What do people who have been on Methadone and recovered think about it?

[littlethings]

I was just curious as to what people who have been on Methadone and recovered think of it? I am wondering just in general what your thoughts are about it..

I myself, was on methadone (for a heroin addiction) for a little over 2 years. I attended a daily clinic and eventually moved up the ladder (for clean time) and ended up going only once a week (to pick up 6 days worth of meds). I detoxed 1mg a week and eventually got off completely in April 06'. I noticed that methadone definitely effected my mind. I realized I was doing things on Methadone that I wouldn't do "normally". I also believe I had OCD while I was on it. I was never diagnosed though. I also had a lot of anxiety, which is still true today. After I stopped attending the clinic, I found my days long and I would still wake up at 530am (the time I used to leave for the clinic) everyday. I landed a good job towards the end of my methadone journey, which I believe pushed me to get off completely. To this day I still have the job, but I still find it hard to find things to occupy myself during the day. I have NO URGE AT ALL to use heroin EVER again. I believe it was just a big "teenage mistake" (being as i started using heroin when i was 17 and got off methadone at age 22).

I want to know what other people thought of their "methadone journeys".

I also do not reccomend to anyone LONG TERM use of methadone.... I wish I could go back and do a 30 day detox instead of 2+ years.... I look back and I do not remember much of those 2+ years.. I feel as though methadone put me in a "zone" for those years.

Just curious..... what are everyone else's thoughts??

[Brewster]

First off, welcome to SR. I hope you will find it as valuable and supportive as I do.

I did the 30 day detox and have been clean for 17 months from an oxycodone habit. I too, find it a project to keep myself busy. I think that comes from adjusting to a life without drugs to keep the mind busy.

In the support group I attend, we have two people that did a long term Methadone program and they describe similar experiences to yours. Both are now off the drug for a while but describe many of the same symptoms as you.

I think you'll find many responses to your post and being clean for while, it looks like you'll have a lot of insight to offer.

[exjunky]

My story is very much like yours.

I made the same "teenage mistake", and it went through distinct phases. In the first stage, I denied I even had a habit. "I can quit any time!" and "Only dumb people get hooked!" and other stupid things would come out of my mouth. Later I knew for sure I was hooked, but considered it a "lifestyle choice" and continued on a path of self-destruction.

Then I hit the stage that most junkies spend most of their time trapped within: I dearly wanted to quit, I realized what a horrible mistake I've made, and I just couldn't do it. I must have tried to quit a hundred times.

In the final stage, I was at rock bottom, had nowhere to live, had almost no money, and I just couldn't go on any more. So in bad withdrawal, I went to a methadone clinic.

I explained my situation. They treated me with great respect, which surprised me. Nobody judged me; my problem was considered in every way to be a disease. I have to admit, I rather enjoyed the attention that I was getting. They started me on a somewhat high dose, and within an hour after I drank it I was feeling much better. An hour later I realized I was actually getting high on the stuff. Now that got my attention. The clinic had suddenly become my best and most reliable friend, way more than any of the drug dealers or junkies that I used to hang out with.

As I really wanted to get clean, my attitude was simple: whatever they recommend is fine by me. Fast detox, slow detox, whatever they say is best. I wasn't going to argue the details.

This enabled me to get my life together. Before methadone, every hour of my life was dedicated to either doing drugs, scoring drugs, or getting the money to score drugs. Suddenly I had all this time on my hands, a chance to actually improve myself and "get a life".

So it worked in my case, inasmuch as it was a technique from being actively addicted to being clean. However I also learned later in life that in addition to getting clean there is another important piece of the puzzle: staying clean!

[littlethings]

Originally Posted by exjunky

My story is very much like yours.

I made the same "teenage mistake", and it went through distinct phases. In the first stage, I denied I even had a habit. "I can quit any time!" and "Only dumb people get hooked!" and other stupid things would come out of my mouth. Later I knew for sure I was hooked, but considered it a "lifestyle choice" and continued on a path of self-destruction.

Then I hit the stage that most junkies spend most of their time trapped within: I dearly wanted to quit, I realized what a horrible mistake I've made, and I just couldn't do it. I must have tried to quit a hundred times.

In the final stage, I was at rock bottom, had nowhere to live, had almost no money, and I just couldn't go on any more. So in bad withdrawal, I went to a methadone clinic.

I explained my situation. They treated me with great respect, which surprised me. Nobody judged me; my problem was considered in every way to be a disease. I have to admit, I rather enjoyed the attention that I was getting. They started me on a somewhat high dose, and within an hour after I drank it I was feeling much better. An hour later I realized I was actually getting high on the stuff. Now that got my attention. The clinic had suddenly become my best and most reliable friend, way more than any of the drug dealers or junkies that I used to hang out with.

As I really wanted to get clean, my attitude was simple: whatever they recommend is fine by me. Fast detox, slow detox, whatever they say is best. I wasn't going to argue the details.

This enabled me to get my life together. Before methadone, every hour of my life was dedicated to either doing drugs, scoring drugs, or getting the money to score drugs. Suddenly I had all this time on my hands, a chance to actually improve myself and "get a life".

So it worked in my case, inasmuch as it was a technique from being actively addicted to being clean. However I also learned later in life that in addition to getting clean there is another important piece of the puzzle: staying clean!

They did the same with me.... my "clinic" was more of a "family" for me for those few years. Like I had said earlier, I wish i would have chosen the 30 day detox instead of the 2 or more so years i spent there. They made it too easy to continue going there and staying on methadone MAINTENANCE instead of detox. I think when i finally left there i was on only TWO mgs a day for about a week... I had a very slow detox (as i said earlier) .. but I just stopped going after that last week of 2mgs per day. I hope to never be on it again, but if for some reason I end up there again, I will DEFINITELY choose the 30 day detox. I refuse to waste (i hate to say "waste" but looking back that's really what it was) another 2+ yrs of my life. LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!

Good job on getting off of the methadone I know what a struggle it is....

[Lbad]

I used methadone and a 12 step program to get and stay clean from active IV heroin addiction. My home group (not NA but AA) didn't care (thank god) that I was on methadone and they let me participate fully. I detoxed, stayed clean and will be 5 years clean/sober in January...
I was ready and I never abused my dose. I never nodded out etc etc.......
A combination of methadone treatment and the 12 steps transformed my life from hopeless junky/alcoholic to a beautiful woman with a life....
My clinic was VERY supportive of my journey and helped and encouraged me to detox appropriately under medical supervision so that my chances for relapse would be less. It worked. I am grateful beyond measure...

[littlethings]

Originally Posted by Lbad

I used methadone and a 12 step program to get and stay clean from active IV heroin addiction. My home group (not NA but AA) didn't care (thank god) that I was on methadone and they let me participate fully. I detoxed, stayed clean and will be 5 years clean/sober in January...
I was ready and I never abused my dose. I never nodded out etc etc.......
A combination of methadone treatment and the 12 steps transformed my life from hopeless junky/alcoholic to a beautiful woman with a life....
My clinic was VERY supportive of my journey and helped and encouraged me to detox appropriately under medical supervision so that my chances for relapse would be less. It worked. I am grateful beyond measure...

Congrats on the 5 yrs coming up!! That's something to be proud of!! GOOD JOB!!

As I said before, I got off methadone in April 2006, the heroin use had stopped in the beginning of my treatment... so i've been clean probably about 3 years or so...

let me ask you something.. I'm not sure if you feel the same... but my addiction happened when i was so young that i couldn't even believe it was me.. I can NOT EVEN IMAGINE going back to the things i used to do.. maybe i just grew up idk...

[exjunky]

Originally Posted by littlethings

Good job on getting off of the methadone I know what a struggle it is....

Thanks, but let this be a lesson to others in the same circumstance: you can go through hell and back getting off of methadone, and then, years later, in a moment of weakness you can throw all that work away! If you spent a year building a house, and then it was very cold one night, would you burn your house down to the ground to stay warm? DON'T DO IT!

Originally Posted by Lbad

My home group (not NA but AA) didn't care (thank god) that I was on methadone and they let me participate fully.

That's good. Maybe the fact that it was an AA group worked in your advantage. Rules designed to silence certain members is not meant to be a punishment, but to avoid unproductive talk. Junkies know how to push other junkies buttons, in a weird way... I think you know what I mean.

[Lbad]

Originally Posted by littlethings

let me ask you something.. I'm not sure if you feel the same... but my addiction happened when i was so young that i couldn't even believe it was me.. I can NOT EVEN IMAGINE going back to the things i used to do.. maybe i just grew up idk...

I feel exactly the same. I did things that blow my mind today..... My moral compass has been restored.....

[Viki]

I am currently taking mthadone prescribed for chronic pain. I ma being weaned off of it slowly. i believe that the 30 day detox would have been better if my job would have been here after the 30 days. I have alot of pain due to 2 car accidents. i will be going for a hip replacement very soon and i don't know how I will handle that pain if i am off the methadone. I know one thing......methadone has its own hell to come off of. If you can absolutely not get on it don't. Viki

[littlethings]

Originally Posted by Viki

I am currently taking mthadone prescribed for chronic pain. I ma being weaned off of it slowly. i believe that the 30 day detox would have been better if my job would have been here after the 30 days. I have alot of pain due to 2 car accidents. i will be going for a hip replacement very soon and i don't know how I will handle that pain if i am off the methadone. I know one thing......methadone has its own hell to come off of. If you can absolutely not get on it don't. Viki

good luck Vicki..... YOU CAN DO IT. =)

[cindymarie]

i dont use. i never have. my fiance is recovering. He's been on methadone for about 4 years now. He finally started to detox and went from 150 and is almost to 50 now. I can already seen the changes and emotions in him. I am scared for when he goes below 20. I need advice from people who know what is going to go through and what I can do to make it easier for him.