Switching addictions and I'm so pathetic...

[Lizrox]

My husband is in the hospital with appendicitis and I asked him to save his pain pills. How pathetic am I? Boy is this disease "cunning, baffling, and insidious.'

I am also finding myself drinking again since my Ultram stash is gone.. I have been in detox 3 times. I really don't have the taste for alcohol anymore but something is better than nothing, right?

I see my psychiatrist tommorrow. I am planning on being totally honest with him since I haven't been in the past.

Love to all,

Liz

[StagebearNJ]

Originally Posted by Lizrox

something is better than nothing, right?

Yup, something is better than nothing, but you know it ain't booze.
Thanks, Liz, for trusting us enough to be brutally honest.
I cannot tell you enough how important it is going to be to tell someone "live", like your psychiatrist, the entire truth. It truly is liberating.
Here, by your cyber-side, I remain your humble servant,
Da Stagebear

[Done-With-It]

Hey Liz,

Just wanted to say Hey and good to see you posting. As long as your trying and being honest.
Being honest with yourself is the start right?
Keep fighting girl!

[northbelle]

It IS always good to hear from you LIz!! Hollywood is right...the fact tha you aer honest ...postong here..is a great start..
I know you REALLY WANT to hang our here and be clean and sober right??????????????
love north

[Lizrox]

I really do North; I'm just struggling so bad..

[northbelle]

I know you are..you just need to make a DECISION. You are like sitting on a fence..and you know addiction is going to kick your butt again in the end Liz. Make that decision and jump down off the fence...onto our side.

love north

[Ten Chips Down]

Oh, Liz. Dear Liz.... i hear your stuggle. Girl you ain't pathetic, you're just an addict walking that particular walk.

I'm 43 now. Most hell--all lol--of my "days of disaster" are far behind me now (like 12, 13 years ago). But when i had it really bad there was almost nothing I wouldn't have done, or strings i woulnd't have pulled, to get my drug of choice.

It was a strong, physical need alcohol was, for me. That's what we're fighting, ya know--no matter the drug--our bodies and minds are sickened by whatever substance we've been giving it and it makes us to want, want, want.

If you can come to a sure decision and match that decision with a willingness to do some hard time (that is, getting & staying clean), you will see the light at the end of your tunnel. That light represents... get this, because it's where I am.. it represents *being happy and feeling complete in a clean & sober state*

Can't imagine it? Me, neither! I couldn't!! But believe me, you will know freedom when you win it.

The struggle is worth every day that it requires.

Ten

[mikiglen]

it's hard, liz, i did the same thing so many times.....remember my st johns episode just in the last couple of months???
i'm here if you ever want to "talk", k?

[mackie]

Liz,

How are you?? and your husband??

I know you are struggling, but atleast you are approaching it with honesty.

In my sicker times, I remember switching other pills for pain pills in family members cabinets. They might have thought they were taking a Percocet or Lortab, when in reality, I had exchanged it for some Vitamin or aspirin.
How sick it that???? Thank God, those days are over and recovery has the firmer grip on me. It isn't easy, you just have to work as hard on recovery as you did on obtaining your dope.

Tell your husband to give the pills to someone else to dole out to him. You don't need the temptation! He shouldn't need them for much time following his surgery.........so have them flushed when he no longer needs them.

[elsa]

Liz,

as others have said this disease is cunning and baffling, my husband had some dental work done and was prescribed percodan, he being the "MAN" that he is used on pill. He through away the rest of the bottle and I fished it out of the garbage. What a a$$hole I am. I have been staring at that bottle for about 2 weeks now, I have not taken any, but if I was smart I would flush them. I am not there yet, but I am thinking about it. I feel like such a loser, but I understand where you are coming from.

Elise

[ccgirl]

You've heard the answer from so many that I don't really have any thing to add.

I can say, I've felt the same way, so I do understand it. I kinda wished I could smoke pot to get mellow since I can't do the pills, but I'm not gonna do that (I wouldn't even know how lol) and you can be strong too.