need to come clean

[juniordell49]

Hi forrum....In 1988 I decided to go to my 1st inpatient trtment ctr.I stayed 42 days and used the day I got out.Seven treat. ctrs later,thousands of na , aa mtgs,countless sponsers and relapses I have found it nessecary for the past yaer to become a full blown opiate addict.I haven't smoked no crack in 8 mths.I do find graditude in that.Now it's 80mg,40mg.oxycotin,5 and 10mg. percocets vicodin and anything else I can get my hands on in order not to get sick.I used to use to feel the laid backness and effects,,,,,,now I use to not go insane.The withdrawals are very bad and even fearful.My heath is critical due to a life threatning accident in 2003.Seven vertabrates in my neck were crushed,along with both my wrists.My right elbow ball and socket came completley out of my arm due to force of impact.It was replaced with a plastic ball.I stayed on IV morphine drip for around 30 days.So let's face it pain meds don't work just right with me anymore and I do suffer from chronic pain every day.What hurts the most though in all auctallity is the guilt I live with each day.I live in a recovery house and it's so difficult living as two people and living with the truth while living the lie continuously.FEEDBACK PLEASE.....

[Sugah]

Find a detox facility while you still can.

Prayers for you.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[bvaljalo]

Hey Bro,

Welcome to the boards. Keep coming back and letting us know how you're doing.

If I were you, I'd look into buprenorphine. It can be a real life-saver for someone in your situation. And unlike methadone, its not such a living hell to get off of if/when you decide you're ready.

Should be able to find a ton of info on it on the internet. It also goes by the trade names Subutex/Suboxone.

I used to do 3 to 5 80mg OC's a day myself for over three years straight, eventually switched to bupe for 7 months, weaned myself down and off it, now I have 5 months completely sober.

Eventually, when you get off the stuff, it's quite a bit easier than toughing out OC withdrawals, and a much better life while youre on the stuff ... and it does relieve pain reasonably well cause it's still an opioid drug.

Do some research if you don't already feel like you know much about it. I highly recommend it for someone in your shoes...

[ccgirl]

And go inpatient somewhere.

You do know, if the sober house you live in finds out, you'll be kicked out, so, in your best interests all around getting sober in a safe environment is your best choice.

[hairgirl]

Come clean, get in detox, and do what you have to do to stop living in the nightmare.There is so much agony in what you are facing, but you do have people who understand.I tried to live a double life only to let my fiance watch me wither in agony from withdrawl, you can only fool others for so long.Some people may already know what you are doing, they are just waiting for you to come clean.Addicts cannot fool eachother.Get help, and stop the insanity you are living.

[neilbeforeme28]

definitely get yourself into rehab as soon as possible...I did and it worked for me i was taking over 400mg of just oxy's alone, so i understand...Help yourself

[iluvmykids]

Junior --first WELCOME and second, YOU CAN DO THIS. Most of us on here have dumped an Opiod problem, so you can do it. I know that seems so far away and there isnt anyone that knows the system better than you, and you know that YOU HAVE TO WANT THIS. So, please post again and let us know what your plan is. If you need help with it, we are here.