ex-dealer called me

[Hope]

My ex-dealer called me and left a message on my phone but I erased it without even listening to it. I wasn't listening to that bs of him trying to be my friend only to sell me misery and take my money. No way. That's all he wants. If I died, he wouldn't care... he'd just say "oh there goes some of my income" and go on to sell his poison to someone else. It's all a pack of lies.

I knew I could not have listened to it or I would've been craving. I've got too much to lose to go back down that road.

[parentrecovers]

wow! i am proud of you! good recovery! blessings, k

[Peter]

Well done.They can be great actors you know.

[kittykat01]

You know I went through that also. Isn't it funny how they think that we are so stupid to think that they only want to be our friend???? I mean come on, I wasnt born yesterday. And being a dope fiend, well I am ashamed to say, I have lied, cheated, and played all the games, to get high. So, when my xdealer tried that one on me, I laughed and hung up. Wasn't it powerful, to not give a second thought to get rid of the message??? It was for me. I remember once, in my active addiction, I got arrested. I had this one dealer that was the only one I used. He made $1000's of dollars from me. I called him and asked him if he would come pay $50.00 so I can get out of jail and he laughed and hung up the phone. That's when you really know who your friends are. The ones that encourage and support your sobreity and recovery. Good luck to you, God bless..

[chiynita]

That is fantastic!! Very proud of you. Keep it up!
And yea it's all about the money. So never feed into the BS.

[YouveGotStyleKi]

Great job.

That's probably the one thing I learned, and when I gave my goodbye speech at the end of my rehab stint, I said something along the lines of, "All of you that I have met in here have been more of a friend than ANY of my dealers or using friends ever have been."

Congrats though, and happy recovery!

[Brian1978]

I know what thats like. I had a dealer where I used to live and he was like always my best friend and claimed he loved me like a brother, then when I told him I was quiting dope he sudenly stopped talking to me and hanging out with me. Dope friends are no friends.

[Hope]

Great posts!

It feels very empowering to not listen to that message and call him back. Yay me!! LOL.

That was no small thing for me today. I'm glad that I immediately erased it without even giving it the time of day. It still caused some cravings. Somehow, just knowing he called got my mind wandering but I kept myself occupied with other stuff. I also slept a lot today because I felt like my body needed the rest. I'm so used to going 100 mph all the time and now I'm having to change gears and live like "normal" people. Hahahah... yeah, what is normal anyway? *grin* well, as close to normal as I can get.

LOL!

You all cheered me up. I am more grateful than you know.

[chiynita]

You are awesome.
Someone once told me I need to get in the slow lane and enjoy the ride.
I am use to going fast too.
I can tell you the view is beautiful in the slow lane.

[Change4life]

That happened to me so many times. If I had only had your strength i would have spared myself a lot of misery and might have some $ today. Good for you!!
I am happy to hear that you are doing well.
Beth

[Hope]

It took a while to get to that point of not giving in. I relapsed before because I listened to the message and then let that thought nest in my head. I have to let some thoughts fly through and not give them time to nest there in my head.

I look at it this way- I can either feed my addiction or my recovery.

My addiction never got any better, only worse. I picked a destination and said, "OK, LET ME OFF!!" This ends here.

I never *have* to use again.

[roadie58]

Good for YOU! One day at a time and you're doing the right things. btw, love your very cool sparkly avatar.

My dealer is my little brother. I talk to him occasionally and he stops in, but I keep it very brief and excuse him the moment talk gets around to junk. Summer time was always party time and I know that with the race (we're in Indy) right around the corner, substances are flowing freely around here.

It's a tough temptation and the thoughts do enter our heads, don't they? But you are right about the 'nesting'- I just allow those thoughts to pass through or if they want to sit a while, I 'Play the Tape' through to the last time I used and what bad things happened. I realize today that using will only mess up my life and I'm really starting to get the hang of life again.

You done good!