Back after 8 (contin)

[LostForever]

sorry to start a new thread but I am not able to post on my thread. it keeps asking for my login and rejecting it yet I can log in and access my profile...?
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Thank you to those who replied. I am doing a little better today. I am down to 10mg now. I am breaking it up 5 in the am and 5 in the pm to get me through the night. I don't know know if that is hurting me or helping me. The nights are the worst for me though.

I was able to see a doctor who gave me Ambien. Is that ok to take right now? It will help me sleep hopefully. I wasn't sure about that with the meth but I am on a pretty low doseage.

Maybe my body will start adjusting to less methadone and since I stopped the H that should be out of my system by now. It's been a week since I last used it.

I don't really know much about this stuff. My ex was the expert. He's been using for 10 years. I did for one only.

I've been gone from him for 5 days now. No contact. I won't call him. I can't go back to that life. It just stinks that I have lost everything I worked so hard for. I don't even have a pair of sweats or pj's to put on. Nothing. I guess that gives me an excuse to get new things eventually... sigh...

I'm going to try to detox on my own if I can. The places here do it in 5 days. I have enough meth for 2 weeks. Do you think I can do it? I am doing 2 - 3 days on a dose before going down. The last bit will be difficult I know. I got down to 7.5 once but that was as low as I was able to go before I went right back. Now that I am out of that environment I don't have any access to substances anymore. It was all through him. So I really have no choice.

I can't wait to get through this and get back to normal. I just want to be free of this crap. I hate it and what it is doing to my body and mind.

What it has done to my life. Now I am at rock bottom.

Thanks for all the support and words of encouragement. This is really hard for me and at least once every hour I just want to rip my hair out and scream and give up.

But so far I haven't...one day at a time.

[northbelle]

Good girl!! I am really happy for you!! I know it doesn't seem like much to be happy about right now but I was where you are at witha guy before too...I remember leaving with my 3month old baby and went to a shelter and just started over ..from NOTHING...but I felt like I was dying where I was at...he always shot me up,,,I never did it myself , had never even tried H before till I was with him. I wanted to stop and he wanted to keep going into oblivion so I just took off. I remember I had a script for klonopin and that was it..the ambien MAY help you sleep . I don't know..you know it is hard after using heroin and methadone to find much that calms us into sleep!!! But it may work ..tryit...so do ou hav e a place to stay right now? I think it is GREAT that you left where you were..now just seek out support in recovery...what about NA???
You should be really proud of what you are doing. feels like hell but I swear you can get through the withdrawals....it took me about 10 days to feel like I was going to make it...I had really bad leg cramps....you will be ok..especially since you have weaned yourself a little..can't hurt..might help..
Keep posting..tell us what is going on as often as you want ! It really helps to knwo you are not alone!!
love north