Daily Meditation...Lauguage of Letting Go

[northbelle]

July 18
"When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away"
---------------Elisabeth Kubler Ross, The Wheel Of Life"

Sometimes , we wait and wait for a painful situtaion to end. "When will he stop drinking? "When will she call?"When will this financial stuff get better?" When will I know what to do next?"
Life has its own timeline. As soon as we get the lesson, pain neutralizes, then disappears,
And the lesson is always ours,
Examine your life. Are you waiting for someone or something outside of you to happen to make you feel better? Are you waiting for someone to learn his or her lesson for your pain to stop? If you are, try turning inward, See what the lesson really is.

God, please show me what I'm supposed to be learning right now.


Taken from-The Langugage of Letting Go- Melody Beattie-Copyright 20000-hazeldon

[kittykat01]

Hey North! That's a great book! Love it. Thanks for this great post! I hope all is going well with you, I haven't seen you on any of my threads lately. But you have been in my thoughts and prayers....thanks for posting a great meditation...with much sober love to you....

[Alycia]

Beautifully said, I have the just for today book, is there another book that I can read along with that one, since it is only 1 pg a day? I would like one with stories of other ppl's lives, and how it worked for them, or anything inspirational. Thanks again for that wonderful post!

[northbelle]

July 19 Watch Your Nevers
Be careful what you say you'll never do again. You might be building a wall between you and the good in your life.
"He hurt me , so I'm never going to speak to him again . She hurt me, so I'm never going to get involved with women again".
Sometimes , our hurt feelings can be accurate and reliable warnings that we need to back off and stay away . But ususally when we say never, its because we don't want to be vulnerable adn feel teh hurt that came our way.
Saying never may be an indication that we've closed our hearts.
Have you built a wall with your "never's"? Look. Peek underneath. Is there aa feeling of hurt you need to feel, instead?
You got burned when you touched the hot stove, so you're never going to go near a stove again? You'll miss out on some tasty meals.

God, help me be vulnerable enough to feel my pain and learn my lesson, instead of saying never and building a big wall.

[margo]

Thanks, Northbelle!

Love the purple.

[Timebuster]

One of the don’ts I learn in recovery is never say never.

I never want to close my heart again.

Thanks

Peace and Love
Ivan

[northbelle]

Hey Alycia...I like stories too about people in recovery.!! I got a really good one at the library.."Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul". Also a REALLY good story about a gal in recovery is "From the Heart" by Melody Beatti.
The back of the NA and AA books both have really good stories in them too. Do you go to the library?? If not go to a used bookstore adn they always have lots of other meditation books..I'm a big book hound..If anyone else has anysuggestions of good reads, let me know!!!
love north

[northbelle]

July 20 Watch Your Nevers
Frank was a happily married man, or so he thought. Then one day , his wife of ten years came home adb toldd him that shw didn't feel like being married anymore. "I Love you. I"m just not in love with you" she said, walking out the door.
Frank was devastated. He got mad at his wife, and he stayed that way. He fumed and he generalized. He decided that all women must be this way and sooner or later anyone who got too close would hurt him.
Many of us experience hurt in life. It comes with the game.
Its okay to hurt ,to be angry, even to be bitter for awhile.
But no one is interested in hearing our lost love story ten years after it happened.
We even get sick of hearing it ourselves.
Sometimes it's time to nurture our pain. Sometimes it's time to get over it and get back in the game.
We all fall. Most people change their minds, We all make mistakes.
We don't have to let a bad experience in life prevent us from having positive experiences in the future. Walls are undiscriminate. While they may protect us from being hurt agaun , they also prevent us from experiencing joy

God, help me let go of self-sabotaging attitudes formed in a moment of hurt. Open me to the beauty that awaits when I approach life with a open heart.

[northbelle]

July 21 Maybe Its Not Supposed To Feel Good

Every Night for months, Laurie went home from work, turned on her computer and wrote and re-wrote the same thing "I hate my job" "I hate it" "I hate it. I hate it".
For six weeks in a row, Jonathan complained daily to his friends about his room mate; "I can't stand him. He's driving me nuts. I don't like him."
For years Right before falling asleep at night , Mindy calculated the number of years she thought it would be until her husband died and she was free from her wedding vows; "Just fifteen more years , then he'll be gone adn I can have a life
None of these people were going through what we call a "love-hate" relationship with their spouse, roommate or job. All three were invoved in hate- hate relationships.They all had one thing in common ; they felt guilty for how they felt . Laurie kept trying to make herself like her job; Jonathan turned himself inside out trying to get along wiith his roommate; Mindy continued trying to be a better wife.
Be patient with yourself if you have moments and times of not liking someone or something, whether it's your job , your rommate , your home, or your spouse. But if you're consistently and blatantly not liking someone or someplace, maybe it's time to move on.
Watch for patterns in your emotional responses to your life . If you're consistently responding to something of someone in a particulat way , entertain the possibility that that person , place of thing might have outworn its usefulness in your life.

God, grant me the wisdom to discern when my feelings are urging me to move on. Help. let go of my guilt about how I'm feeling and find a path with heart.

[northbelle]

July21 Taking Care of Myself
Today I will rememver that all of the change I am going through is stressful and that I need to take particularly good care of myself in these recovery months or years. I will get extra rest. Inner growth at this accelerated rate is exhausting adn I need more rest and sleep than usual. I will simpkify my life and make my day manageable , letting go of what does not really need to be accomplished and doing the baxics, I need time to process the changes taking place inside of me, empty. quiet time just to watch the clouds float by. I will do things that feel particularly good to me whatever they are. and I will eat well and exercise, these are challenging days, so I'll learn to be good to myself.
I fill my tank before I empty it

Do not make yourself low; people will tread on your head yiddish proverb


From the book Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving ON Tim Daytoncopyrght1992

[northbelle]

Wow , I really like the forgiving and moving on meditation better...it spoke oud and clear to me today!Maybe I will just use it from now on...melody's good too though!

[margo]

How about both? Two separate threads?

[northbelle]

sure..we'll do it that way

[northbelle]

Despair July 22

Today I will not run away from despair. The dark night of the soul comes before the dawn, I am not here only to feel good and to take life easy, Despair in recovery can mean that I am letting go of old ways of coping and trying to learn new ones, I am here to grow and to experience myself as a spiritual being connected on some mysterious level to all of life, If I deny myself my greatest pain, I will keep myself from from my deepest joy,There is a divine order in what appears to be chaos, there is a method in the madness, There will be lessons and quiet miracles, freedomfrom inner bondage and calm after turbulence .All that I go through has a purpose if I chooseto look at it that way. I trust that even though I cannot always see it, the universe in unfolding as it should.

I Trust That There Is A Plan For Me

You may not know it but at the far end of despair is a white clearing where one is almost happyJean Anouilh

[northbelle]

Boy this one speaks to me today,,,helps me make sense of the despair

[adoublelife]

Wow you're efforts are really shining! You are being very proactive in your recovery, and it's not easy always especially with the hurting. I really like this meditation idea, it helps me too! Thanks.

[northbelle]

Sorry I have been slacking..dealing with some major anxiety issues....I am on my way to a meeting so I will promise I will get back here afterwards
love north

[northbelle]

Controlling Others
I will show up for my life today. What matter is not the result of my day but that I lived it. When I try to live in the result rather than in the process. I forsce myself and others to conform to my idea of what things should be like. I lose my ability to let the day happen in my attempt to get it to look a particular way. I cannot possibly foresee all of the varables that enter my day before they enter it , and when I overcontrol, I leave out the potential for those who play a role. I also leave no room for my higher power or chance to work when I insist on a preconcieved format. It is good to be able to make plans for myself, but when I catch myself trying to control others within it, I will check to see what's going on with me at a deeper level.

I can let go of control of of others[/I][/B][/B]

Change your thoughts and you change your world
--------------------------------Norman Vinxcent Peale---------------------

From Forgiving and Moving On by Tian Dayton Ph.D. Copyright 1992

[ccgirl]

Mine is not nearly as deep or meaningful probably to many people; to me it is. It is words from my very favorite song. The lines go like this --- I need your grace, to remind me, to find my own. Those simple words speak to me.

[northbelle]

August 4th
FEAR
Today I will honor my little feelings of fear when they arise. Fear was planted into the animal side of our nature to protect us and the type of fear can still alert me potential danger. My fear can tell me that something is not good for me at the moment. I get into trouble. however, when I judge things and decide that because they aren't good for me, they aren't good for anyone and there is somthing wrong about them. I also need to remember to keep an open mind so that I can discern if the fear is helping me take care of myself or is holding me back in a world of hesitation and judgement . I will look at both possiblities.

I can look at my fear

There are times when fear is good .
It must keep its watchful place
at the hearts controls.
There is advantage in wisdom
Won from pain.

Aeschylus

[2ala2]

Filling The Emptiness
"..we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright."

Basic Text p.77

In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that.

So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled.

Now that we've been given our Higher Power's gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?

Just for today: I choose to live in the fullness of recovery. I will celebrate my conscious contact with the God of my understanding by freely sharing with others that which has been freely shared with me.

pg. 269

[Catherine W.]

I am newly sober, turned 41 in August and really hit bottom this summer with my sex and love addiction. The marijuana addiction is just not working for me anymore and for all I know, it has had something to do with clouding my judgment or numbing my pain in terms of needing to repeat the same lesson over and over again in romantic situations.

I am still so bent out of shape about how someone treated me - like I have not been treated since I was 25. I keep wondering when they will get theirs instead of getting to go around like a 48 year-old going on 20, clueless fun-time guy with

a lot of sex-appeal and who doesn't have to worry about getting attached to anyone or caring.

I've repeated this lesson so many times now that I honestly feel damaged by it in terms of now believing that I must really not want a good relationship. Maybe I just want to be like this guy.

But the real lesson is that since I am not sure what I want anymore due to low self-esteem probably, it is best that I finally get the clue that I should listen to my instincts and not play with fire anymore. I finally just got it.

I figure when I finally get it, I won't have to do this again. I will not only see it coming, but I won't attract it either.

The pain was too much this time. I love that book.

[michael35209]

Originally Posted by northbelle

July 18
"When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away"
---------------Elisabeth Kubler Ross, The Wheel Of Life"

Sometimes , we wait and wait for a painful situtaion to end. "When will he stop drinking? "When will she call?"When will this financial stuff get better?" When will I know what to do next?"
Life has its own timeline. As soon as we get the lesson, pain neutralizes, then disappears,
And the lesson is always ours,
Examine your life. Are you waiting for someone or something outside of you to happen to make you feel better? Are you waiting for someone to learn his or her lesson for your pain to stop? If you are, try turning inward, See what the lesson really is.

God, please show me what I'm supposed to be learning right now.


Taken from-The Langugage of Letting Go- Melody Beattie-Copyright 20000-hazeldon

Is this a book how to learn how to mediate? Thanks, Michael.
Taken from-The Langugage of Letting Go- Melody Beattie-Copyright 20000-hazeldon

[CatWings]

This is just what I needed to hear today. I've been having a rough time detaching from a romantic relationship with another pot-head and we got into an argument over email three days ago.

Everything was turned on me and I finally realized how irrational and defensive he is and so unwilling to take responsibility for anything. I was the bad guy. I had no reason to react though his stuff towards me was all so covert and insidious.

I think I was wanting him to just admit that he lied to me, etc..

I am on a new path to sobriety from marijuana addiction and I realize that I will never get a rational response out of this individual, he will always have his version of things in his head - his reasons to be happier without me.

Well, fine. I need to move on. That situation is never going to be a good one for me and I am glad finally that it is over.

[hauntedbyjmb]

Alycia,
I am praying for you. I am new here but felt touched by your tag on your post. I went with a friend to an NA meeting Thursday night and I was so moved by the stories of the ones with years of being clean but moreso with the people new in recovery and how much they hunger for being clean. God Bless you and may HE grant you your wish for not using. I ADMIRE YOU!