took my 3 & 6 Month tag - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

emmer · 05-30-2007, 09:03 PM

Hi, I just toke my 3 & 6 Month tag last thursday. I was a bit late in taking them but it feels good. That being said I am really stressed and depressed....oh well.

northbelle · 05-30-2007, 09:41 PM

Emmer!! Whats going on in your life???
love north

**margo** · 05-30-2007, 10:25 PM

Hi Emmer! Look how far you have come! Congratulations on your clean time - you are an inspiration! I'm sorry you're going through some difficult emotional stuff. Keep the faith and this too shall pass. Be very proud of yourself!

Spiritual Seeker · 05-30-2007, 11:43 PM

You may be stressed + depressed but at least you're sober which makes you better equipped to handle it. Progress not perfection. 6 mos. thats terrific!!

***Time2Surrender*** · 05-31-2007, 12:52 AM

Congrats on the key tags. Hang in there. Be good to yourself. You deserve it.

ccgirl · 05-31-2007, 04:33 AM

The tags are wonderful. But, is there a particular thing going on in your life making you depressed?

emmer · 06-01-2007, 06:11 AM

HI, I am still clean , but I'm really stressed right now in my life and getting depressed (job stress) The industry I'm in right now looks bleak to say the least and someone I'm working with is a major s--t head. I used to love going to work ,now I can't wait for it to end.
Sometimes I feel like vomiting. And I have other issues in my life also.
....... Crap!

northbelle · 06-01-2007, 12:42 PM

Not trying to make light of what you said at all..
But really THINK GOD you have OTHER issues!!
Because when we are using it is ALL about the addiction and we don't GET lives..become a employee of our disease, if you will.
I mean I have just felt like a SLAVE , being sick..I never want to do this again..I want a s###head at work to stress my out!!!
Joe you deserve to be happy..I know that for sho. Don't settle for depressed,,cause it will get you loaded ..maybeyou could talk more about whats going on and it would help..don't be ashamed ..you deserve to be HEARD..and you never really share too much here..JUST A THOUGHT..trying to help..!! why..cause you are my bro!! You have held me up when I was on my last leg before..I am here for you!!
love north
love north

cali · 06-01-2007, 01:03 PM

Yup-I feel that was sometimes about work. I try to quickly make a gratitude list in my head. I also think of something someone at my home group says:

Quote:

"If we all threw our problems in the middle of the room-I'd take mine back"

hope you are feeling better

**margo** · 06-01-2007, 01:47 PM

Hey Emmer - we are here for you if you want to talk, vent, whatever. Sometimes just getting your thoughts out of your head into print is a big stress reliever. You don't have to be looking for answers, sometimes we just need someone to listen and send a hug or some encouragement. I'm really sorry you've got so much job stress - it's very scary to think about the possibility of losing a job and your income. Have you looked into retraining programs? There are often government-sponsored retraining programs available when whole industries are going down the tube. Something to look into maybe? Being proactive about a problem can really give you a psychological boost and keep you from getting into a victim mode. I've had to work with major sh*theads too and it's no fun. Do your best not to get sucked into their sickness (easier said than done, I know).

Hugs!

emmer · 06-01-2007, 07:13 PM

Thanks you guys, for caring . I'm find i hard to open up and talk because i am not a good typist (1 finger). and i never know what to say, i am in the danger zone because i sleep when i'm really stressed, i mean i like to sleep alot when I'm stressed.
i like not having to sit around shaking because of nerves. i can;t stop thinking of my doc clonazepam (klonopin) I know you have dealt with this evil drug my friend norbelle. and so have i yet it seems that its all i want. it almost killed me last time and i know it bad stuff, I probably couldn't get any anyway but. still.
I have decided to keep going to n.a. ( i hadn't been in awhile) because if its not benzos then it'll be an opiate or pot or whatever. Last time i was withdrawaling from klonpin i wanted someone to end my life, i wasn't brave enough thankfully. someone my wife knows who has about 25 years clean from everything under the sun, told me to go to n.a and she gave me some books. anyway i'm starting to bable on. again thank-you so much for caring.

northbelle · 06-01-2007, 08:42 PM

Cool emmer..it is just good to get to know you better. I mean I know a few things about you..like you are a kick butt guitar player!!
That is one of the hardest things for me being clean is anxiety. Sometimes it gets really bad and I MISPLACE everything..I will be trying to get out the door..can't find my bus pass..purse..forgetful as all get out and really unorganized IN MY HEAD..it is sooo frustrating to me because I used to take klonopin and organize all my drawers and stuff..it helped me slow down my head..BUT in the end I went pretty much into BLACKOUT on em'!!! Last time I went to the mall and STOLE a bunch of stuff!!! You guys please believe that is NOT something I normally do for the love of god!!! I was scared by what I had done for days.
I know my emotional system has NEVER been the same since abusing benzo's...and the few times I relapsed it sent me into a total depression and the relief was NOT the same as the euphoric recall I was having about benzo's..
Emmer do you have any kids??? Just wondering...
I am so proud of you for hanging on to your job like you have..remembet thinking you were unemployable???? I hang on to your story my friend as I am fighting the demons again ..and trying to fit back into the world ..
I am so glad you aer here and talking to us!! Please post again..
love north

emmer · 06-04-2007, 07:38 PM

Thanks guys thanks North.. I have no kids north..just 2 cats.
I was (and am @ times) just 2 emotionaly unstable 2 have kids....sometimes i wished i had kids but now i'm turning 46 in a few months and i'm too old.
My life took a turn for the worse when i was 15 and i was never the same afterwards. Yep klonopin is a bitch to withdrawal from...I asked a medical detox about taking me on when i was addicted to K and they said no way !! Not till your down to 1-1.5 mg because its too dangerous.
When the doctor gave me Klonopin I knew it was going to be a disaster because I knew i would abuse them but i lied to my wife and myself about being in control.
what a joke that was......in control, ya right!
I think i started abusing them right from the first day.....some control. lol
I;m surprized i didn't woof the whole bottle down the first day plastic and all.
Funny how we addicts think- I used coedine to with drawal from K.
Not a good idea - because then i had a brand new addiction. In fact 2 addictions going at once. Anyhow its dinner time and im rambling on. bye for now ....joe

05-30-2007, 09:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,641	took my 3 & 6 Month tag Hi, I just toke my 3 & 6 Month tag last thursday. I was a bit late in taking them but it feels good. That being said I am really stressed and depressed....oh well.

05-30-2007, 10:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
margo Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,747	Hi Emmer! Look how far you have come! Congratulations on your clean time - you are an inspiration! I'm sorry you're going through some difficult emotional stuff. Keep the faith and this too shall pass. Be very proud of yourself! __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~

05-31-2007, 12:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,334 Blog Entries: 3	Congrats on the key tags. Hang in there. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

06-01-2007, 01:47 PM	#10 (permalink)
margo Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,747	Hey Emmer - we are here for you if you want to talk, vent, whatever. Sometimes just getting your thoughts out of your head into print is a big stress reliever. You don't have to be looking for answers, sometimes we just need someone to listen and send a hug or some encouragement. I'm really sorry you've got so much job stress - it's very scary to think about the possibility of losing a job and your income. Have you looked into retraining programs? There are often government-sponsored retraining programs available when whole industries are going down the tube. Something to look into maybe? Being proactive about a problem can really give you a psychological boost and keep you from getting into a victim mode. I've had to work with major shtheads too and it's no fun. Do your best not to get sucked into their sickness (easier said than done, I know). Hugs! __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.* ~Ojibwe saying~

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05-30-2007, 09:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
northbelle Dopeless Hope Fiend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: anchorage Alaska Posts: 1,674	Emmer!! Whats going on in your life??? love north

05-30-2007, 11:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Spiritual Seeker get it, give it, grow in it Join Date: May 2007 Location: Calif coast Posts: 2,143	You may be stressed + depressed but at least you're sober which makes you better equipped to handle it. Progress not perfection. 6 mos. thats terrific!!

05-31-2007, 04:33 AM	#6 (permalink)
ccgirl Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Harwich, MA Posts: 2,593	The tags are wonderful. But, is there a particular thing going on in your life making you depressed?

06-01-2007, 06:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,641	HI, I am still clean , but I'm really stressed right now in my life and getting depressed (job stress) The industry I'm in right now looks bleak to say the least and someone I'm working with is a major s--t head. I used to love going to work ,now I can't wait for it to end. Sometimes I feel like vomiting. And I have other issues in my life also. ....... Crap!

06-01-2007, 12:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
northbelle Dopeless Hope Fiend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: anchorage Alaska Posts: 1,674	Not trying to make light of what you said at all.. But really THINK GOD you have OTHER issues!! Because when we are using it is ALL about the addiction and we don't GET lives..become a employee of our disease, if you will. I mean I have just felt like a SLAVE , being sick..I never want to do this again..I want a s###head at work to stress my out!!! Joe you deserve to be happy..I know that for sho. Don't settle for depressed,,cause it will get you loaded ..maybeyou could talk more about whats going on and it would help..don't be ashamed ..you deserve to be HEARD..and you never really share too much here..JUST A THOUGHT..trying to help..!! why..cause you are my bro!! You have held me up when I was on my last leg before..I am here for you!! love north love north

06-01-2007, 07:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,641	Thanks you guys, for caring . I'm find i hard to open up and talk because i am not a good typist (1 finger). and i never know what to say, i am in the danger zone because i sleep when i'm really stressed, i mean i like to sleep alot when I'm stressed. i like not having to sit around shaking because of nerves. i can;t stop thinking of my doc clonazepam (klonopin) I know you have dealt with this evil drug my friend norbelle. and so have i yet it seems that its all i want. it almost killed me last time and i know it bad stuff, I probably couldn't get any anyway but. still. I have decided to keep going to n.a. ( i hadn't been in awhile) because if its not benzos then it'll be an opiate or pot or whatever. Last time i was withdrawaling from klonpin i wanted someone to end my life, i wasn't brave enough thankfully. someone my wife knows who has about 25 years clean from everything under the sun, told me to go to n.a and she gave me some books. anyway i'm starting to bable on. again thank-you so much for caring.

06-01-2007, 08:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
northbelle Dopeless Hope Fiend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: anchorage Alaska Posts: 1,674	Cool emmer..it is just good to get to know you better. I mean I know a few things about you..like you are a kick butt guitar player!! That is one of the hardest things for me being clean is anxiety. Sometimes it gets really bad and I MISPLACE everything..I will be trying to get out the door..can't find my bus pass..purse..forgetful as all get out and really unorganized IN MY HEAD..it is sooo frustrating to me because I used to take klonopin and organize all my drawers and stuff..it helped me slow down my head..BUT in the end I went pretty much into BLACKOUT on em'!!! Last time I went to the mall and STOLE a bunch of stuff!!! You guys please believe that is NOT something I normally do for the love of god!!! I was scared by what I had done for days. I know my emotional system has NEVER been the same since abusing benzo's...and the few times I relapsed it sent me into a total depression and the relief was NOT the same as the euphoric recall I was having about benzo's.. Emmer do you have any kids??? Just wondering... I am so proud of you for hanging on to your job like you have..remembet thinking you were unemployable???? I hang on to your story my friend as I am fighting the demons again ..and trying to fit back into the world .. I am so glad you aer here and talking to us!! Please post again.. love north

06-04-2007, 07:38 PM	#13 (permalink)
emmer The lion sleeps tonight Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 1,641	Thanks guys thanks North.. I have no kids north..just 2 cats. I was (and am @ times) just 2 emotionaly unstable 2 have kids....sometimes i wished i had kids but now i'm turning 46 in a few months and i'm too old. My life took a turn for the worse when i was 15 and i was never the same afterwards. Yep klonopin is a bitch to withdrawal from...I asked a medical detox about taking me on when i was addicted to K and they said no way !! Not till your down to 1-1.5 mg because its too dangerous. When the doctor gave me Klonopin I knew it was going to be a disaster because I knew i would abuse them but i lied to my wife and myself about being in control. what a joke that was......in control, ya right! I think i started abusing them right from the first day.....some control. lol I;m surprized i didn't woof the whole bottle down the first day plastic and all. Funny how we addicts think- I used coedine to with drawal from K. Not a good idea - because then i had a brand new addiction. In fact 2 addictions going at once. Anyhow its dinner time and im rambling on. bye for now ....joe

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