help with home detox part 3

[TexasDumb]

kj0975,

Who you calling a 'Smart Arse?'

Am I going to have to come up there, too???? Open up a can of "Whip Arse."

H**l, we'd all probably try to drink it..................

I like you and your humor...keep it up.

Have a great weekend!

[mikiglen]

do you have a problem TD? i thought you were from my state...it's called WHOOPASS, not whip arse, geez

[TexasDumb]

Misti,

I was trying to pronounce it so New Yorkers could understand us......

But you are correctomundo, of course.

And by the way, I have lots of problems...but none a little money can't fix, ha. Well, I take that back...I don't think they sell new brains and new personalities......

How are you today? Well, I hope.

Well, I am now off to work....spreading my joy all over the surrounding counties...... I do get to work in and around Jefferson, TX today, and to me, that's always fun. It's a neat town - more like New Orleans than New Orleans at the present with the hurricane and all.

The buildings even look like the French Quarter.

Have a good one, don't be a stranger, stranger.

[kj0975]

LOL SO NEW YORKERS CAN UNDERSTAND LOL!!!! Boy your a true comedian.... I can understand just fine in my own mind I am a genious (sp lol). I will try to talk to ya'll can understand me. Does that mean I cut out all the vowels? Ya'll cm bck nw ya hear!!! New York translation- I will see you all back here soon!! LOL.

[mikiglen]

A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.

''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor.

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''

''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''

[mikiglen]

kj, noooooooooooo, you must not only keep the vowels, but each vowel is two syllables
y'a-all co'ome ba-ack noow ya heah?

[TexasDumb]

You too are too funny.

Used brains, probably so... Misti.
And we do tend to take a one-syllable word and make two or three out of..just drawl it oooouuuutttt 'till we get tired.
Or a three syllable word and make it a one-syllable word. Kinda fun, though.

And kj0975, your Texanese was actually pretty good.
AND, I noticed you used our word y'all...You mispelled it though, the you is the contraction part, not the all.
Don't fret it, I used to spell it that way too until my editor at the newpaper where I wrote explained it to me too.

I did not know that.

By the way, how do you spell "youse guys?"

I like you two gals, excuse me, women.

See ya when I get back from working these East Texas Hillbillies. Man, I swear some of the down in the bottoms places my Census Bureau job takes me, I think some of these people are kin to themselves......

Good day, ladies.

[mikiglen]

and don't ferget that saturday is actually saterdey, coke encompasses anything carbonated, and you are always "fixin" to do somethin

[mikiglen]

1. You measure distance in hours.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it, no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable,
grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page
but
requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
16. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
Christmas.
17. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern
Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
18. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
19. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or
off to "Wally World."
20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
22. Everyone around you understands "ya'll" and "yonder" and use them
commonly.

You know you’re from Texas when…

You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.

A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “cool” in the same day.

You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You measure distance in minutes.

You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy 3500 4×4 is.

You know everything goes better with Ranch.

You actually get these jokes and are “fixin’ ” to send them to your friends.

You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!”

Your family pet is the stray dog with one leg that came limping up to your door.

Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:

“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Dr. Pepper.”

* You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

* You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

* You can make instant sun tea.

* You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

* The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...

* You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

* You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

* You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

* Hot water now comes out of both taps.

* It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

* You actually burn your hand opening the car door...

* You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

* No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning...

* Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

[leeside]

Originally Posted by mikiglen

* You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

Which one put their brand on you: Chevy, Ford, Chrysler... or is it gettn too personal?

[mikiglen]

hey, i had thirty days yesterday, lol

[mikiglen]

today, i started my day by trying to take some stuff back to walmart to get store credit...jake got sick last nite and needed meds...i was about four dollars short and couldn't get it.
took him to the doc, and didn't get anything, either. although he did prescribe something for the other three which apparently have ringworms of all things
anyway, if anyone remembers, when my ex stole my car, it was recovered without the keys. i lost my house key and my mailbox key. so, a few times a week, i wait outside for the maillady so i can get my mail. today, i just happened to be returning from the doc's office, and she was there....i went and got my mail, and lo and behold, my friends money order was there. i was so thrilled, i just can't explain it.
i am having a hard time, cause i don't want to be a charity case, but it really felt so good...i got my internet and phone paid so i can go to work for my old boss from home, got some food, got the baby his meds, and gave the landlord about 1/3 of what i totally owe him. i gave that to him tonite, and he's happy, yay!
since i don't expect boss to pay me next week, this left me enough to support us another week also....and hopefully, my refund will come soon right after that.
my landlord is even talking about going ahead and buying us a house now, so everything is good
i just wish this person could understand how truly precious they are to me, they are my guardian angel. i just can't wait til i get my refund and i can pay it forward...that is going to feel so good
everyone, don't ever give up hope, things happen when you least expect it. it's just awesome

[ayla zaire]

misti....i'm so happy for you....you have no idea, i feel your relief....i worry about you, and it is so great to see you have some of that weight taken off of your shoulders.....

misti's guardian angel....whoever you are.....bless you.....and thank you for taking care of my friend.....she means a lot to me and it's a joy to see that there is someone in this world who cares about a woman who works so hard and faces her struggles with so much dignity....

((((misti)))) love you, sweetie....
ayla

[mikiglen]

love you, too, boop, more than you know

[TexasDumb]

Misti,

A big Texas YAHOOOOO for YOU!

For a reason, remember????

Your 'you know you are a Texan if'...are hilarious.. I can relate to them all.

The shade parking, coke, please..what kind, heater and A/C in the same day, signal means going and looking for and listening for a funnel..wanting to run or hide, but not knowing which is a good direction, not having to lock your doors, the infamous cow tipping ..my nephew actually dented in the side of his new pickup when the cow fell the wrong way... and Snipe hunting, one of my favorites from my first Boy Scout campout when my older brother and his friends had us newbies convinced that their tail feathers were worth $25 a piece on the open market (big $$$ then) and easy to find since their tail feathers glowed..we were sneaking around like idiots in the woods in the middle of the night, I can't fathom how they kept from laughing out loud.

While I was in the Air Force, I was stationed at Washington, D.C. for a while before I realized there was no "R" in Warshington. We had always warshed our clothes....

They used to get me to tell my story of working in my hometown steel mill pipe yard. And when I would say "pipe" they would all fall down laughing....to this day, I still do not know why the way I said it was so funny to them??????
But for me it was fun, too. I'd just walk by them and say "pipe" just to watch "them" bust a gut and hit the floor......

Sounds like you are in better spirits, wish I had been there with the $4 at the pharmacy......do you have PayPal?????

I hope all keeps getting better and more and more gifts from heaven fall in your lap.

[ayla zaire]

(((((misti))))) good night, sweet dreams.....and all that good stuff......see you in the morning...

ayla

[mikiglen]

oops, sounds like i need to clarify something here before another pillsy comes after me.
when i said jake NEEDED meds, he did not NEED them. i had ibuprofen and rondec at home, that's a rx for runny nose. his nose was runny, but he was also congested, and i have found that the best med that works for him is tylenol cold for infants. THAT is what i wanted to buy. so, please don't think i let him suffer all day...hell, i would have stolen the med if he truly needed it.....he had meds here until i could get what i wanted.
does that make sense?
don't want anyone thinking i am a bad mom

[RubyT]

Misti...do you remember the story I emailed you a while back about what happened with me? Guardian angels Do exist, love...and I'm so happy they found you. Whoever you are...BLESS YOU!!!!

Btw....while reading, never once thought you were being a bad Mom in regards to Jakes med...don't think ANYONE that cares about you like we do would think that!

[mikiglen]

i know, i just reread it and remembering the troll that said those things about me...just wanted to clarify it.
plus, i am being paranoid....i thought the same thing TD did....i posted about me altered W2, and for the first time EVER, i am being looked into. ok, who's the weasel?
lol
send me some red boots, ruby, i feel lucky!
love ya

[TamTam]

(((Guardian Angel)))- Thank you for looking after our Misti.

xoxo T

[TexasDumb]

MISTI,

I am a "G" man, but I am not your weasel. I think the boss did it...

I, too, did not think you were a bad mom..just having to do without too much right now....or at least it seems that way from where I am looking from.

I know you'll get by and make it.

I loved your crack about you'd just "stole" them if really you had to... ain't nobody or nothing going get you TOO FAR down, huh?

I guess I'll have to start locking my doors and as you know, that's a rarety here in Texas......

[Codieneaddict]

Originally Posted by mikiglen

and don't ferget that saturday is actually saterdey, coke encompasses anything carbonated, and you are always "fixin" to do somethin

Haha, that is soo true. Born and raised Tennessean here.

[northbelle]

Texas seems awfully small and crowded.
You've worn a evening gown to the prom , along with rubber break-up boots.
You prefer the smell of mosquito repellant over your husband cologne.
Six to eight inches of snow is a little bit.
Anything above freezing is t-shirt weather.
You have ever hit a pothole that totalled your car.
You have never seen the summer star constellations,
You earn over 80,000 dollars a year and still shop at Wal Mart.
You know if you tell your kids to "be home by dark"..they won't be home till the Fall.
You've never taken your truck out of four wheel drive.
You've seen anti freeze "freeze.
You would pay 10 for a old head of leetuce...



love north

[mikiglen]

You Know You're From Tennessee When...
You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson

"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.

You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.

You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all"

It's "Mar-vull" not "Mary-ville"

It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville"

A tabogan is a hat, not a sled.

You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again.

Every town in East Tennesse has a "strip" and they're not particularly safe to be in at night.

Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent.

Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced.

Sales tax is 9.5%.

You shop at Walmart for groceries, not at a grocery store.

You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER.

You or your friends chew.

You can't remember the last time you saw snow.

You have a "**** on" sticker on your car window

You know when Elvis Presley Day is

[mikiglen]

"Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net

You measure distance in hours.

Down south to you means Anchorage.

You know several people who have hit a moose.

Your school classes aren't cancelled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of ice.

You think of the major four food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy.

You think that moose season is a national holiday.

You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth.

You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak.

You've had cabin fever.

You own moose nugget ear rings.

Mosquito dope is a part of your daily attire.

You think the song Breaking Up is Hard to Do is about spring time.

Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or fish boxes) wrapped with duct tape.

A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM.

When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head.

You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car.

Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap.

Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often.

October is the month of your highest income.

The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one.

Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark.

You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska.

You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire.

You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora.

Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck.

You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office.

You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer.

You like your neighbors.

You know at least one pot grower.

You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October.

You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard.

You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies.

You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes.

You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.

You don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.

You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.

You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey.

You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device.

You learned to swim indoors.

Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.

Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.

You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos.

You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road.

Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am

The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time.

You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work.

Instead of plugging in your freezer, you've just move it to the front porch!

You open your freezer to take out something for dinner, and are faced with many choices, Pink Salmon, Silver Salmon, Red Salmon, King Salmon, Smoked Salmon, or Halibut!

You can play road hockey on skates.

You see signs saying Do or do NOT _____ but you never see any law enforcement people.