Tramadol... :(

[thiskidknows]

I've been reading several posts about the use of tramadol...when i started taken them I didn't realise they were addictive.

i'm on 50mg and back up to 10 a day and recentely have started taken more I have managed before to cut down, i've been cutting down on the drink but the less i drink, it seems the more I take tramadol.

I don't know if anyone has the same experiences with taken tramadol but for me, if I'm feeling really nervous, anxious or down i take a couple of tramadol and then I start to feel better, I guess its pyscological? After a while I get a bad headache and feel out of it, so i take another 2 and the pain eases for a bit and so they cycle for the day begins. When I wake in the morning, depending on how many I have taken, but the feeling can be worse then any hangover, the over day, was extremely bad I thought I was going to di*..

I seem to go from one problem to another...I can't go into rehab because of work, I am due to see someone on the 9th August..i've not been able to speak to my doctor, but I can my counsellor, she understands why I take them, which i won't say, sorry.

my pysciatrist did say to me when i first started seeing her that I have an addictive personaility....Random: I also drink on average about 4l of water a day (excluding all other drinks).

does anyone understand, please tell me I'm not as mad as I feel...???/?

[Peter]

I am an addict. One of the definitions I like for my addiction is;

"Taking something from the outside to feel good on the inside"

I can become addicted to sinus medication if I am not careful.

I am abusing drugs when I take a medication prescribed for a sinus condition because I am feeling "nervous, anxious or down "

It took me a long time to understand that if I am feeling nervous or anxious then perhaps talking with someone could help me feel better and also writng down on paper all the things that are making me feel anxious helps me to properly identify my fears and to put them in perspective.

I get down sometimes. Feeling down is a far cry from depression but I still do not like feeling down. I have this belief that I am "supposed to feel good all the time" and that is an unrealistic expectation I have of myself.

I can never insulate myself from all the pain in life and I cannot continue to use drugs to maximize my demand for "feeling good"

[Brewster]

Peter;

I was just having this same discussion today with a "co-recoverer".

Our discussion resolved to our "wanting to feel good all the time" and not wanting to deal with the issues that affect everyone's life. Addiction makes it easy to do that. "Don't deal with it, take a pill".

Excellent advice too, about writing down problems and gaining a better perspective. I've done that a bit lately and found my daydreams started revolving around solving my problems. Amazing.

thiskidknows;

This is the place to be. There are a lot of Tramadol users that post here. Also there is a lot of experience with opiate w/d on the board too. From what I've read though the Tram sound insidous.

I've been sober for a bit over a year. Do what you have to. It rocks.

[thiskidknows]

Something that was said to me, is that once u have one addiction u have a tendancy to become addictive to anything and that I have an addictive personality.........is this true...am I now caught in a vicious circle of addictions?

[Peter]

In your first post you mentioned that your counsellor said; "you have an addictive persnality"

I am not a counsellor and I could not say whether or not you are caught in a "vicious cycle of addiction".

I can only speak for myself and what I do know is that if there is such a thing as "addictive personality" then I am a prime candidate for it. I can develop an obsession with anything and everything if it helps me to feel good or to avoid dealing with painful issues.

I have to remind myself everyday to limit my coffee consumption because the tiny lift I get from caffeine fools my brain into thinking that another two or three cups will take me even higher. Too much coffee gives me indigestion and keeps me up at night. I love diet coke and it is still hard for me to stop myself from gulping down an entire half liter bottle of dc even when I am full to capacity and burping.

I have had issues with working. I love my profession and I get a rush from all the activity and rushing around issuing directives and getting things done. I have used work as an excuse to avoid dealing with painful relationship issues with my spouse.I have people I can delegate to do most of the work but I still choose to do it myself because it is an "avoidance tactic".

My greatest defense against my "addictive personality" is knowledge. I have a voracious appetite for information related to addictions and recovery. I have gained more insight about myself and my behaviour from years of recovery in 12 Step fellowships (AA, NA, Coda, SLAA).

Information and being able to recognize dysfunction when it starts helps to keep me in check.

Learn as much as you can about your condition. You will even find that you have been placed in a wonderful position to be able to help gain wisdom and move on to help others.