I think I relapsed
wants life back
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Pulaski, Virginia
Posts: 44
I think I relapsed
Yesterday morning I had a seizure (I don't know if it was related to my detox or something else) fell down some stairs and cracked 3 ribs. I was sent to the hospital and the doctor (not knowing of my addictions) gave me 10 mg lortab. I was hurting very bad so I took one not knowing of the hellish day I would end up having with them. Out of 30 I ate 20 of them in a 10 hour peroid. I called my mom and she took them from me and flushed them. I went back to the hospital for a check up and I am ok as the lortabs did no damage but I was given 2 xanax shots and some clonidine for the withdraws. I told the doctor of what I have been doing the past week (self detoxing from opiate addiction) and he said it was a good thing but I should have gotten something like clonidine in the first place to detox. I am just glad this nightmare day is over and I am ok. BTW I am taking toradol (non narcotic) for my various pains now as well as physical therapy. I will be ok.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
First, I'm sorry to hear about your ribs. That's got to be painful, and I'll say a prayer that you heal quickly.
Second, this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm not a doctor, but I do know that one of the things clonidine is used for in detox is to prevent spikes in blood pressure, which can (and may have in your case) occur during detox. So perhaps something good has come of this...not only the treatment with the clonidine, but also the honesty you've had with the doctor. Having the doctor on your side is a good thing.
Re: the toradol...I think that I was prescribed that for an impacted molar in early recovery. If it's what I remember (someone will correct me if I'm wrong, I hope), it has anti-inflammatory properties, so watch your stomach. Be sure to eat when you take it.
Keep truckin', ABT4LIFE. And try not to beat yourself up over this. Your ribs are enough to deal with right now!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Second, this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm not a doctor, but I do know that one of the things clonidine is used for in detox is to prevent spikes in blood pressure, which can (and may have in your case) occur during detox. So perhaps something good has come of this...not only the treatment with the clonidine, but also the honesty you've had with the doctor. Having the doctor on your side is a good thing.
Re: the toradol...I think that I was prescribed that for an impacted molar in early recovery. If it's what I remember (someone will correct me if I'm wrong, I hope), it has anti-inflammatory properties, so watch your stomach. Be sure to eat when you take it.
Keep truckin', ABT4LIFE. And try not to beat yourself up over this. Your ribs are enough to deal with right now!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
X IV
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
clonidine is used during withdrawal for many reason but primarily for anxiety. When you go through withdrawal your brain creates huge amount of adrenaline. It makes your heart race, your legs move...etc etc... clonidine blocks some of the production of that adrenaline. 
Makes you rest better during withdrawal.
Makes you rest better during withdrawal.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Posts: 828
Ouch, ABT4
I've never had cracked ribs, ouch. Learn from the experience--the doc didn't know when he Rx'd Lortab but you did, and proceded to eat, eat, eat. Just remember to own responsiblity, that's all.
Ten
Just remember to own responsiblity, that's all.Ten
wants life back
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Pulaski, Virginia
Posts: 44
Yea, I did make a very bad choice. I actually didn't think the lortabs would hurt me like that as I have never in the past really liked them (morphine was my doc) but boy was I wrong and I now know that very well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Gatlinburg, TN
Posts: 244
I've had a minor relapse or two. What I found though, is that now that I've made the effort and put so much emphasis on sobriety I simply can't enjoy taking opiates anymore. I remember the pain of withdrawal, the hassle of trying to procure them as well as how uncomplicated life is not taking them.
It's like I went back to the opium oasis and it was gone. Nothing left but a pill behind a curtain.
It's like I went back to the opium oasis and it was gone. Nothing left but a pill behind a curtain.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1
A little bit of me. For the first 6 months of getting off Heroin, i was an absolute mess, don't think a day went by when i didn't cry or wished i would just die so that i wouldn't have to deal with the constant wrestling of trying not to use. I got to a point where i was sick and tired of being sick and tired of dealing with life. I tried everything over the years, i mean everything, rapid detox twice $3500 each time, methodone, Buprenorphine, Subutex, etc..... Someone i knew said to me try Jesus! He will give you a new life, a second chance at life. WHAT the $%#@ has he done for me, look what ive done where i am
if he loves me like you say he does, why the $#@% have i gone through all this. "you made the choice, you made the choice to stick a needle in your arm, take pills, smoke pot, he gave everyone freedom of choice, now you have the choice of changing all that NOW". Anyway to cut a veeeeerry long story short. About a month later, i did try JESUS, while crying myself to sleep as usual i just asked him if he is real to forgive me for everything ive done to others, and what i had done to myself, (with all my heart & soul). I'll never forget that night as long as i live....... It wasn't and is not, nor will ever be that i never think about those times anymore, i hate to say it, BUT it gets much less frequent and the voice in my head that wants me to feel that high again gets softer, whenever i start feeling/thinking stupid things, I just say here you go God you take care of this, i dont want to deal with it. and he does. It has now been over 6 years now with 1 LAPSE no relapses. And the one time happened after 2 years of thinking i was in control of the situation, (i dont have a problem, im in control) i know now i will always have a problem with drugs, and can never be in control with them, BUT i know i'll never have to be cause the man upstairs will take care of that dark past of mine........
From 10 years of drug abuse/crime and hurting people. I now have a successful job, am married, house, nice car, clothes. I still sometimes laugh to myself of how my life has dramatically changed. Never thought i'd get here.
I'm not saying this is the only way for everyone. But it worked for me, if you are truly sick of your life at the moment, you've got nothing to lose but everything to gain, you might be surprised of the result yourself..........
take care,
think about one day at a time, tomorrow will take care of it self....
if he loves me like you say he does, why the $#@% have i gone through all this. "you made the choice, you made the choice to stick a needle in your arm, take pills, smoke pot, he gave everyone freedom of choice, now you have the choice of changing all that NOW". Anyway to cut a veeeeerry long story short. About a month later, i did try JESUS, while crying myself to sleep as usual i just asked him if he is real to forgive me for everything ive done to others, and what i had done to myself, (with all my heart & soul). I'll never forget that night as long as i live....... It wasn't and is not, nor will ever be that i never think about those times anymore, i hate to say it, BUT it gets much less frequent and the voice in my head that wants me to feel that high again gets softer, whenever i start feeling/thinking stupid things, I just say here you go God you take care of this, i dont want to deal with it. and he does. It has now been over 6 years now with 1 LAPSE no relapses. And the one time happened after 2 years of thinking i was in control of the situation, (i dont have a problem, im in control) i know now i will always have a problem with drugs, and can never be in control with them, BUT i know i'll never have to be cause the man upstairs will take care of that dark past of mine........
From 10 years of drug abuse/crime and hurting people. I now have a successful job, am married, house, nice car, clothes. I still sometimes laugh to myself of how my life has dramatically changed. Never thought i'd get here.
I'm not saying this is the only way for everyone. But it worked for me, if you are truly sick of your life at the moment, you've got nothing to lose but everything to gain, you might be surprised of the result yourself..........
take care,
think about one day at a time, tomorrow will take care of it self....
wants life back
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Pulaski, Virginia
Posts: 44
Well, I had an eeg to see what caused the seizure I had and I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I did not know I had that as I thought the dope detox caused my seizure but it wasn't the cause. I now take depakote for it. I now have another reason to stay clean.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
ABT4life....
Clean and sober for pert near a year now.
Newly diagnosed Bipolar Type I....
The meds I take are basically anticonvulsant (for epilepsy).
But they are proven to stabilize mood swings ...are non addictive
I am alkie/addict....
So you are safe taking meds for the seizures...ask your doctor
about them and research ANY drug on the net.
And always...be up front and rigorously honest with any
doctor who treats you for ANYTHING from now on.
Congrats on day 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you,
Sherry
Clean and sober for pert near a year now.
Newly diagnosed Bipolar Type I....
The meds I take are basically anticonvulsant (for epilepsy).
But they are proven to stabilize mood swings ...are non addictive
I am alkie/addict....
So you are safe taking meds for the seizures...ask your doctor
about them and research ANY drug on the net.
And always...be up front and rigorously honest with any
doctor who treats you for ANYTHING from now on.
Congrats on day 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you,
Sherry
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Gatlinburg, TN
Posts: 244
exopiate;
Your post is a very powerful overview of the first step and goes to the essence of what I have experienced in my recovery so far.
I belong to a couple of recovery message boards. There is a lot of handholding going on, and a lot of "you can do it." Recovery message boards can and do deliver that important edge that can help an addict overcome, but just posting to a recovery board is not enough.
One site I occasionally go to, is full of posters who, while I have been a member, have continued to use. Tapering, relapsing, and "getting back on the wagon" with the full nihilistic support of most of the rest of the population. In essence, a board of enablers - not too smart.
I'm a year and change clean. It's my fifth attempt. This one has worked so far, not because I was empowered, not because my self-esteem was high or low, or because the moon was in Taurus, but because I was terrified. Luckily, this last time I came very close to dying. Almost expireing - that has turned out to be a great asset. As exopiate points out though, all addicts court that reality. My experience was more "pronounced".
It made me both mad and determined - almost rabid. I looked for and employed all the tools I could find. There was nothing pleasant about it. There were no compromises. Delay recovery to keep job? No - job gone. Delay recovery to keep car? No - car gone. Miss a meeting cause I was tired? No - out the door. Almost sadistic, it became easy to choose the right thing - it was usually labeled "uncomfortable".
I'm hardly out of the woods yet and the fight goes on.
In other posts I have pointed to the joy I am finding, and it is there. Totally worth it.
Tonight though, exopiates post elicted a powerful response. I hope I havent' scared anyone or hell maybe I do.
Your post is a very powerful overview of the first step and goes to the essence of what I have experienced in my recovery so far.
I belong to a couple of recovery message boards. There is a lot of handholding going on, and a lot of "you can do it." Recovery message boards can and do deliver that important edge that can help an addict overcome, but just posting to a recovery board is not enough.
One site I occasionally go to, is full of posters who, while I have been a member, have continued to use. Tapering, relapsing, and "getting back on the wagon" with the full nihilistic support of most of the rest of the population. In essence, a board of enablers - not too smart.
I'm a year and change clean. It's my fifth attempt. This one has worked so far, not because I was empowered, not because my self-esteem was high or low, or because the moon was in Taurus, but because I was terrified. Luckily, this last time I came very close to dying. Almost expireing - that has turned out to be a great asset. As exopiate points out though, all addicts court that reality. My experience was more "pronounced".
It made me both mad and determined - almost rabid. I looked for and employed all the tools I could find. There was nothing pleasant about it. There were no compromises. Delay recovery to keep job? No - job gone. Delay recovery to keep car? No - car gone. Miss a meeting cause I was tired? No - out the door. Almost sadistic, it became easy to choose the right thing - it was usually labeled "uncomfortable".
I'm hardly out of the woods yet and the fight goes on.
In other posts I have pointed to the joy I am finding, and it is there. Totally worth it.
Tonight though, exopiates post elicted a powerful response. I hope I havent' scared anyone or hell maybe I do.
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