannabis, alcohol to amphetamines, coke, heroin...anything i could get.
By the time i as 18 , I wanted nothing more than a shot of heroin. So that's what I did. I commited my life to using as much heroin each day as i could.
I ended up working in a brothel in the cross in sydney. I was supplying them with heroin and ice and they gave me all the coke i wanted.
In 1998 i went into rehab. Finished the program in early 2000. I ended up working for them (i managed the admissions centre). I have an advanced diploma in alcohol and other drug work plus a myriad of other qualifications.
In late 2005, I became manic (i suffer bi-polar disorder and generalised anxiety)
I left my partner of 10 years and my 6 year old daughter. Since then, my life has been a roller coaster.
9 months ago I began suboxone treatment. I also attend GROW groups and NA meetings. I've had a slip, that's it. I've been off heroin and other drugs for over 9 months now.
I currently (ove the last month or so) am drinking too much. I had drinking under control but lately it's controlling me. I drink all day every day.
This may sound like a major problem to most but to me it's nothing i can't/WON'T fix.
I'm moving interstate soon to live with my girlfriend. I'm gonna finish my novel and live a normal, healthy life again.
I know what i need to do and more importantly...I WANT to do it!

[2ala2]

My advice to you would be: do not rely on yourself to stop drinking.
Remember, I can't, but we can.
Good luck.

[tw33k]

i'm with you....and yes, together we can do anything

[exjunky]

Tweek my friend, on another thread I suggested you try to lower your suboxone intake slowly to see how it goes. While I still think that's a good idea, now that I know your whole story, my suggestion is that you just continue to gobble as much suboxone as you need.

My longest "run" on heroin was only 3 or 4 years. I can't even imagine what it's like to be hooked for 18 years. Maybe you're a candidate for lifetime suboxone maintenance? Or maybe it can be scaled down and eventually stopped? I really don't know, but whatever happens, best of luck to you.

[Sugah]

exjunky, I was out there for 25 years in various forms, but at any point in addiction, I wasn't far from an opiate run. I substituted with alcohol, with cocaine, with all sorts of things, but, hell, I came into this world with opiates in my system. My mother had a difficult birth, and they drugged her heavily before completely knocking her out.

It is possible, even after many years of opiate dependence, to live without the cravings. I am, with the exception of caffeine & nicotine, completely drug free.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Evanna]

Tw33k,
I wish you all the best with whatever decisions you make.
Warm Regards
Evanna (recovering addict)

[Snowbunny]

Originally Posted by Sugah

exjunky, I was out there for 25 years in various forms, but at any point in addiction, I wasn't far from an opiate run. I substituted with alcohol, with cocaine, with all sorts of things, but, hell, I came into this world with opiates in my system. My mother had a difficult birth, and they drugged her heavily before completely knocking her out.

It is possible, even after many years of opiate dependence, to live without the cravings. I am, with the exception of caffeine & nicotine, completely drug free.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Wow Suger, that is really way cool. 25 years is so long. I admire you.

[Sugah]

I'm not 25 years clean, Snowbunny. I'm sorry if I was unclear. I used alcoholically & addictively for 25 years -- from age 9 until age 34. I got clean, have been clean, for a little over five years. My point was that even after a long using career, it is possible to get and stay clean.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[tw33k]

I totally agree. I'll get this drinking problem under control and have a great life ahead of me. I have the support of my family, friends, my girlfriend, my doctors etc...I can and WILL do this.
Thankyou for your support, it's means the world to me

[tw33k]

I've been cutting down my alcohol intake dramatically!
I feel great. I see my psychologist tomorrow for some more cbt and my psychiatrist friday.
Then i've got my daughter for the weekend.
All in all...i feel very good and would like to thank everyone who has assisted me along the way

[exjunky]

Awesome news!!! Good job!

I still want to see you reduce your suboxone intake but I won't badger you about it. Better you suck those little orange candies than you go back to you-know-what.

[vicoprincess93]

Addiction seems to change faces. Either way ya gotta fill the void. I didn't drink until i quit the pills. I think the better way to fill the void would be to find something you enjoy besides drinking, like a new hobby or somethin.

[tw33k]

I'm currently writing a novel which is coming together quite well. I need to focus more attention on that.
It's just hard at the moment as I've been transient for soo long with no stable abode. I think once i'm somewhere and settled, i can re-focus and get this thing written. I wanna write a screen play as well and turn it into a movie.