Hi Everyone, I am a newbie and need encouragment

[newsandi]

I wanted to start out by saying I am at the end of day 8 of becoming clean and off of the pain meds. I have been on them for 20 years, a very very long time. For the last 7-8 years, I couldn't count 5 days that I wasn't on something. My dealer called today and I told him that I have quit and I dont want any anymore. That was hard and scary. BUT, I know that I have to do this. I am doing it for me. I did some soul searching recently and told myself enough is enough. I am tired of playing doctor after doctor, kissing every dealer's a## to get my pills and I am tired of spending over $1500 a month to take more and more pills and never get the high I once got. I was really concerned about the withdrawls but I think that I have gotten thru the worst, the physical part anyway. I finally slept last nite and that was wonderful. The mental part is kicking my rear. I think about them all the time. ALL THE TIME. But when they say take it day by day they mean it. I would enjoy to hear from others on what your turning point was, what you went thru and does it get better. I so miss the buzz and the energy I get from them. I know I will regain all of that in time but man this sucks big time. Also, my rock bottom, thank GOD, was way before I lost control in any aspect of my life so I am thankful that I am strong enough to quit before I screwed up my life and my families' lives. I would like to hear from you all. I have been reading the posts and it it gives me so much strength and encouragement. If there are others that have not took the step to quit, let me know your story and I will help in any way to encourage you and let you know what I have been thru and still am going thru. Thanks in advance for the strength.

[Done-With-It]

Hi Sandi!

Welcome to SR! and a Big Congrats!

You sound like you are on a good track so far. Do you have
other support besides here? You might want to think about that,
it may help.
I myself used to do crystal meth, have almost 2 years clean. It
was hard, still is some days, but I get through them. There were
a lot of things that caused my turning point, it does definately
get better, YES~! But there are days it will sneak up on you from
out of the blue. Some days you are just like omg, is it ever going
to be easier, and then (for me) most of the time, the thought of
it just disgusts me. Find your triggers, being tired and sick and run
down and/or sad is a big one for me, It's been rough the last few days,
but I would still never use. Just won't happen, protect yourself like you
would a five year old when you are vulnerable. lol, sounds stupid,
but it keeps me from using every time. Do what you gotta do, and you will make it.
Glad you are here! YOU CAN DO IT!!

[newsandi]

Thank you for responding. Yes, I have alot of people in my life that I am very open with on my addiction and my getting clean. I have a habit of telling everyone about myself. I am not ashamed because as we all know it happens to the best of us. My husband is wonderful, the company I work for is owned by my brother so he has really stepped up and is being patient with me. I have been working a little less then the norm to overcome these withdrawls. My parents are aware and they are great. My 18 year old son knows and everyone can see a major difference with my attitude. I dont get angry and stressed out over every little thing that happens in my life. I use to make a business and personal list 4 or 5 times a day so I would know what I need to do the next day, very busy life I have. But you know I noticed NO LISTS for the last 8 days and I am accomplishing more then before and I am not even working as much. I thought being on those meds made me so productive but I wasn't focusing on anything completely. I sing in the car again. I have patience with my rebel of a son. I dont blow up on him everytime I see him. I actually want to spend time with him and talk, talk, that wasnt in our vocabulary a week ago. So, I truly know this is going to be a new chapter in my life and a better chapter but the mental part like I said is tough. But we all can do it, if we really want to. Thanks again for your response and I will defintely keep on this post. And to be able to kick a addiction like what you had, is tougher then what I am going thru so I say Congrats and I am proud of you.

[humming bird]

Hi-

I am not an addicted to anything except a very god cup of coffee. I am the wife of a person with many addictions. One of them is pain pills. I am a stranger but I am very proud of you at this point in your life.

My husband is a lost cause at this point and it really hurts me that his pills and beer mean more to him than I and the kids. He will Friday receive a letter from my lawyer stating that the papers will be drawn. How sad for us all!!! I am strong now because of this site.

Enough about me, I am responing to your post because I am so happy for you!!!!
I think it is your time now and that you will be strong. I could just tell by your words.

I do not know you but I can tell you can do this!!!! Please keep posting and one thing I have learned from this site is that recovery is achived by admitting we all have problems!!!

Just let us all know how the long journey is going. I as a site member that has to live with addiction in my life will always happy to hear from someone that is trying to change their lives.

This is a great site so please use it to your every advantage- there is so much knowledge here and knowledge is power!!!!

Welcome and best wishes!!!!

[northbelle]

Hey There!!
Way to go kicking the dope!! I have been there pretty recently myself! I have 6 weeks off heroin/opiates!! The good news is THIS..the craving WILL go away..it lets up a little at about a month!! I NEVER thought I would quit CRAVING and it almost made me NUTZ!!
I know about that awful mental obsession that you speak of!! ARGHHHH..
I feel SO much better now that I am off dope...not drinking..working a recovery program.
Honestly today I was thinking waht a MIRACLE it is that...I was able to take the bus downtown and apply for a job at a really happening attorneys office! Maybe I will GET IT!! Just 6 weeks ago I was so freaking DOPESICK..my god..please..
I NEVER have to feel that way again...life offers so much misery anyway...why make it worse with addiction!!!! KIDDING...
Really , this works...so be encouraged..
summon all the intergrity and courage you can find to get through this and you will be rewarded...it is MUCH better on this side of the fence TODAY..
I have a occasional BI###IN day now!! and its all good..
love north

[northbelle]

Boy if you are sining in the CAR...on day 8!!!...................

Well only IMAGINE how great things will be at a year!! You'll be so happy you won't be able to stand yourself!

You have a great attitude! And you are not afraid to USE IT!!
Way to go..
love north

[2ala2]

Hello and welcome to SR Newsandi,
I hope it works out for the best for you. There is much hope in your words.
Keep posting and no matter what, do NOT use.
It's great having you here.

[ccgirl]

What a great first post. You are very uplifting. After 8 days I think my sorry self was on the couch chewing advil and drinking gatorade and feeling very sorry for myself.

I would suggest meetings. Right now you're in the honeymoon phase of recovery. You're just so happy to be clean that anything seems possible. But, we get lazy and complacent and meetings keep us grounded. I could not stay clean without them.


Thank you for starting my day on such a positive note!

[newsandi]

I was another post for addiction and felt like no one was responding and I am so so glad I found this site. It is amazing how many people are or was going thru what I am going thru. Today is Day 9 and I almost fell off the wagan. I called my pharmacy but hung up the phone. Then I called a friend to just get a couple pills and she wasn't available. I think that was a sign from God. It is harder today for some reason. Maybe it took awhile to get out of my system and now I have cravings from HELL! I am eating alot!! When I was on my pills I would very rarely eat and now thats all I want to do. Maybe I am eating to take my mind off of the evil pills. Who knows, I will do the day by day thing until these feelings subside some.
Thanks Again~~~

[Peter]

welcome sandi

[newsandi]

I just posted a second ago stating that I need a NA meeting and a sponsor, Do you know anywhere in the Cincinnati area that there might be one. I went on their site but I dont think Cincinnati has one. I sure need some help. I just about lost it today and I hate myself for it and I now know I need some extra support. Thanks in advance to you or anyone else out there.

[Peter]

Try this link:

http://www.naohio.org/

If you are still unable to locate a meeting there try getting in touch with AA. They can usually direct you to where the nearest NA meetings are.


http://www.aacincinnati.org/

[Impurrfect]

Sandi -

If you can't find an NA meeting, there are usually a lot more AA meetings available. I went to NA meetings, but actually found just what I needed from AA, even though my DOC was crack. There were more meetings available and they had meetings for 24 hours a day available on holidays, which my NA didn't have. Just want you to know that you will get support at either place.

Congrats on your clean time and admitting you need support!!! That's a huge step. It isn't a weakness on our part...it's simply taking advantage of help that is available.

Hugs and prayers!!

Amy

[humming bird]

Just checking in to see how you are doing.

I was really touched by your posts. Please keep strong!!!! You first need this for you. Let no one or anything step and block your recovery. You are in total contol of this. Sounds easy huh? I know it is not. I have watched my husband deal with his problems and then give up.

Your husband and son need the whole you!!!! From your posts it sounds like they are waiting for the whole sober you with open arms. I wish my husband was insightful as you!!! You must a great person!!!!!

Loves and hugs!!!!

[newsandi]

Thanks for the links, I found alot of different NA meetings close to home. I will go to my first one on Tuesday, it is really close to my house and I probably will have my mother go with me the first time since I dont know what occurs. I am not a out going person so there is no way I am talking, I just want to observe. Maybe eventually but right now I just want to listen. Do I just go there, I dont have to sign up first. I need this, I know I do.

[Impurrfect]

Sandi -

All you have to do is go there. They will usually go around the room and everyone introduces themselves like "I'm Amy and I'm an addict" then on to the next person. They will ask if anyone is at their first meeting - all you have to do is usually raise your hand.

You don't have to say anything. I didn't say anything, except to introduce myself, for several meetings. Don't be shy about saying you're a newcomer. It helps people who haven't been there long or are also brand new, to see someone else new, and it helps the people who have been there a long time to remember where they started. I've found out, a lot of times when I was new, other people would talk about when they were new and what helped them at first.

They will also usually give you their phone numbers. It's hard to call a stranger, but remember - they're NOT really strangers - just friends you haven't gotten to know yet. Then, when you have a day like today, instead of calling the pharmacy, you can call one of them and say "I'm really struggling" and they can help. YOU help them, too, 'cause that's a big part of continuing recovery - reaching out and helping someone else.

If you can, go a little early. I've never been to a meeting where someone didn't come up and talk to me beforehand, and when I said I was new, they always made me feel comfortable.

As far as your mom going, that's a good idea but make sure it is an "open" meeting (most are). If it is a "closed" meeting, that means for addicts only.

You're doing a great job, so far, and I'm glad that you're going to a meeting. Hope this helps.

Hugs and prayers!!

Amy