60 days clean

[Lizrox]

Well today is day 60 for me and I'm feeling great (besides the tinnitus). I don't count the Klonopin. I don't abuse it; or take it to get high.


Before I got clean I was a wreck. I looked like H-ll and felt like h-ll. I never got dressed up. I never did my hair and make-up. I always yelled at my husband and hated spending time with my daughter. I thought it was like a chore. As soon as my husband got home from work I went straight up to bed. My biggest mission was to find a dr that would write me a script for Vicodin or Ultram. When I didn't have pills to abuse I bought wine. I didn't have or even want to get a job. I had no energy. I never went out of the house; unless it was to get pills or pick up some wine coolers and drink them at 7am in the morning.

Now I feel like a different person. During the past month I've bought a whole bunch of new jeans and tank tops. I bought a whole bunch of jewelry off e-bay. I even purchased some great new shoes. I have a shoe phetish (sp)? I got my hair highlighted blonde; I love it. Spending time with my daughter and husband is so much fun. I go out with a GREAT friend I met in rehab. We have so much fun together. I got a job working at a beauty supply store 35 hours a week. My daughter will be in daycare 3 days a week instead of 5. My husband has built up some trust and now will let me be home alone with my daughter. In the beggining he said no. I have energy now!!! I love going out.

Ina couple of months I plan on enrolling myself in beauty school. I would like to become a licenced cosmetolgist.

I know I have alot of more work to do. I am not cured; I will never be cured.

Drugs turn you into a different person. They are not the solution to everyday problems. Drugs suck and will lead to JAILS, INSTITUTIONS, and DEATH. I've already been in an institution, I've been close to death many times; whats next? Jail or death? Not for me!!!!

Thanks to evryone that have supported me through my difficult times. Boy was I a real mess.

Liz

[ccgirl]

Wow Liz! What a different woman from the one whose journey I read when I first came here. I applaud you.

[mikiglen]

how'd you do it this time, liz, what changed for you?

[2ala2]

Congratulations Liz.
I hope you will one day be off the Klonopin too.
It just gets better, harder but better.

[Lizrox]

"how'd you do it this time, liz, what changed for you"?

Misti,

I had 2 options.

Option #1- If I had gone on using and getting high my husband would have divorced me, I would have lost custody of my daughter and probably would have lost my house. My husband would have needed it to raise my daughter. I would have gone on living like a hermit, isolating myself, getting high; for what? NOTHING. I had nothing to gain from getting high.

Option #2- stop using and to get on with my life. Using gets us nowwhere.

I think option 2 sounds better.

In rehab I learned how to cope with problems WITHOUT using drugs. I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with cravings. I learned what various drugs do too our body. All of the patients there were so nice. I realized how darn nice people could be when they weren't using.

Monday through Friday from 8pm-9pm they had recovering addicts come in too tell us there stories. They would talk about using, losing there kids, losing husbands, wives; etc. Most of them rebuilt there lives and had several years clean.

Only you can decide if you are ready Misti.

Liz

[Jane63]

CONGRATS {{LIZ}}!!! You should be proud!!!
Jane

[Alycia]

I am proud of you. That is awesome. I dream of a life like that, and learn now it works out, if you work it right!

[Alera]

Originally Posted by Lizrox

Only you can decide if you are ready Misti.

Liz

How true this is. For me, I wanted to remember what I had read for my classes. I didn't want to risk having to be taken to the ER because I was nodding. For everyone it is different.

Lizrox, I am so proud of you! Congrats on your 60 days.

Originally Posted by Lizrox

In rehab I learned how to cope with problems WITHOUT using drugs. I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with cravings. I learned what various drugs do too our body. All of the patients there were so nice. I realized how darn nice people could be when they weren't using.

Sounds like a great rehab. Learning my triggers and how to deal with cravings was half the battle for me.

[butterflylover]

Congrats Liz! You've come a long way. Keep up the good work!!

God Bless

[Hope]

I'm so proud of you!
WOW!!

You've came a long way.

I loved your post!!

[PaperDolls]

good job Liz. I'm proud of you.

[Patient Dreams]

Want and desire is 90% of the battle. Sound like you're doing great.

[t_a_n_y_a_]

You really give me hope Liz Congrats. Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it