Helpful Advice?

[crankygeek411]

Well, to begin, let me say that I am 17, and I have a drug problem.

I do Vicodin, Ambien, Clonazepam, Xanax, and basically whatever else I can get my hands on.

So, I would just like to ask if anyone here has any helpful advice, because I have taken my last pills today (Vicodin, in case it matters) and I refuse to do any more.

So far I feel okay, but I know in the coming weeks it will be hard. Especially since it is summer vacation and I have nothing to do. The little voice saying "take me!! take me!!!" will start back up again and lead me back down the slippery slope.

So, any words of wisdom, or anything really would be much appreciated. Thanks.

[northbelle]

No words of wisdom really but I am glad you are here. I got into pills at your age too..pretty much the same. One thing I do know is this..It NEVER gets any better..if using has started having its miserable times too when you hate yourself for using..or craving drugs so much it is all you can think about...well it will ALWAYS be that way..it gets worse..NEVER better...I also really believe I messed up my brain chemistry by using at such a young age..Addiction will probably always be a part of your life in one way or another...Fortunately sobriety offers a way to lead a happy life..probably BETTER than if you weren't ever a addict.
We get the chance to be there for other people who really need us and I believe we learn so much that normal people never know...there is a feeling of felllowship among addicts that is pretty awesome..but I hope you are NOT one!! Only you can say for sure!!
Keep posting here and get to know others and let us get to knowyou!!! Thanx for posting!
love north

PS_ so why did you decide to quit using??

[crankygeek411]

Thanks north.

I decided to quit using because I realized how much it runs my life. I realized how little control I have. I want to go to college, to become something great, like a psychologist or a computer scientist. I have certification for working on computers, and I want to expand on that.

I also realized the terrible path that I am leading myself down if I keep using. Stealing drugs from family members and such. It makes me feel so horrible all the time.

I did some self reflection after I used earlier today. I broke down in tears realizing what I had known all along: that I am an addict and I am ruining my life slowly.

That's why I made up my mind and told myself that today is the day to begin the long road to recovery.

[Spiritual Seeker]

Tell a parent about your situation. Ask them to help you. Communicate openly with them.
Get friends that have plans for their life and don't do drugs

[crankygeek411]

Originally Posted by Spritual Seeker

Tell a parent about your situation. Ask them to help you. Communicate openly with them.
Get friends that have plans for their life and don't do drugs

I always use alone. My friends don't know the extent of my drug use. They know I've done some here and there, but they would freak if they knew how much I've done. And I am glad to have friends like that.

About my parents... I don't think I can just yet. I need to build up to that. They will be so ashamed. Their "perfect" child, the one that wasn't supposed to be into drugs like her sister, turns out to be just like her. I can't let them down like that. At least not yet. But thank you for your advice.

[grrrr]

[quote=crankygeek411;1399966]I always use alone. My friends don't know the extent of my drug use. They know I've done some here and there, but they would freak if they knew how much I've done. And I am glad to have friends like that. QUOTE]

I mostly used alone as well. I am now glad to have friends and family that know I need help. Asking for help is important and sometimes it means keeping the friends that understand and getting rid of the friends that don't. I know this is not easy. Take it one day and one friend at a time.

K

[crankygeek411]

[quote=grrrr;1399976]

Originally Posted by crankygeek411

I always use alone. My friends don't know the extent of my drug use. They know I've done some here and there, but they would freak if they knew how much I've done. And I am glad to have friends like that. QUOTE]

I mostly used alone as well. I am now glad to have friends and family that know I need help. Asking for help is important and sometimes it means keeping the friends that understand and getting rid of the friends that don't. I know this is not easy. Take it one day and one friend at a time.

K

Thank you.

[Spiritual Seeker]

I am the mother of an 23 yr.old addict that started using at your age. Now his life is a mess compared to others his age who are not addicts. If he had told me at age 17 I would not have been anything but available to get him the help he needed. This is a progressive disease. The earlier you get treatment the better chance you have to get your life back on track to be all that you can be. Getting the help you need will make your parents proud. Recovery involve HONESTY.

[grrrr]

Thanks for the post Spiritual Seeker, my mom is sooo supportive, but it was embarassing to talk to her at first. I think we should all give our parents a fair chance to help, especially when we are young. Doesnt mean they will all be great, but worth a try...

jrm, keep recovery going for yourself, but it will require help from those who care and love you.

[grrrr]

I mean crankygeek, h*ll, i am a geek, how could we wish THAT upon anyone?? feel free to PM me, maybe we could talk shop as well...

[crankygeek411]

Grrrr and Spritual Seeker:

I'm working on getting to tell my parents. Right now, I just don't feel as if I can. I'm trying though. Thanks for your support.

[Spiritual Seeker]

Do you have any relative (aunt, cousin, grandparent) that you can talk to 1st and have them with you when you tell your parents. Can you write it out and give them a letter, would that be a way to start the communication.

[croakaine]

Originally Posted by crankygeek411

Grrrr and Spritual Seeker:

I'm working on getting to tell my parents. Right now, I just don't feel as if I can. I'm trying though. Thanks for your support.

My parents caught me in the act. Even though at the time it was the worst thing that I felt could happen, in the long run it gave me the strength and courage to face a few home truths. The only regret I have about that time was that I wasnt honest with them and they found out by accident. I think if I'd been honest they would have been proud that I'd had the courage and that I trusted them enough to go to them. That's what hurt them more than anything. The fact that they felt i couldn't rely on them.

Situations like this always seem worse than they are. I promise you that. If your parents love you, trust them to support you through this. They may be angry and disappointed and shout or cry. But I would bet my life that after the initial shock they will be the ones that are key to getting you through this. There is nothing better than having your mom and dad by your side.

[mikiglen]

sounds like you have a good head on, but have you ever been through the physical detox before? do you know what to expect and are you ready for that part of it? a lot of people relapse when they start getting sick...just wondered if you are prepared?

[squirty]

Hi crankygeek (funny name!)

Just wanted to say hi and offer my support.

Please do something now to sort this out. Do it now while you are young. I think everyone here wishes they sorted it out at your age. You are very insightful for your age and have done well to recognise that this is a problem. Like north and the others said - it will only get worse. I worry especially cus of the fact you use in secret. This is wat I always did - well I had a secret addiction to painkillers and a more 'social' problem with other drugs and booze. It's the secret addiction that was so powerful, dangerous and all-consuming though. Keep talking about it - as these lovely people told me here, then it starts to lose it's power.

Hugs to you.

Squirty x