spiritual or inner peace from club drugs

[scottyk]

This post is strictly my opinion and feelings and many may disagree..
I write this with sincerity and not being immature.
Ive been a raging drug addict up till about 25(Im 28 now)
Ive been clean of drugs for about a year now (except alcohol)

My drugs of choice was Ecstacy, Special K, Cocaine.
Every weekend My friends and I would chew, snort and swallow 10-20 Ecstacy pills of high MDMA potency.We would mix these three drugs in very high doses and stay up for days straight partying..I became addicted to Ecstacy, snorting it daily..
iT TOOK A VERY HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE TO never touch it again where I quit cold turkey. I suffered unbearable anxiety for months and withdrawl..
..but the one thing it did was teach me to love..to see the world with loving eyes and appriciate life and people..

I feel it gave me inner peace and changed something inside me.
I lived a very negative life of crime, drugs, violence ect.
and I feel the ecstacy opened some doors while closing others.
I am fully rcovered from the drugs now.
I am not being defiant or condoning any drugs, but wondering if anyone has experimented hard with club/raver drugs. Thanks

[windysan]

I think there is something to be said for spirituality and psychedelics. Bill W of Alcoholics Anonymous fame toyed with LSD and there are some writings out there about Bill W's thoughts on psychedelics.

I had my share of lsd and other natural psychedelics back in the day and I believe they actually did me some good. I do know that X, blow, and K are nasty drugs typically cooked up in a biker's bathtub and they are dangerous. I would venture to say that these "raver drugs" aren't worth the damage that they do to a person.

I think a cow does a much better job at manufacturing. LOL

[anvilhead]

i'm a wee bit older than you, 47, did a bit of acid in my early days...never was one much for psychedelics......til MDA. the original stuff. the good stuff if you will. man (at the time) was that the sh*t. loved it. it just damn near killed me.

i think sometimes when we get clean, or try to, or are on our way, we wonder, what oh what am i ever gonna replace <<<fill in the blank>> with??? thing is, there ISN'T anything to replace or compare. in recovery i've been in some real nice content peaceful zen like states, spectacular pacific northwest sunsets, pod of orcas going past, the laughter of a baby, all that........and it ain't nuthing like being blasted out of your mind on drugs. i'm a recovering crack addict....there isn't anything out there, non-drug wise, that would ever be the same.

always remember that those drug induced mind expanding moments were......drug induced. without judgement of good or bad, right or wrong, they came about BECAUSE of the drugs. and whereever we are in our lives today, we got HERE because of the path we took, because of the drugs, the booze, the heartaches, the bad sh*t, the fun, the pain.

i was a pretty bad off drunk when i came across crack. once i started smoking that crap, i didn't leave the house as much, wasn't out at the bar all the time, quit drinking hard liqour by and large. and then after a few years, began to wean off the dope too. so did crack keep my liver from blowing out my nose? dunno. just grateful i'm here today. and walking a path of recovery.

[Phinneas]

Hmm... drugs as a route to spiritual experience? How about spirituality as a route to spiritual experience?

I know from my own lived experience with drugs that while intoxicated, it may have felt like something spiritual, but when I was clean and clear headed, I realized it was really drug-induced gibberish.

[Ten Chips Down]

Thanks for sharing all that, Scotty. I know it took balls to do so. And welcome, ol' boy, to SR! I don't believe your profound life-changes were all the result of drug-induced gibberish. I accept that there are things we can't explain; and nether reaches of consciousness whose portals can be accessed via certain psychedelics. For whatever reasons.

Here ya go - here's my exposé on MDA & MDMA from a couple months back. As you can clearly see, I am very open-minded about it.

I myself never used those drugs but I have arrived at a point in my sober life that I am just deliriously happy, a ridiculous amount of the time. You can ask anyone on here - I don't get depressed. LOL That's not to say I am immune to life's slings and arrows. Oh, not at all! Shoot, take affairs of the heart--I can be hurt bad!

But so long as I just keep "being a good man," something my departed father used ask of me... life just seems fine to me. Paramount in that equation is gratitude and an ability to appreciate the tiniest of things.

Like money for instance. I'm a fiscal minimalist at heart and embrace the philosophy known as voluntary simplicity. It blows my mind that people of comfortable means can have credit-card debt! LOL! Hey, you take me now--I am uncannily happy just to be able to walk into the supermarket and buy whatever food I want to eat, without having to budget.

To me, that's livin' LARGE! Ha.

Sorry to have bumped your thread a wee off-topic.

Ten

[Doug]

Just a reminder of sorts....

The last thing we will do here, is glorify in any way using any kind of mind/mood altering substance. This whole message board is for recovering from such things. How to do it, where to get help and support, etc.

If this thread turns to glorifing anything, we'll skip the closing of it, and go right to removal.

[jbit]

I was a club drug addict for many years. Ecstasy, K, GHB, coke .... that was my M.O. for way too long. With these substances i thought i had found nirvana, not until i got clean am i realizing that it was all smoke and mirrors. I'll admit I had some great times, but, not nearly enough to make up for the catastrophic events that followed some of my XTC binges (hospitals, jail, psych units).

[windysan]

binges are not good. psych units are not good....i really didn't like those places at all.