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04-11-2007, 08:34 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NJ
Posts: 7
| Hello
Hi everyone, I just posted in the Newcomers to Recovery. I have been in for 9 days. I am a pillhead! TC, Hydros, Oxys, benzos, cough syrup. You name it. I have stolen pills from close family members, people's bathrooms, drank their cough syrup. I know I am powerless over my addiction. My DH keeps his medication in a lockbox! I just want the cravings to end. I want to spend my energy looking for pills on something else, like my children. I am scared but hopeful. I am so glad that I found SR. Any ideas, info would be greatly appreciated. Thanks |
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04-12-2007, 02:56 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Posts: 877
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Welcome! Welcome from the official unofficial forum-greeter of Substance Abuse. :wink2: I am not sure what "TC" is and I'm having trouble guessing at "DH." Something about Husband-something or other, eh? "I want to spend my energy looking for pills on something else, like my children." -- I like that. Transfer of energy from old goals to new goals. "Motivation, like any other energy form, is not so much created as transferred or shifted, from one interest into another." -Me lol Growth- versus deficit-motivation for change. Desire to "fix" a deficit is flawed for it is what we focus on which expands. Focus on that which is lacking in your life, and lacking you shall remain. Focus on the person you would become and your energies are so directed. I am glad you found us. My experience, strength, and hope (ESH) will be genuine and therefore rather unique from most others, as I don't subscribe to the 12-Step model of recovery. For me, the empowerment of sole responsibility for my own recovery feels more authentic than any God model. Responsibility most poignantly applies in those earliest days, when cravings are hitting you repeatedly like a baseball-bat. Ain't a power in the universe gonna keep your butt sober if your butt still wants to use.  As my life of addiction was mine alone to either sustain or to end, my recovery too is mine alone to sustain or to wreck. Keep posting. If you're having a tough go, just know that now is the acid-test of desire to be free. It will DEFINITELY get better for you as you string more and more and more days behind you drug-free. Oh and my advice for you is so simple: Don't use while trying get clean. lol! Seriously--not picking up... a day at a time... is the only sure way to get past the pain and into a sober you. All else is pure philosophy in my experience. Ten |
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04-12-2007, 11:11 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Moderator  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,553
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Glad to have you PB. Stick around a while. For me the most important steps in trating my addiction to drugs was Honestly admitting I had a problem and comitting myself to overcoming them. Arm yourself by getting as much information as you can about the nature of adddiction and the treatment options available to you. Get outside support (SR is good) but I also gained additional supprt through group meetings at AA and Narcotics Anonymous and I also had one on one counselling. Best o' luck to you. |
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04-12-2007, 11:22 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Trying to do the right thing.  Join Date: May 2006 Location: London
Posts: 4,354
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Hello...PB....  ....Glad you found us ... Yep,.. Readin and learning as much as you can about the nature of Addiction arms you with facts ...and it Helps ease some of the Uncertanty about where your at.! Welcome to SR... and What Peter said ....!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ Weve come along way and were Changing day by day  We DO Recover. We can Recover...! |
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04-12-2007, 12:25 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| High on Jesus  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pulaski, Va
Posts: 77
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Hey PB, im a fellow pill addict. Addiction to painkillers is one of the hardest to break. I wish you luck in your quest and if you ever need to talk just pm me.
__________________ The main thing is, don't panic. {o,o} |)__) -"-"- |
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04-12-2007, 05:24 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Posts: 877
| Quote:
LOL  Most important thing is, lick it any way you can. If this means embracing the disease-powerless model (as i see elsewhere that you are hitting meetings), that is FINE. Whatever works for you and gets you out of that rut in life. ... And thank you for reminding me of Newcomers to Recovery. lol I like what i see there, think i'll visit. this a big forum!! Ten | |
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04-12-2007, 06:21 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Getting out of my own way!  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Detroit ... but my heart is in Cali
Posts: 209
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Welcome......keep coming back here every day....It just does something good to you!!!!
__________________ **************************************** "Nothing changes..Nothing changes" ~Do Daily~ Am I meditating and getting closer to God? Am I eating and exercising correctly? Am I keeping up on my obligations and commitments? What am I doing for my pleasure? |
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04-13-2007, 12:22 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 28
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Hello pillbreath. I was just like you at one point. I was so deep in addiction that I was stealing my own father's oxycontin, until the point where he got a lockbox. That didn't stop me, since I would just take the key from his jeans while he was either showering or sleeping. Then, he got a safe. Didn't stop me. I searched frivilously for the combination while he would be gone running errands. Finally found it in a filing cabinet. That went on for a little while, and now he got rid of his meds altogether (he now has a morphine/Baclofen pump that delivers medicine as he needs it, pretty interesting really). Honestly, if you want to at least try to end your cravings and TRY to live a normal life, give Suboxone a go. I recommend it to everyone I know who is having a hard time with opiate addictions, because I honestly believe it has one of the best success rates. But, Suboxone only fights half the battle... You also should (note how I am only suggesting) that you try to get some outpatient therapy, go to NA meetings, and find a sponsor! (Note, that the sponsor thing didn't work so well for me, since most sponsors in my area are abstinence based only, and do not support my Suboxone use.) But I wish you the best of luck pillbreath. This is a great community and I am very glad I came upon it. This, along with my outpatient therapy and Suboxone, are helping me to overcome my addiction so well. It's good to just get your feelings about your addiction out in the open! |
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04-13-2007, 12:30 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Langley B.C.
Posts: 15
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Hi Pillbreath One minute, hour, day, at a time! I beleive all you need to recover is found inside you. It is a matter of willingness and then accessing your strength and courage that is inside, and using it! Julie |
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04-13-2007, 03:06 AM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Posts: 877
| Quote:
I am surprised, really, that NA people wouldn't be far more tolerant of substitution kinds of therapy--whether short-term, longterm or what have you. Really, I mean what business is it of theirs so long as a person is striving forward? That's a shame. | |
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04-13-2007, 01:21 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| outtahere Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 523
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Life's just much too hard today / I hear ev'ry mother say / The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore / And if you take more of those / you will get an overdose / No more running for the shelter / of a mother's little helper  Rolling Stones
__________________ Someone here said I said something I didn't say and I am not allowed to show it is not something I said, so I wont be posting on SR anymore. |
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04-13-2007, 09:55 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Dopeless Hope Fiend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 1,674
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I am glad you are here too!! So are you trying to get off the stuff? Doing the shake and bake detox or have you stopped using yet?? You are worth it ...don't miss the miracle... love north |
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