relapse bad bad this time! dont know how to end it!

[TexasGrL]

Hello u guys. well i am sooooo well i dont know... I relapsed on ton's on vicoden soma ambien fiorecet alcoholnot at the same time thak goodness. well im sorry for posting this i dont know why i am i guess cuz deep down i know i need to stop and i think this helps me. i thought i was finished w/ the soma! but after a while sober i just could not stand it. stress from probation! about 1 week ago i did something i thought id never do i got my old old doc. to script me ambien again cuz i dont have enough moneyfor the somas and i felt the vic's only last 2 day's,after2years that crap which led me to forge scrips and 4 yrs probationa and jail and lots of money/ car/ job! why how? could i let this get so out of control!!! if i dont have anything dont care what!! as long its in pill form and will get me high i go crazy qont leave the house so depressed thinking of how to get money 2 get more i also quit my job. stupid!! i now work mowing lawns for ppl around m house doesnt pay great not enough to suport habet and gas cig!!!! so far behind on probation fines and community service im probubly going to jail/prison soon and that is soo not the place for me. if i dont stop i know know ill end up there! i cant take it and dont know what to dp at all.!!! plz anyonw who takes the time to read respond i thank u!
M

[laurenlanai25]

i can only share my experience and that is get to a meeting first thing in the morning and share! Good Luck to you!

[emmer]

Hi Texas,Most things in life are anything but black and white. However some things simply are. Example: Drug use = heavy problems.

When problems arise the urge to bury the pain is sometimes overwhelming.
Too much too handle alone right?
Hit the meetings girl! Talk it out. Share your pain with other addicts.
Thats what NA is for. Getting help and if possible helping others.
We need you as much as you need us.
Make tommorrow a brand new day. Say to yourself to heck with it ...I've had enough
I'm going to a meeting and I'm going to end this madness once and for all.

We are all hear to support you Texas. Keep posting ....K

...Joe

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by TexasGrL

Hello u guys. well i am sooooo well i dont know... I relapsed on ton's on vicoden soma ambien fiorecet alcoholnot at the same time thak goodness. well im sorry for posting this i dont know why i am i guess cuz deep down i know i need to stop and i think this helps me. i thought i was finished w/ the soma! but after a while sober i just could not stand it. stress from probation! about 1 week ago i did something i thought id never do i got my old old doc. to script me ambien again cuz i dont have enough moneyfor the somas and i felt the vic's only last 2 day's,after2years that crap which led me to forge scrips and 4 yrs probationa and jail and lots of money/ car/ job! why how? could i let this get so out of control!!! if i dont have anything dont care what!! as long its in pill form and will get me high i go crazy qont leave the house so depressed thinking of how to get money 2 get more i also quit my job. stupid!! i now work mowing lawns for ppl around m house doesnt pay great not enough to suport habet and gas cig!!!! so far behind on probation fines and community service im probubly going to jail/prison soon and that is soo not the place for me. if i dont stop i know know ill end up there! i cant take it and dont know what to dp at all.!!! plz anyonw who takes the time to read respond i thank u!
M

Hey~

Sorry your having such a hard time. I am short on words atm, but didn't want to leave your post unanswered, Good for you for reaching out. I'm not sure what to tell you except keep trying and do whatever you have to do to quit. Find a different way to cope with stress rather than using, because stress will always be there.
There are so many different options for recovery these days, NA is everywhere, and there are many other options. There's a list on one of the stickies w/other options.
I know how hard it is, but you can survive and get through not using, set your mind on it, and just don't do it, No Matter What, and find what you need to help you not use on the way. (((...))) Hang in there.

[ccgirl]

You do sound at the end of your rope. Can you detox somewhere? If not, I also suggest going to meetings. I'm newly sober and I can tell you that there were days I wanted to use so bad and I went to a meeting, sometimes not because I wanted to, but because I knew I wouldn't use if I went. It's a safe place to go. You may meet someone there who after the meeting can pull you aside and offer some more suggestions for help. Other than that, there's nothing else I can offer; you have to want to get sober for it to work.