Please help me understand!!

[cubapip1977]

I usually post in the friends and family section of this site but I think you can offer insight that I need. My husband was addicted to oxycotin. He went into detox and has been home for almost 2 weeks. Before going to the hospital I busted him having an online relationship with a woman from our hometown. He keeps apologizing over and over and if I hear the words "I'm sorry" one more time I am going to scream!! He wants to stay together and work things out and I am not sure what I want. We have been married for over 12 years and have three children. I do not want to be that woman that checks up on her husbands every move. When I look at the cell bill and there is a number I don't know I assume the worst. I do not understand why this woman made him feel "so young, you are incredible and I want to be with you." How do I get past this anger that keeps coming out in me? My self esteem has been shot down big time!! Why would he do something like this? And oh the lies, he lied about everything!!!
Another question to any man that has been addicted to oxycotin, Does this affect your ability to keep an erection? If not, I guess that is just one more kick in the stomach. Lost, hurt, and confused. Please Help!!

[tropikgal2]

Well, most narcotics (opiates) reduce the ability to achieve or maintain an erection.
I also usually post in the Friends and Family section.
I woudl highly recommend counseling for yourself, for him, and for you two together. He has created a SERIOUS rift in your marriage, and it will take a lot of work to mend it. I know.....I am at that stage myself.

[mikiglen]

i wish you the best
this was one more obstacle that my A and i could not overcome...i just never trusted him again, and how can you have a relationship without trust?
good luck

[BigSis]

Hey Cuba... my brother had the "best" marriage. We all thought so. They married very young, and just grew up together. Had four children. Went through a lot to get those kids.

Then one day I heard he had an affair, and she was leaving him. Good! I thought, any man who would do those things was .... fill in the blanks.

But, like you, I think they realized there was a LOT more to their marriage than they had realized, and much they had taken for granted. They tried just "reconciling", but the bitterness from the wife (justifiable, but nearly intolerable) was overwhelming. They did go to counseling, and it helped. And over time, things got better.

I hope you can find a good marriage counselor and get in several sessions. This is a BIG thing to overcome, but it certainly CAN be overcome if both partners want it enough.

It just won't happen right away. And that is the hardest part. You won't get back what you had, but what you get back just might be bigger and stronger than what you had.

I wish you well.