Clean4today

Happy Birthday to me! Just turned 40 yesterday! And I get to unwrap a brand new DIVORCE. I am happy to say the I still have 72 days of clean time. Thanks to the miracle of N.A. and my sponsor. Before I got hit with the big D message, a friend told me he saw her riding with a guy on a Harley a few days ago. Then yesterday my daughter (who share’s the same B-day as me) we were coming back from town. She saw mommy’s car at the local hang out. So we stopped, she was there with my son having a beer with her new friend. She said that they are only friends. But I never saw her bounce out of a chair so fast to try to keep me away. I really hope they are just friends. But it broke my heart to see it. We had a picture perfect loving marriage until the drugs. That was my only downfall. I guess it is just to much for her. She can’t continue with the separation while I work my N.A. program. I failed before, but I was not in N.A with a sponsor and working the steps. I bet that doesn’t surprise anyone. But I know in my heart that this program is working for me. I would have used 4 months ago with this, but not now. I have to tools to deal with my emotions now. I have a gratitude list and it’s growing. She does say we can give it another chance in a couple of years if I continue to be drug-free. But she thinks separation can’t work be cause I will run up debt. I don’t see how that can happen with a $10 hour job, no credit cards, bad credit and living with my mother. It’s nice to get the job back in my field as a Chef, but it’s not the $45k I was making last year. I am trying to get back to that. My last thread was about that. I was obsessing on her program in the Codie world and not on mine. My sponsor set me straight on that. Focus on your own recovery and turn the future over to god. As it is now, it’s divorce ,I went through it with my parents, it is not good for the kids. Nether is a Active Addict father. But I am not active I am a recovering addict. I don’t think she can except that now. Now with the new job it’s going to be tough coming up with visitation. I did have weekends off, but now cooking at a country club which is closed on Wednesday, and the busiest time is the weekend. We will have to set up visitation during the week. That will be ok with me during this summer but, when school starts that will cut into my quality time with the kid’s. My mother can’t watch the kids, she is on oxygen 24 hours and I am watching her do less and less everyday. Bottom line here is what is best for the Kids??? Seperation..I have already committed to starting sending money and taking responsibility on my bills. Or divorce, which I know is no quick fix when kid’s are involved. Especially when a reconciliation in a couple of years is a possibility.

Peter

Just don't pick up that drug no matter what, you know as well as I do that it will only get much worse if that happens.

Keep up the good work.

SaTiT

congrat on your 72 days
and happy 40 th B-day

ccgirl

While I'm sad to see a marriage end, if you're happy, then it's a great gift. And the very best on your clean time.

P.S. We have a club here that has divorce parties. No kidding.