My Doctor

[emmer]

The doctor I have now said that i am not a candidate for NA....and that NA is only for people shooting drugs.
And then I go to NA and I here people say - don't go out there-
Stay away from your dealer.
And how they saw so and so "out" in addiction.

I havn't gone to a dealer in years and years (20 years) .... It was benzo addiciton that made me pick up the phone and call NA.
And I was a otc junkie of sorts.

I don't have much in common with anyone at NA... drug wise. My problem was with a pharmaceutical drug and it seems that everyone elses was with "street drugs"
And with what my doctor said.... Latley I feel stupid going to NA.

I feel out of place there.

[cmc]

Hi emmer,
I'm sure some others will come along with good replies and I'm not in NA but have attended many, many NA meetings and so have my husband and my son.
I don't think your doctor understands addiction. Period. There are plenty of folks who abuse RX drugs....legally and illegally.
Maybe you can let your doctor do his doctoring and let the recovery professionals...ie..members of NA..and/or any addiction specialist--- help with what they do best- share their ESH and show the way to recovery.
It doesn't matter what the doc is...the core problems are all the same and the same steps and plan of recovery is used. The same steps are used in my recovery as well and I'm an Alanoner.

And with what my doctor said.... Latley I feel stupid going to NA.

You are my friend and I've seen you come so far....let your doctor feel stupid when he sees you stay clean, or better yet, just let what he says roll off your back. My son taught me " If it doesn't apply- let it fly" and it's a good one to remember. You know what works, please don't quit because of some uneducated remarks. You aren't stupid...you are surviving and finding a better life.
hugs,
cmc

[northbelle]

Hmmm....that old similarity adage..look for the similarities and not the differences..
I think we have to really TRY to connect with people..it is not easy and sometimes I can't WAIT to walk out the door because I feel so out of place and uncomfortable..then other meetings I fit right in..
Addiction is addiction..doesn't matter if you shot it...stick it up your butt..snort it..get it from the street corner or from a docoter...it takes us all to the same place...
Do you go to that meeting often? It takes time and effort to connect with people..I really think you should keep going...if not for you do it for someone else...Emmer you have a real true GIFT helping other people..and it is like you have to use that gift..you NEVER know who is going to need to hear what you have to say,,
Sounds like you are kind of lonely.
I have felt like that very much lately...
Tonight that girl that I met before who came to my house and I had to ask her to leave wiht her baby?? Well she called me and she was totally out of milk for her baby and had NO food for her either...There is no way I could refuse her!! Here I am packing up a food bag at midnite and I walked out to the road and gave it to her...I have to tell you I have given away alot of food this month. I have never seen so many hurting people out there. My friend told me I am a sucker...Maybe I am too but I am GLAD she called me and that at least she has the sense to ask someone when she needs food for her kid...I am glad she felt like she COULD ask me..I was crying when I walked out to meet her..I am not sure why...something is really going on inside of me....I feel really sad and alone too..And I have people that care about me...THIS TOO SHALL PASS...Go through what you have to but don't cut ties with recovery..you are needed there..I know you are..
love north

[jane_668]

Hey emmer,

My problem was with a pharmaceutical drug

well that was my problem and still is.Addiction is addiction no matter what we r using so you must chose the way the suites you best for your recover regardless of what the doc say. I have never met a doctor who had it 100% .So if you found that NA helps you then go for it.Actually i don't go to any NA meetings.
North,I hate to see you feeling like that.YOU ARE NOT ALOne.You have chance and he's the best gift you can ever ask for. Also there amy people who admire you and like.You have agreat big heart.You deserve to be clean.The worst is over so if you hang on you will encounter the goods things too .
Love
Jane

[Barto]

If you were abusing the prescribed pills, rather than taking them as prescribed, then MAYBE PA (Pills Anonymous) is a better fit for you. If you were taking them as prescribed, then I’d tend to agree with your doctor.

A huge part of AA, and one reason it doesn’t have an official opinion about drugs, is that identification between members with regard to the symptoms of the disease – the specific behavior involved with alcoholism – is different than the specific behavior involved in doing street drugs. I think this is a part of what has made AA so successful over the years, its singleness of purpose, its one drunk talking to another premise.

That said, if you can’t find a PA meeting, or are otherwise disinclined to go to one, I’d stick with AA or NA rather than abuse prescription drugs – and I think that you previously posted that you were abusing (rather than taking the drugs as prescribed).

Have you gone to AA? Lot’s of AA’s have had the "pill problem" in conjunction with their drinking. You may identify more there. Then again you may run out of AA and back to NA screaming. Just a thought.

Your thoughts could also be your disease (that part of your mind that wants you to use) working on getting you to use again. Its hard to tell from here.

[ccgirl]

Emmer, addiction is addiction is addiction. Your doctor is an ass. Mine encouraged me to try NA and even AA meetings (my doc is vicoden) I have settled in an AA group that has both alcohol abusers and drug abusers of all kinds. I've become friends with a woman whose main problem is benzos and alcohol.

Maybe look around for different meetings and find one where you have more in common with people. The first meeting I went to this summer after I got out of the hospital, I swear looked like a cocktail party without the booze. A bunch of old people in their Ralph Lauren Polo shirts, khakis and topsiders and they all talked like Thurston Howell the Third, lol. So, I "shopped" around til I found a meeting I was comfortable with and no one makes me feel like I don't fit in, because they're people with similar backgrounds to me, (i.e.; they don't have dealers, etc)

Don't give up on meetings. Maybe your doctor.........

[emmer]

Yes ....I agree, what you said is - bang on NB - about looking at the similarities not the differences.
Feeling out of place or not Na does help me...... Looking back, if I hadn't pickup that phone and called them I'd be screwed right now.

I do enjoy my NA home group ....it's very laid back and comfortable.

Thanks you guys for your help.

[squirty]

((((Joe)))) I'm sorry the doctor upset you. They are good at that all over the world aren't they?! It seems to me that everything is quite text book for them - ya know black and white. Maybe it as something to do with him being one of the dealers effectively?! Just a thought.

I do know what you mean about mot fitting in. I did used to have problems with many other 'street' drugs, particularly coke but when I went to NA my main problem was the prescription pills (and alcohol). I never would have dreamed of going to NA for that. It was actually the encouragement of the good people here (including you!) and cus ((((Arura))) took me that I actually made it. When I listened to them I thought well I'm not that bad so I won't come back. Then I started to try and do what Arura told me - "listen for the similarities" and as soon as I did that I could relate to every single person in there. Then I remember going for coffee and they were all chatting with me. They could obviously see that I needed to be there more than I could see it cus they were encouraging me to come back and trying to help me.

I realised that it was true when they said they weren't interested in what or how much you've taken. It's also true that addiction leads to "Jails, Institutions and death." You and me will probably never do the first too with a pill addiction but we were most definitely heading for number 3 (as a good friend at NA pointed out to me when I said I felt a bit out of place).

Pleasse don't let the doctor's words upset you (((Joe))). You were so commited to NA before and has anyone there ever made you feel like you don't fit in? Really?

Hugs, Squirty xxx

[emmer]

Good point Squirty. Good point.

[Jane63]

{{emmer}} The rehab I went to was NA based and even though everything didn't always apply to me personally, I learned quite abit of tools there and from the few meetings I attended.

If it has been working for you then, IMHO, keep going!
Best wishes,
Jane

[PaperDolls]

Originally Posted by ccgirl

Emmer, addiction is addiction is addiction. Your doctor is an ass.

I can't say it better than ccgirl already did.

hugs emmer.

[woops]

Well - Emmer - as I am always trying to tell Barto - I really dont think that many doctors are clued up at all about addiction. They simply fail to grasp the concept.
I won't repeat what has been said above - as I agree with everyone.
Look for the similarities - not the differences - especially the similarities in how you feel............ There is nothing quite like talking to another person who has been thro it all. That's the reason I advised Squirts to go along to AA/NA - to meet people to whom she could relate - and I see from what she says above that she did - and she connected with everyone in the room - its just the same story being told by everyone. Don't you think?
I first went along to AA some 25 years ago now.................. and when I got hooked on benzos and then opiates - it was to my AA group that I turned for help. Same support and help as I had been given all those years ago re booze. My own low self esteem.................. my addictive behavour.......... In fact - many members told me off and said that if I had continued to attend my AA meetings regularly - and not stopped going - then I would never have ended up with a pill addiction - cos they would have all seen it coming and bashed some sense into me!
You know - I think they are right!!!
Enjoy your meetings Emmer - for its people - not theories or medication - which will get you thro all this.............. And always remember that you are helping everyone else at that meeting by your very presence........ just the way it all works?
Take care
woops
(just another prescription pill addict - the drugs supplied by my doctor - no back street drugs, dealers or shooting up - but nonetheless - an addict!! Just like you and everyone else in here)

[anvilhead]

the ONLY requirement for NA membership is a desire to stop using...We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what
you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do
about your problem and how we can help.

[Sugah]

I don't know that the doctor is as much a moron or an ass as he is uneducated about recovery. It's amazing to me the number of doctors who, in full knowledge that a patient is alcoholic, prescribes addictive mind & mood altering drugs and expects the patient not to abuse because "alcohol is the problem, not drugs."

The other thing...my understanding of "out there" is a mental state that leads back to using, not necessarily a physical place.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

P.S. Joe, if NA helps you, please....keep your seat. You know you've earned it.

[emmer]

Wow such good advise!
I had been on benzos for years ... I would take my prescription and get it filled and then in time I would ween my self off them because I hated being a slave to them.
The doctor knew I had problems with them but kept on writing out scrips.
Finally I told the doctor something I thought he could understand-
Instead of telling him -NO THANKS those things are too addictive.
I re-phrased it and said -NO THANKS I can't be trusted around those things.
Then me being me (an addict) I said, how about giving me a weeks worth and we'll see ya next week. The doc though that was a splended idea.

Walking out of the doctors office I knew I had just screwed myself over, once again.
In no time flat they stopped working and I let him up the dose again and again and again to the final dose of 13mg daily of klonopin.
I ended up walking out of that doctors office a full blown addict... I really was,and I knew it.
It was then that my wife phoned a friend of her's that has 25 years clean to talk to me. She listened to me , gave me some books and told me about NA.

I stuck it out with the doctor I have now ....even with his view of NA, because he doesn't prescibe benzos to anyone.
I feel safe that I won't have to go thru that nightmare ( at least in that respect) again.

[Sugah]

Joe, there's a reason that we're "one addict helping another" -- very often, the non-addicts don't and maybe can't understand.

My suggestion? Take medical advice from the doc & recovery suggestions from the addicts who've found a solution.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Barto]

I like to amend my earlier statement to say that if I agreed with your doctor (which I would, partially, if you didn’t abuse the drugs), it would be with regard to you needing NA, not that NA is for dope shooters only. But since you’ve abused [the hell out of] them, NA may be the right place for you.

Wish you success whatever you do. Hey, I have an idea. Why not try PA, AA, and NA to see where you feel most comfortable? They are not mutually exclusive.

[emmer]

Yes Shuga, one addict helping another is without parallel , I agree.
My sister is a non addict and although she doesn't understand addiction she was surprisingly very supportive when I shared with her that i was attending NA.
She wants to come to a meeting as a guest with me some day.
I wish all non-addicts were that understanding.

[ccgirl]

Emmer, I'm lucky too. My husband is understanding, my best friend works for an addiction treatment center and my other good friend is a psychiatric social worker who specializes in addiction.

[BeginAgain]

Emmer - hang in there and the next RX addict who comes along may feel just a little more like they belong there too. I agree with what I read here. It does not matter the drug - it is the addiction and the desire to stop using that binds us together. I felt alot like you when I first started NA a long time ago. I first looked at the differences but soon thankfully found the similarities. I came to realize - "but for the grace of god" I might have been in exactly the same situation. It is not a very hard leap to imagine if you think about the depths we will go to while actively using. Stick around and as Sugah said - keep your seat.

[2ala2]

Addiction is a pattern of thinking Emmer. The substance is irrelevant in my opinion.
NA is yours!
You're doing great.

[emmer]

Yes so true 2ala2 , It doesn't matter if the drug is heroin ,benzos,crack, meth...

I almost forgot ....The first time I phoned up NA, I talked to this guy and
I said that my problem was prescription benzos and he said it's like this-
It's heroin, crack , pain pills, tranquilizers,and then back to heroin.
I remember feeling relief.

[ccgirl]

Oh, Emmer, NA is a great program, but I've never had good luck on the phone with them! It sounds true everywhere, lol!