ultram addiction

[jane_668]

Hello everyone,it's been a while seen I last posted,I've been trying to get off tramdoland I did for almost 5months but then I relapsed 2 weeks ago.They strange thing is when they write on it that it has a low potential of abuse.I used to take 800 mg daily but now I'm taking 500 2or 3 times a week.

[mikiglen]

yep, there's a lot of us around that abused tramadol
i try to justify it seeing how it's not controlled and all that
glad you're back, you're tapering, i guess?
good luck

[kittykat01]

Welcome...keep on keeping on! We are glad your back!
With much sober love..

[jane_668]

Thanks for your support.It's really hard to go on after a relapse ar at least to pick your self up and start all over again. u just donnot know where to start and you feel so sad that u were just doing fine .why did you have to take that extra one time?I'm feeling completely lost.All what I think about is pills.Maybe I had my chance once

[jane_668]

hello everyone, well it was a bad relapse I guess becoz I've been taking 500mg that's 5pills for the last week .I wanted to try again but then I thought why don't I use since I already relapsed and messed up.I know how dump I am but I couldnot just say anymore no.I wanted a break.It really needs lots of strenth just to put an end to all of taht once you started again especially that I've been spber for 5 months and been craving the whole period .so it's as if like trying to benifit from the situation before I quit which I know I'll eventually do because I cannot continue like that forever.I really donn know what I am saying or maybe I'm messed up with the drugs.anyway just wanna say hi

[kittykat01]

You can stay sober, you just have to want it in your whole self. It takes alot of work, and it's very hard. But the benefits are unbelieveable! Don't beat yourself up for relapsing, many of us have, just pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start again. Its much better to live, than to give up....just for today...if you have to take it minute by minute, than do that...whatever it takes. If 'we' can do it, so can you...you are a miracle, and you've come this far. Don't beat yourself up for relapsing, most everyone has. You are strong enough to keep moving forward...and if your not, call someone, go to a meeting, pray, do anything but sit there and stew...don't overthink your relapse. Move forward. Think about what it will take for you to stay sober, right now. This moment. Today. And do it!!!!! I will pray for you...God bless you, with much sober love....

[ccgirl]

When I relapsed I felt like crap. Like I was letting everyone down. And you mentioned that all you thought about was the pills. That's a horrible feeling, to be chained to a craving like that. I feel so much better about myself when I'm not using. I too, craved the whole time I was clean. I didn't go to meetings; I think it would help. I started going; sporadically, but it's a start. Maybe you can too.

[jane_668]

Thanks all for your support.I tried to quit a couple of days ago but I was able to do that for 2 days only.Although I'm still taking my anti-depressant but my whole body started shivering badly and I became so depressed that I dinot leave the bed all day.That's really frustrating after being 5 month sober.so yes I feel like crap and guilty.there was no reason for more to take again.It's very hard now to strt again from zero.

[ccgirl]

Just remember, that horrible way you feel while detoxing doesn't last very long.

Also, the drug will negate the effects of the anti depressant.

[StagebearNJ]

Originally Posted by jane_668

Thanks all for your support.I tried to quit a couple of days ago but I was able to do that for 2 days only.Although I'm still taking my anti-depressant but my whole body started shivering badly and I became so depressed that I dinot leave the bed all day.That's really frustrating after being 5 month sober.so yes I feel like crap and guilty.there was no reason for more to take again.It's very hard now to strt again from zero.

I recently quit a 500-750 mg. a day habit. Ultram. If you would like info or insight, feel free to PM me.
Best,
Bear

[jane_668]

Hello everyone,I have been tappering down and now Ima only taking 3 pills.The withdrawal was very bad and at times I did think taht I will not be able to get through this but it seems I'm doing it.Yet I donnot know how to deal with cravings.That's what I'm most worried about .I always get clean then few months later relapse.I hate all this.It seems I'm not doing well in managing my thoughts.The problem is that I whenever things get bad I tend to use and make my worries disappear.Do u think there's ever a potential ,even if after long time,to go back to the state were we were before using.I hate my self for what I am know.I'm 23 years now and have been taking for the last 3 years.I donnot want to spend my life addicted to pain killers.I was first addicted to codeine than to ultram and I donnot know were I will end up.A friend suggested last week to trying shooting tramadol.He said I won't heart my liver this way.Frankly,I thought about it for a while than I said no.I can get all the supply that I need of pills.I have no problem with that.I used to take 800-900 mg with other pain meds and alcohol.I used to think that I will not wake up someday or perhaps maybe it's better to OD becoz I donnot see any solution for all of this.I 'm taking now an anti -depressant as my doc prescribed but it's not helping or I'm just so used to the high.I feel trapped .

[YouveGotStyleKi]

Hi Jane. Like everyone else said, never EVER give up! The best thing about recovery is that no matter how many times you relapse, it's always right there, right in your grasp! Don't think of it as this completely unreachable goal, because any addict out there has the potential to do so!

I was addicted to Tramadol for a while, when I was prescribed the pills for abdominal pain. I used to hoard them (my parents controlled them (this was after I went to rehab for oxycontin)), and then take them, about 900 mgs at a time. I'd be high for a while, but then I figured, what's the purpose?

Anyway, I'm guessing that since Ultram is a non-narcotic pain medication (JUST GUESSING!), that the addiction is mental. I may be wrong, but... The best thing to do would be to taper off.

NA meetings sound like a great place for you to pick up your spirits. I remember that when I was so low after relapsing time after time after time on Oxycontin, that an NA meeting was the perfect place for me. It's a way to go out and realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in the struggle for sobriety!

Good luck Jane. All the best!

[jane_668]

Thanks YouveGotStyleKi,I really needed to hear that.Tramdal is partially narcotic so I think they cause both physical and mental addiction by the mental part is the most severe.The worst in ultram withdrawal si the severe depression that it causes ina ddition to all the physical symptoms.There were times when I would spend all my day crying for no reason and feeling so low.Many times I wished that I could die and relieve my self from all this mess.I feel so guilty.I hate it when I start feeling down.Anyway I'm now taking 200mgs (2 pills).Hopefully I'll continue tappering.I know that the only way to live a descent life is to be drug free and that I have to keep struggling no matter what happens . It's our destiny.

[northbelle]

Hi there Jane,
Just wanted to tell you I admire you for what you are doing...You are doing a good thing and it is progress not perfection, try just sticking around here and reading. it works for me when I am depressed..which I am alot ..stay on the meds they probably are helping and I know they are not hurting!!
ONE DAY AT A TIME...screw the guilt..you are NOT a bad person..just a sick person trying to get WELL!!
love north

[jane_668]

u know North I was using drugs not just because I like to get wasted .I was facing so many problems @ home especially that my mom is mentally sick(Schizophrenic )so I never grew up with areal mom.I had to always depend on myself for everything and take care of my brothers.My dad is very loving but I feel a deep hole inside me as if nothing can make me happy.I donn feel like I have anything to hold on to and that nothing means to me.Donot figure it out taht I am trying to find an excuse to use. Actually I'm still tappering down and now I'm down to 1 pill only but I am not sure that I can stay clean.I have always used tramadol to get over obstacles .I just donnot feel that I can do it without drugs even if they were only numbing my feelings.But I know that I cannot use drugs and get a life .

[StagebearNJ]

Originally Posted by YouveGotStyleKi

I'd be high for a while, but then I figured, what's the purpose?

That, for me,sums up what I felt after a choice to use again a while back. I believe it's the natural response to using drugs after a commitment not to.
Bear

[jane_668]

Hello guys,I'm totally clean for 2 days now after tappering.I'm still taking my med as prescribed by my doc.However I really scared that I may not saty sober because of the many relapses.My problem is not just the physical withdrawals but rather staying sober.I donnot know how to do that for more than 2 or 3 months.I sick of myself trying and trying.It's a lot easier to use,not that I want to use again.I'm just so trapped.I'm like searcing all the house for any pill,whatsoever,just to take when I feel sad .I feel like a complete failure though I'm cleab because I know I wont stay sober.I don't want to continue lying to myself.

[northbelle]

Hey you know you are CLEAN TODAY. Nobody is even promised we will be here tommorow, I am proud that you did the taper!! I think it is pretty normal to feel intense craving!! I know I did at first too..Just today ..I felt the same as you when I got off heroin..I was so scared because I wanted to use all the time!! But I stayed clean ....You got any support around you????
glad you came here..keep posting...that is ONE thing you can do instead of searching for pills.!!! LOL...Hey girl..I love ya ..it will get so much easier. I promise..love north

[jane_668]

Thanks North for all your support .I really need it especially now because I'm feeling physically and emotionally so tired .I feel so depressed .They Tramadol has a small potential for addiction then what's going on with me.I even miss the idea of using anything.I feel weird and I'm not even knowing myself.I've been taking the pills for 3 years so now I donnot know how get rid of them.

[jane_668]

Hello everyone.I have been reading many threads on this site everyday but was too ashamed to reply.I've been taking tramadol pills for almost 3years .My family tried their best to help me but I simpply cannot quite a drug thats supposed to be non addictive.I lie to them every day aout my using.They have arranged an appintment for me with adoctor and I'm taking the medications prescribed to me along with tramadol.everyday I say today I will quit but then I take pills again.I'm being very honest with my doc but that's all what I'm capable of doing.I have a good steady .I function well even under the effects of drugs .I try not show any signs to anyone.I donn know what to do.Sometimes I feel so ashamed of myself that I wish I was ever born.I come from an upper middle class family that too loving and supportive.My dad bought me anew car that costed him $30,000 just because I promised him I will quit taking.My sis try to go with me evry where just to make sure I donnot take those pills.I feel so cheap .I donnot know what to do.Now I 'm taking medications and tramadol together.No one knows this.from outsdide I'm just as normal as everybody else.I always try to dress and put make up to cover up any signs of using.I donnot have any problems with withdrawals becoz of medication but my problem is with cravings.I cannot control them .I'm just too weak

[2ala2]

Hi Jane,
Don't be ashamed. You're just sick like most of us. You are not unique, lol.
Tramadol is exactly like shooting up Heroin, no diffirent. I could never handle the cravings alone. I promiss you they get better with time (abstinence) and a recovery program.
Sounds to me like you need a meeting, support in general.
Have you ever gone to an NA meeting?

[jane_668]

I really donnot know the things about tramadol that keeps it in my head. Where ever I go the the fist thing that gets into my mind is taking .it's like a huge nightmare that I cannot get rid of.The cravings are so bad that you cannot help but keep thinking of them .I d not know yet how to deal with all the cravings.the strange thing is even if someone is telling me that tramdol is bad I directly think of tking.It's becoming like an obsession.I really want to quit but i'm feeling hopeless.

[2ala2]

Have you checked out an NA meeting?

[jane_668]

Thanks all for your suport.No I havenot checked for a meeting because I'm not commited to my recovery.I just take 8pills 100ms together and wait and see whther anything will happen.I just cannot stop thinking of them.I'm spending all my money on them.I'm 23 years old but my father tells me that my movemnets sounds as of I'm in my 30s or so.I know that anything my go wrong at any second but I'm disregarding that.You just take these pills and you donnot know whether you will handle them and then if things went well you'll start to take more.I'm really so tired of all the withdrawals and recovery. Sometimes I wish I could just die and end all this pain since I'm can do no better than that.It's really sad to see all your dreams fade away.I'm so tired of trying

[freedombfree]

Hi Jane

Go to meetings even if you are not committed and still taking Tramadol, eventually the meetings will give you the strength to deal with them

Take care of yourself you are worth it!!!