been caught up

[Ann]

Angel, I too want to offer my condolences and prayers to you and all who loved her. You absolutely belong here and we appreciate you sharing this news with us, however sad.

My thoughts will be with you in the coming days and prayers that you may take some comfort knowing so many people here were touched by her life and care very much.

Hugs

[Done-With-It]

[quote=mikiglen;1236368]oh my god, cat was one of my first and dearest friends here. i feel like i failed her
QUOTE]

I know what you mean....... I keep thinking I should have reached out a little harder. She Was trying so hard....

[mikiglen]

i don't know how many hours and hours of ims we exchanged, but it seems i never could make her feel better, or if i did, it didn't last long
i rationally know that what happened is not my fault, or the fault of anyone's here, but in my heart, it hurts

[deedee]

(((angel)))

What heartbreaking news and I'm so sorry that Christine lost her battle ... may beautiful memories sustain you and all who loved her.

Fly with the angels Christine ...

[leeside]

So sad to hear it.

[BLackshirt]

Mayanne:

I am so sorry to hear what has happened. Christine and I emailed just after she found this site and was struggling. My heart aches for the loss that we all feel but most for her kids. She would talk about them in nearly every message. I pray for peace for them during this time and all of us as well.

Scott

[northbelle]

Angel, I thank god that she had a friend like you who could come here and share with us all..
I know you are not on this earth anymore cat..but this is your thread so I am going to say goodbye to you here. I always thought you were so beautiful and envied the way you were such a hard worker at your job. You always reminded me of a friend of mine up here in many ways. I just wish you didn't have to go ...I pray that you have finally found peace cat...
And maybe..now you can watch over Reese and be his gaurdian angel forever..
always your friend
love northbelle

[Nator11]

I followed Cat, Mikki and CC and I am so sorry to here the news. I cried because she seemed, last time I was on, to be doing well and she always looked so pretty in her picture. I am so sorry for everyones loss!!!!,

[Brian1978]

Very sad, she really wanted to be free from addiction and tried so hard. She will be remembered by me (and all of us) as a fighter.

[Lizrox]

RIP Cat...

[squirty]

I really don't know what to say. I am just so sorry she's gone. She was such a beautiful person with a beautiful heart. I just looked at her messages and realised that it was my thread that she posted last on. She gave me such great advice and clearly wanted to help me on a path of sobriety with her - she seemed to really want to beat this addiction. To be honest, I have not been doing well at all but I am going to try so hard in her honour. She took the time to try and help me out - I may be the last person she gave her generous support to.

Cat - may you find peace now and thank you.

You will remain in my heart.

Squirty x

[AcristicatAngel]

To MY Angel ~ Christine Despain Foakes

I will love you always and forever my amazing friend.... I don't know how I'm going to do this without you.... I can't begin to fathom the thought of you not in my life and by my side, but when the sky is turning its beautiful hues of pinks, oranges, and purples, and the sun starts to set, I will look up to the sky and blow you a kiss, brought to you on butterfly wings... Be well, my friend.... Sleep tight.... You are finally at rest....



HOW TO SAVE A LIFE by THE FRAY

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As she goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

[mackie]

Addiction SUCKS! This is just not fair at all!

I hope Cat finds her peace.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

[AcristicatAngel]

THANK YOU, friends, for putting a smile on my face this morning upon awakening for your THANK YOU for my post. That song, one of my absolute, all-time favorites, now has SOOOOO much more meaning to it than I ever could have imagined...

Hoping that you all have a peaceful, calm, and beautiful day!

To work for me, yah right?!?!

Much Love ~ Angel xoxo

[catcrazy]

catangel
I am truly sorry for your loss. Cat was a sweetie and she will be missed.

Unfortunately I can relate entirely too well, my best friend passed away jan 20, 2004. She was all of 38 when she passed. It wasnt an addiction issue with her, it was a chronic pain issue, and the meds ended it, whether it was on purpose or not I still do not know.
Talk all you want and pm me if you want it does help to get it out. Time helps as well, cliche as it is.
Take care of yourself !
Michelle

[AcristicatAngel]

I just PMd you, but forgot to ask "Are you really cat crazy"? I have six, yes, that's (6) cats, one of whom is trying to sit on my laptop as I type here. My crazy tux cat. He's always getting into trouble!! I also have a dog, a Maltese, who is smaller than my cats, but thinks he's a cat, so he is the "catdog" of the household : )

Christine stayed with me many times over the years, house/cat sat while we were on vacation, and actually spent a weekend with me in November (she had her son, Reese, with her one of the nights ~ the HAPPIEST I had seen her in a long time!). She was ALLERGIC to cats and still continued to come and stay and hang with me when she was down or wanted to bring Reese over. That Saturday night we were watching a movie, snuggled up at opposite ends of the couch, and she hadn't been feeling really well (just a nasty cold), but her breathing kept getting worse as the night went on and I ended up, at the stroke of midnight, driving her up to our local Fire Department for a nebulized breathing treatment in our JAMMIES.... We laughed all the way up and back, even though she was struggling to breathe. You should have seen all the hottie firemen coming out to see who was causing all the comotion out front!!!! We were terrors, the two of us together. Christine was ALWAYS loud and LAUGHING and turned heads wherever we went!! Looking at some of her posts, I see she wrote that she wasn't the person she pretended to be and didn't know herself at all. She put up an incredibly good front, because anyone meeting her would think she was "On top of the World"!!! Her loudness and laughter was so lifting!! I wish you could have all heard that. It was such a huge part of who she was...

Wow... That felt sooooo good! Thanks for listening. Look out... Now I'm on a roll ~ Ciao, for now

Love and Peace
Angel xoxo

On a side note to Miki, thanks for getting me going... You're the best!

[mikiglen]

lol, more, more

[lexirott]

Angel, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know about Cat from her posts in Misti's(Miki's) thread.
Funny how you can look at a picture and get an idea of someone's personality. Looking at her pic I would imagine her personality to be just like you're saying, she was a beautiful woman.

Please keep the stories about her coming

[catcrazy]

Catangel
LOL cat crazy yes a bit..only 5 currently..Have ..
a black British Shorthair, Nicholai
muted calico "hemmingway" or pollydatcyl(extra toes) Polly
grey kitty from Wendys parking lot(lol) Robin
black Cornish Rex, Louis aka Chicken
Orange Cornish Rex, Lenny

3 German Shepherds and one parrot.
I have been doing animal rescue with groups and alone for 15 years or so now. So the number of animals and type can vary on any given day..lol

So firestations and pjs equal hotties?? lol things to remember..

going to answer your pm now..hope you have the best day you can have, it is ok to laugh and feel good, our friends would not want us to be miserable for them. I know that Jo-e would come down and haunt me if I did..lol so fear motivated me some when I was down..

[BeginAgain]

I have been out of town and I am just seeing this. Oh gosh I am just completely heartbroken. It was so obvious that she was just a beautiful lady inside and out. A while back I poured my heart out and sent her a story about my own life, the loss of my child, struggle through addiction and ability to regain my footing and get my child and my family back in my life. Not things I have been very good at talking about as I don't like to revisit all that pain....but I felt drawn to try and help her. I felt like that part of her struggle hurt her so much and I wanted to give her hope that it can be done. I don't know if she ever even read it. I so hoped that I could help her or connect with her in someway so she would not feel so alone and so empty.

I just can't believe this. She was one of the very first to welcome me I think when I first started posting...I always read her threads and followed her because I saw myself in so much of her pain.

I am so sorry for your loss...our loss. In truth the world has truly lost a beautiful spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with you, her family and children.

[racegirl2448]

ANGEL -
I agree 100% with CatCrazy.... when she said it's ok to laugh & feel good cuz I bet Christine would not want it any other way.
I know right now it is a tough thing to do, I understand that every little thing like reading through her posts or driving by a certain place or coming across a certain TV show ...whatever the little things may be....I know it hurts and it hurts like hell but...... if you remember the good times you guys had and the laughs you shared together then it is ok to smile and be grateful for those things and not feel guilty for smiling & laughing while looking back at those things...... that is a big part of the healing process.
I believe you or anyone for that matter who has ever delt with the loss of a loved one must begin the healing process from the inside.....so you will heal from the inside out and looking back on the happier days you had together and feeling good about those days even if you only feel good/happy for a few brief few minutes that will begin the slow process of healing on the inside.....eventually it will show on the outside and until then it is ok to have mixed emotions.....it is ok to laugh & be happy yet cry & be devestated all at the same time.
It will be rough for awhile & confussing getting all those emotions at the same time but.... you will move forward and live your life the way Christine would want you to and take comfort in the fact you will NEVER forget all the little things that ment so much to both of you.... you have memories of her to last you a lifetime and noone can take that away from you....... noone can make you forget and noone ever will.
email me if you want and I will give you my digits so we can talk in person sometime.
-Darlene

[Time2Surrender]

I ****** hate addiction. ****** bullshit god dammit. I cant ****** come here anymore.

[racegirl2448]

I take your post as meaning that.... today was your first time here in awhile & you just found out that Acristicat passed away. I know it is hard to believe
I had to keep asking myself if I was dreaminh

Originally Posted by Time2Surrender

I ****** hate addiction. ****** bullshit god dammit. I cant ****** come here anymore.

[ccgirl]

Time when you feel terrible is when you need your friends. Don't go.



Angel, if you want check out misti's "help with home detox" newest part. I posted my picture and my girls' pictures. Maybe you've even seen me. I spend a fair amount of time in your town. My best friend is in the process of divorcing the "esteemed" fire chief there.

P.S. As far as cats, I count three in my family. A 17 senile old calico, a 3 year old Maine Coon, and an insane 2 year old orange tabby.


So, how are you and Christine's family coping? I hope you're doing as well as you can, considering. I think of you all daily.

Take care

[AcristicatAngel]

Well all ~

Cat's obituary is in the Cape Cod Times newspaper today (Massachusetts). Unfortunately, when I tried to view it on-line, the paper said that no obituaries were submitted for today, so it's not in today's "on-line" paper. Maybe because it's Sunday? Hopefully tomorrow's paper! I don't really know, but will find out today from Chad and let you all know. I so want to post it here so everyone can see it and read about the love her family had for her, despite her struggles, and to see her beautiful smile in a different picture. I believe this is an older picture of Cat, but her smile was ALWAYS the same. I think