I need help, please!!

[Hope]

Before I got clean in May, I overdosed on Baclofen. I don't have any permanant problems from that except for memory loss. I have been continually researching memory loss problems associated with that and I keep finding out all of this stuff about statin drug related memory loss. But what I am freaking out and scared of is it being permanant!! My memory is practically shot and I can't find anything that says the outcome of these effects. I'm so scared about this!! I dont know where else to do research on it but I almost don't have the ability to process new memories. It affects my every day life and I need all of the information that I can get on this.

I hope my memory heals in time and that this is transient and not permanant damage.

Any thoughts, imput? (would be greatly appreciated)

Thanks.

[northbelle]

Well I don't know much about that drug or its long or short term effects.
I do know that post acute withdrawal and the insanity that is addiction. I also have overdosed on different drugs and a doctor told me she did not KNOW if I would return to my pre drug state...
Its scarey to not remember and feel like our emotions and mental stuff is fried...and sometimes it IS..But have a little FAITH..
You can't learn to do it from researching ...Blind faith,,,try it little ..there are amazing things that happen in the lives of recovering people and I am not one to discount the miracles either..."there is one who has all power"...
I do not claim to know WHO that power is or how it works..but it does .
Believe that you will feel better and let go of it a little...you are obviously doing lots of thinking with that brain of yours!!!!
I am kinda in the same boat as youright now..I feel prema-fried...but I am not going to think my way out of this one..I have to stay clean one day at a time and try to catch a miracle..
I feel your worry and your fear..I think you are gonna be ok Hope 4 life....
love north

[Hope]

Thanks North. I'm hoping for a miracle too.
Like you said, we can stay clean and hope to catch a miracle.

I think that if we stay clean we will heal and won't always be so bad.

I think I've just been really paranoid over this whole thing after reading all of that. I never thought of stuff like that before I actually decided to do the hard but in the aftermath is when it really comes back to haunt ya.

What's done is done though and I can't undo it but I can cause unnecessary stress to myself by worrying. Maybe I can still function with what brain I have left. :P
Definitely don't want to be digging any more holes for myself that is for sure.

Yes, just like you said.... Faith.... and hope for a miracle.

For you and me both.

[Hope]

Maybe it's PAWS?

I don't understand... one day I can focus ok and then the next day I can't focus AT ALL. Not even a little bit. I also have to go over things in my mind constantly or I won't remember it.

[northbelle]

Ya know its funny we never think about this stuff when we are out there rippin and runnin....at least I don't...!
love north

Am I the only one that rips and runs??..LOL..god I sound like I am 18 years old...

[Hope]

No, you weren't the only one to rip and run. I did that too!! Didn't think about anything, just went ahead and did everything I wanted to do.

North, you're so sweet. You cheered me up. Thank you so much for the support tonight. I'm so grateful.

[northbelle]

Its so OK..I do the same thing..I am lucky to make it our of my addiction BREATHING and then I want to worry about stuff like heart damage...I mean ..whats done is done..we are still here postin away..saving each other daily from the grips of hell..now if that ain't a miracle I don't know what is huh???
love north

[Hope]

A true miracle

At least we are alive and breathing and have another chance at life.

[Viki]

Just because we have reached a certain age we don't have to stop rippin and runnin. We just have to call it a different name such as shopping and parenting for some lol. I agree with you north about getting out of the addiction breathing. My addiction wanted to kill me. Too bad i couldn't arrest it for attempted murder lol. Yeah i can laugh at it now because i have cried for so very long due to the pain it causes. Hope4life.....we have to train our brain again nad teach it to think positive thoughts. Sometimes it wants to rebel nd go back to the nonfunctioning brain that was doped up so it won't have to work. Make your mind work....keep excersing it and you'll find soon that you are in control once again.............Viki

[northbelle]

LOL...shopping and parenting have indeed replaced rippin and runnin...
think thats our cue we are too old for this noise!!
thanx viki..
love north

[northbelle]

Arrested for attempted murder!! LOLOLOl
love ya!
north

[Viki]

Sometimes we have to rotfloao to keep from crying don't we?

[Hope]

LOL, Viki, that was so hilarious!!!!!!!!

[Morning Glory]

I found these 2 links. You might want to ask your doctor about Piracetam.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...t=AbstractPlus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piracetam

[Hope]

Thanks so much for those links, MG! I will definitely check into it.
I never heard of that before. That's great information.

[ccgirl]

North, rippin and runnin? It sounds like gas!!! LOL

Hope, it does sound like PAWS. I'm going to get all 12 step on you. Take this one day at a time. You can't change what happened and worrying will probably make your memory worse (trust me, I speak from experience) so step back and maybe don't google so much about it (another of my favorites from my hypochondriac period)

P.S. May I ask if the baclofen was prescribed or if you were using it recreationally? The only reason I ask is a couple years ago in outpatient detox, they prescribed it to me for muscle pain.

[Sugah]

Hey, Cheryl...it's good to hear from you.

I had the same kind of frustration dealing with my memory, and I was told to practice patience. I say "same kind," not "same" because I don't know how my memory limitations compare with yours. I just know I felt as you describe -- and the acceptance that I could only be where I was...no matter how much I wanted improvement right now was a tough one. After all, I could claim "Not fair!" but I did this to me.

To offer a little hope: my memory did continue to improve, though it's still limited in some ways. I can completely forget a conversation with one of my kids or my husband, or that I told someone I would do something -- so I keep a lot of notes, little clues to trigger the memory if it's important. A day planner, a "to-do" list, and a journal help with that. I have also taken to carrying 3x5 note cards, jotting down key words after a conversation (along w/date & whom I was talking with!).

Here's a practical suggestion: search the net for memory games. You know those "flip the cards and make pairs" kind of thing? Seriously, they help!

We tend to associate certain limitations with disabilities that keep us from attaining particular goals. I can tell you that my limitations have not derailed my goals. In some ways, I have to work harder than others on my path, but I'm only as disabled as I choose to be.

Good luck, don't drive yourself nuts with research, and find something to believe in that believes in you!

I believe in you...

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[exjunky]

What do you mean when you say "my memory is shot" ? You express yourself very lucidly. To an "outsider" to your brain, nothing seems wrong.

Can you answer questions like "What was the name of Clinton's vice president?" or "Who is famous for inventing the light bulb?"

Or is it just a short term thing, like if I said my phone # was 555-0129 you wouldn't be able to remember that long enough to jot it down?

Or is it "mid-term" memory, like, "What did you eat for dinner last night?"

My short-term memory is shot from 25 years of smoking pot ... and yet, my long term memory is scary. I can recall a magazine article I read in 1983 and I can tell you the title and maybe the first sentence or two, and describe the illustration to it (it was black and red on the left side of the page), and oddly I remember the advertisement that was on the right side of the page at the bottom (it was for the Rosecruitians' church.)

And when somebody says "Hi my name is Eric" in two minutes I'm asking them what their name is. Funny huh?

Memory is a weird thing. I bet yours will come back, it usually takes years of abuse to really hurt a brain.

[Hope]

May I ask if the baclofen was prescribed or if you were using it recreationally? The only reason I ask is a couple years ago in outpatient detox, they prescribed it to me for muscle pain.

I used it recreationally once trying to get high off of it. I kept taking a bunch of them trying to get high but I never got high from them. I just got really sick for days.

I think they are safe and non-addictive. My brother is 16 and he has a prescription for them for his stiff muscles. He's been
taking them since he was 12-13. He's never had any problems associated with them.

[ccgirl]

Thanks. I was a little weirded out to think an addiction doctor would give me something addictive, lol!

[Done-With-It]

My whole first year Hope, I was always sick in one way or another, memory always being at the top of the list, just roll with it and do the best you can, or that's what I did. After the first year it gets better, I'm almost to my 2nd year and I can definately tell a difference finally. I will pm you some day if you want and tell you the little things I noticed but recently there is a huge difference and I'm sure it's from the drug recovery because I've noticed the same thing a few other people at their 2 years. It will happen to you too, just keep going.. Ughh, brings back memories at how sick I was at times my first year, I was a mess trying to get back to normal.
Have you been to the doctors lately? Maybe a checkup would be good?