ct or taper?

[mikiglen]

since this has come up in my thread and not everyone reads, i wanted to start a new topic.
i am going CT off about 25 ultram a day, for the simple fact that (i won't get into religion here) i will die if i continue to use.
i tried a taper numerous, NUMEROUS times, both with vicodin and ultram, and every time have failed.
i went ct off 70 vicodin a day 11 years ago and stayed sober for 9.
i keep hearing how i am setting myself up for relapse. why is that?
is recovery not more about your state of mind? whether you are ready to be honest, openminded and willing? whether you are ready to quit? i could taper down to 2 pills a day, but if i am not READY to stop, i won't. should a cocaine addict go from one bag (or whatever...don't do street drugs ), then 3/4 bag, then 1/2 bag?
i'm confused as to why this is so controversial? i'm on seizure meds, i'm under a doctor's care, i'm being monitored....why is it being implied that i will fail?
i'd like to hear any thoughts....while i am openminded, i have absolutely no intention of filling an ultram script just to try to taper again.
i want to understand where people are coming from...isn't everyone different?
sorry for going on....you know how it is in detox...mind is not functioning at 100%
thanks for any replies

[2ala2]

Hi,
What I can tell you is: I always quit opiates cold turkey(whether by myself or locked up). For me, this was always the best way. I recuperate quickly from them.
If it was Benzos, I would advise you to taper reaaaaaaaaaaal slow.
Good luck...

[sugarssweetpea]

I think it is best to do what your doctor advises you to do & what you feel is best for you. You know what you can handle. I just know that some drugs can cause health issues, but as long as you are under a doctor's care, I would do what you know in your heart is best.

[emmer]

If your an all or nothing addict then I would go with c/t ... c/t is why your on phenobarb right... so you don't siezer ?

[Jane63]

Miki...I have not followed your thread but I do know that if people are telling you that you will fail, then probably best not to listen to these people. IMO, negativity is counter-productive.

Do what you and your DR think is best and try to go into this with a positive approach...I CAN do this! I WILL do this!!
Best wishes!
Jane

[Barto]

The only thing I've ever had to (and been able to) taper is benzos. Everything else was cold turkey. Recovery was never immediate though. I think it is also easier to taper things like caffeine, but this is only to avoid the headache and extreme lethargy, which is no big deal in comparison. You should not seize tapering benzos if you go slow unless you have a seizure disorder for which the meds are prescribed. But I am no doctor. I’d get professional advice from a specialist.

I only mention benzos because I thought I read that you were on them or tapering off them in another thread. I also agree with Jane -- and the statement that everyone is different.

[windysan]

Opiates....for me CT with ibuprofen...maybe darvocette for a couple of days.

It was best for me to just git r done.

[formergolf99]

Originally Posted by Jane63

Miki...I have not followed your thread but I do know that if people are telling you that you will fail, then probably best not to listen to these people. IMO, negativity is counter-productive.

Do what you and your DR think is best and try to go into this with a positive approach...I CAN do this! I WILL do this!!
Best wishes!
Jane

Read the comments..not one person is telling her she will fail. Only suggestions and thoughts on C/T vs. taper.

[leeside]

Tapering eases you into an eventual CT. Just stopping abruptly can be dangerous especially when you take 30 pills a day. If you can safely go CT and not relapse by all means go CT.

[Barto]

Originally Posted by mikiglen

this has come up in my thread and not everyone reads

i keep hearing how i am setting myself up for relapse. why is that?

i'm confused as to why this is so controversial? i'm on seizure meds, i'm under a doctor's care, i'm being monitored....why is it being implied that i will fail?

i'd like to hear any thoughts... i want to understand where people are coming from...isn't everyone different?

I think this is what Jane is talking about golf.

[mikiglen]

i am so tired of this.
i will do this without sr, i'm tired of the judgements, and having to defend myself from one or two people who must always post when i do
if this:

Sorry to say this Misti, but I think you are just setting yourself up for a relapse trying to go CT

is not implying i will fail, then i don't know what is.
read my thread, i'm under a doctor's care.
i'll come back when i have two weeks clean
geez, sometimes i hate this place

[Barto]

I don’t know who you mean, Miki, but why don’t you send out a PM or two if you don't want to address those one or two in the thread(s).

[formergolf99]

?
I'll pull out of this discussion.
No one is being negative at all...I have read one person simply giving their thoughts about doing a C/T.
I thought this forum was about TRUE feelings and not about tip-toeing around people.

[Jane63]

Wow! ;-(

I am sorry if you are feeling so overwhelmed but please don't go {{Miki}}!
Take a break from SR for a day and then try to sort through what people may or may not be advising you...and I agree with Barto...sometimes PMing works best!
{{Hugs}}
Jane

[leeside]

Pulling out! Don't hate me because I care.

[exjunky]

Originally Posted by mikiglen

i tried a taper numerous, NUMEROUS times, both with vicodin and ultram, and every time have failed.

Well I guess you answered your own question there. Tapering is not an option for everybody--at least, self-monitored tapering. It's different when you go to a methadone clinic and have no choice but to accept lower dosages, but like many addicts, when I'm the one holding my own dispensing bottle, I tend to get a little carried away.

Originally Posted by mikiglen

i went ct off 70 vicodin a day 11 years ago and stayed sober for 9.

Is that a misprint??? 70??? It's not such an outrageous amount of hydrocodone, but wouldn't that destroy your liver? That's way beyond a fatal dose of Tylenol!!

Originally Posted by mikiglen

should a cocaine addict go from one bag...then 3/4 bag, then 1/2 bag?

Don't be silly--cocaine is not a "taper" drug, neither is marijuana, ecstasy, LSD, or any drug that lacks physical withdrawal symptoms. Opiates, benzos, and barbituates are usually what people would taper. That's because with cocaine it's just a psychological pull, you quit when the day comes that you say "enough!" Opiates on the other hand are different--it's more than a psychological pull, it's a physical process as well.

Anyhow if you've been sober of 9 years there's no reason you can't stay sober again for 9 years--or 18 years, or 36, or however long you want.

[jane_668]

Miki,if you believe that u can't taper than don't.Only you can know what's best for you.End of story.But in either cases we will be here for you and we will support you .you're such a lovely lady.So whatever was your decision just go ahead with it and stick to it.I admire your courage for insisting on CT.Icould have never done it unless with a taper.but then again that's me.I couldn't kick my ultram except through 7days detox and I was taking 20 pills Ultram and I'm still struggling with the psychological part although I'm 13 days clean

[Sugah]

Perhaps my docs were all wrong (there were many consulted), but I only know what I was told - that as painful and uncomfortable as opiate detox can be, it's not life threatening in and of itself. Benzos and alcohol are the only two commonly abused drugs that really should be medically monitored.

I think, Misti, that folks who advocate a taper are ones who have been able to successfully do it. If they were like you and me, suffering from this particular variety of addiction where one is too many and a thousand is never enough, they'd understand why you and I had to go cold turkey.

Talk to your doc about possible side effects and please, please be careful with the barbiturates. I didn't say anything before, but I've said a prayer that they don't take the place of your DOC. As soon as your doc feels the danger of seizure has passed, throw those puppies away!

I've kicked more times (usually involuntarily) than I like to think about. I abused Ultram years ago and in extreme quantities, though I couldn't tell you what the detox was like because I kept substituting one drug for the other back then. Never did I suffer more than the usual detox symptoms that are common to all opiates, which, though uncomfortable, are not life-threatening.

If you want one on one support, Misti, you know how to reach me.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[mikiglen]

thanks, sugah
don't worry about the barbs....i am not taking them like i should be cause i don't like the way they make me feel. i am only taking half of what i am supposed to....and only then to do a little sz prevention. prob not wise, but i really don't like them.
i just didn't understand where people were coming from about the whole taper thing...like i've said, i think when you're ready, you're ready, no matter how many you took the last time you used.
apparently a side effect of neurontin is emotional extremes....people say something nice, they are your best friend....say something mean and you want to kill them....maybe my reaction yest was because of that. i won't say anything further on that subject.
i am past 72 hours and doing well. no intention, no plan, not even any thoughts of using. no rummaging through cupboards, absolutely nothing. it's not near over yet, but today looks good
thanks for those who have offered their support

[ccgirl]

You know Misti, I c/t's a couple times, and tapered a couple times. You've gotta do it the way you feel you can handle it. For me, both ways sucked for withdrawals. I believe it's not the way you stop, but your inner self being ready to surrender. It took me a long time (my last time was in a medical detox hospital) and I still pray every day for the strength not to use. Misti, when the time is right for you to finally be done, you will find that inner strength, whether you c/t or taper.