help with home detox part 3

[mikiglen]

oh god
my refund may take another TWO MONTHS
i have no income now
boss never paid me, no job
was counting on that coming
oh god

[mikiglen]

guys, what am i gonna do?
do i push my boss for my pay? i haven't heard from him since the 8th....i kept thinking he would call me, i haven't looked for another job, but i have to have one from home, and those are rare...i have nothing left to sell, still no car....am still looking at being evicted, cable coming up again....no more food money....the irs site originally said it would come on the 16th, so i paid as many bills as i could with my angel money, didn't save any....
oh no

[mikiglen]

i just talked to the irs
there is a "hold" on my refund
i will be getting a LETTER in a few weeks
i think i'm gonna be sick

[mikiglen]

how could i have done what i did?
i was so sure it was coming....i spent everything, EVERYTHING. yes, i got about half my rent paid, but i also paid FORTY dollars for kids haircuts, TWENTY dollars for pizza....ten dollars for pictures, 100 in groceries...i mean, just STUPID stuff! big bears for valentines....a shortset for the baby....i didn't know....i just didn't know
i am going to go cry my head off now....we are going to end up in a shelter, there is no way around it at this point...not again

[kj0975]

They couldnt tell you why there is a hold does it have something to do with your boss and the w-2? Boy misti that just sucks it really does. I know how it feels to be waiting on $ and when it doesnt come panic. I know you dont have a car but what about borrowing your moms to get a job? The kids can go to daycare, right? I understand the working from home and such but if there is anyway right now that you can get a job outside the home it would be so much easier. What about medical transcription with your medical background you might be able to get a job doing that I also think you can do it from home alot of people do. Look into ACS Computer Solutions they are based out there and have people work from home doing data entry. If I can think of anything else I will let you know. I will ask around I know my girlfriend worked from home doing something. What about the other job? Did that fall through? Something will come up. And yes I would call your boss he owes you that. If he let you go call unemployment you gotta get some income and yes you will qualify for unemployment. So just give them a call or you can even do it online now you dont even have to leave your house. Worth a shot got nothing to loose. I have never been turned down for it hell I worked for it!

[mikiglen]

nope, can't borrow a car
nope, baby doesn't have daycare, and neither does miki, altho she is in school from 8-3
i don't know what is going on...i don't owe any child support, no loans...since boss hasn;t called me, i don't know if he told them something, i just have no clue. i've never cheated on my taxes, i just made a damn mistake on the withholding this year, that's it. and what i put made my refund LESS than what it actually is, i would think the irs would be happy. i don't know what is going on and i am scared. the lady said they could hold it indefinitely.
i wanted to get a waitressing job right here, like just 10-2, or something through the lunch rush where i could make decent money and still be able to get miki, but then the baby got dropped from day care. that makes it hard, i can't work anywhere....i sure can't pay 200 a week just for him.
i can do medical transcription....anything like that. i will look into acs, and also the wahm website starting tomorrow. i should have done it this week, but i really, really thought the check was coming....first the website said the 16th, then it was pushed to the 21st, then it said "within four weeks", and now there is no time on it at all.....i honestly believed it was on its way, that is why i spent everything. i am grateful we don't need anything RIGHTTHISMINUTE...we're good on food for another week, i have cigarettes, don't need to go anywhere....the only thing i do need is tylenol for the baby and to wash a load of clothes, but i can do that...
i also could have done that insurance stuff from home, but what they want me to do is sooooooooo hard, i have never been able to do it successfully ( i worked for them a few years ago, actually two or three different times)...and also, this may not make sense, but boss pays the phone bill (which i'm sure he is going to let go when this month is up), and i have been afraid that if he checked and saw i was working for someone else, he would cut it off now, then i'd be stuck.... that is one reason i haven't called him. i did e mail him this week and told him i needed to work, but he didn't e mail me or call me back. i have been afraid to trigger him into firing me...mainly the phone, but also the computer....although i guess if he did fire me, i could get unemployment. he is also holding a check that was due last week, plus i gave him a month's pay, remember, for a refund i never got...
in addition, i need to also call housing, and have been trying, but no luck...the problem with that is, they want something from him saying i am unemployed now, and he won't cooperate...i don't know how to prove i am not working for him
i'm just scared, and now i finally realize why i want to use when i have no money. when i have money, i feel good, i feel competent and happy. when i don't, the hopelessness, desperation and reality of my situation sets in and i want to use to escape what is going to happen to me.
you know, i just want to give up. i can't keep fighting the hole i am in, i can't get out. i need to just start trying to find a shelter, accept the fact i won't have a car, have no daycare, no way to support my kids. it's just easier to give up

[mikiglen]

oh yeah, and something else about working from home for a company that is not local...i have a paypal balance of like 600.....most of those places pay that way, and i would really be stuck

[mikiglen]

if i can't post this, please remove it, but it's for me, north, RG, others who might need it, i know it's legit cause it's on the wahm site....
http://www.freedomathometeam.com/FinallyFree/index

[mikiglen]

wanna know how bad of a mom i am? jake was in a bassinette, cause i didn't have a crib. when he outgrew it, i put him in a pack n play cause i didn't have the money for a crib. when my angel sent me money, i didn't get him one, cause i thought my refund was coming.
my baby is sleeping in a playpen, or with me, he doesn't even have his own bed
i don't deserve him

[northbelle]

I know the feds get my refund every year. I wonder if it has anything to with your fines???
Sorry ...it sucks in this day and age being a single mom. Not much security. Sometimes the ONLY thing I know I have that I can keep is my sobriety. Without that I would be in the toilet for sure!!!
I wish I knew what to say to comfort you....I understand that fear of homelessness. I am always grateful to have my rent paid. Because I have actually BEEN homeless with Chance when he was little and stayed in a shelter...right before I ended up in jail..All a result of being a addict....

I am rambling and I know this does not help much but I just have to let you know I am here and I hear you. Sometimes there is nothing to do but let go and not try to fix the things we cannot change. It is hard living a life when we feel like we are always FIGHTING to keep our head above water. I know I do it too..
sorry , my words feel very inadequate right now..
love north

[northbelle]

That baby could care less where he sleeps...stop beating yourself up !!! Chance sleeps on a air bed..
If he's breathing at the end of the day..I've done my job.
YOU are meant to be Jakes mom.
When Chance was in state custody some family members told me to just leave him with his grandparents. That it would be best for him ..that it would be too hard for me adn I started to think they were right. But the truth is kids just want their MOMS..and dads too..but thats another story...
So I stayed the course and stayed clean and I got him back...
There are no mistakes ...you are meant to be your kids mom girl,
They like to judge me now about how I live too. i could never be good enough for them or be a good enough mom for Chance. I may not have a car or a job right now..but you know what??? Women like us always land on our feet...strong women who just don't believe in THEMSELVES.
You guys can come up here and stay with us if you end up homeless. You could make a living up here and I could help with the kids...You would also get our wonderful dividend every year...every resident gets a check every year from the permanent fund for about a thousand bucks for EACH family member!! Losts of people come here for just that reason too believe me. Families with lots of kids...we get people from all over just wanting to live here to get the dividend..Of course the state gets mine but chance gets his..
well gotta go..just want you to know we are here for you!!
love north

[mikiglen]

i love you, north, believe that
i have just spent the last almost two hours signing up for every friggin way to make money on the net that i could find, and have hours more to do tomorrow
i am going to try to go to bed now, so i can get up early....i am signing up for all these damn paid survey sites, as well as responding to craigslist ads and the wahm.site
i am going to start working asap, believe that

[Duchess*]

Originally Posted by northbelle

I may not have a car or a job right now..but you know what??? Women like us always land on our feet...strong women who just don't believe in THEMSELVES.
You guys can come up here and stay with us if you end up homeless. You could make a living up here and I could help with the kids...You would also get our wonderful dividend every year...every resident gets a check every year from the permanent fund for about a thousand bucks for EACH family member!! Losts of people come here for just that reason too believe me. Families with lots of kids...we get people from all over just wanting to live here to get the dividend..Of course the state gets mine but chance gets his..
well gotta go..just want you to know we are here for you!!
love north

OMG North, that is one of the most kindest things I have seen offered to someone. You are a true blessing to people!!! Mikiglen, you stay strong. You have done so well. You WILL find work. Just keep doing what you are doing. Much Love

[northbelle]

I am really just a wretched little woman.
Misti is just easy to love...and them kids of course.
love north...

I can't BELIEVE how much jon and miki look alike!!!

[ccgirl]

Hey Miki; I'm sorry everyting sucks right now. As far as the IRS, they're jerks; even if the error made your refund check less, they will red flag it. I guess they don't have anything else to do.

As far as your kids, if you love them, you're doing a good job. And North is right; the baby doesn't care where he sleeps. We had good friends that lived on their boat for a couple of years, and their baby slept in a drawer!!!

I don't really have any advice. Just know that if I could help, I would.

[mikiglen]

i know, and it's freaky that in reality, one looks like me, and the other like dad...i wonder does that mean dad and i look alike???
north, i want you to know, and there are some others as well....that WHEN i get settled and out of this damn financial mess i got myself into...you will always have a place, too. if i could help everyone out, i would, believe me. there are angels out there.
i have of course, been thinking about this all nite and i am going to e mail my boss. i am going to tell him that i have been a good, ethical employee (ex. he employees a lot of us felons and addicts...well, i found a 500 check about three weeks ago that had not been cancelled. i thought he had paid it to me in cash, but when he does that he usually voids it. i was unsure if i was still owed that or not, and instead of cashing it like my ex would have done, i called and asked him. i trusted him when he said it had been paid and i tore it up. should have kept it), and for him to treat me like this is unbelievable. i will remind him that he is the one who told me to set any kind of leads (i am going to post the e mail in a minute and see what y'all think), and i did what he wanted. that he KNEW i was doing badly and did not tell me. that he WAITED until he got his little old two checks outta me, BEFORE he told me, then held my only one. that he KNOWS i am not getting a refund for whatever reason, and STILL hasn't paid me anything. and that morally and professionally, THAT'S JUST WRONG
is that too emotional? i kinda like the idea of mentioning that i can send that e mail to the company he works for, too.
anyway, let me go get those and see what yall think. keep in mind, i have worked for him a long time, we obviously have a weird relationship, and it is not always as professional as it should be

[mikiglen]

thanks, cc, we were posting at the same time. i am afraid of what is going to happen, i don't keep records of my income, i just don't know. maybe boss got into trouble, or is getting audited...that's another reason i haven't e mailed him
i saw you are feeling decent, i am soooooooooooo glad, i hope it stays this way
hugs

[ccgirl]

miki, one year I was not doing well emotionally (I didn't know at the time,but I was bipolar) and I never filed my taxes. Never. That was in 1986. It never did catch up with me, so maybe you'll be OK.

[mikiglen]

ok, this is going to be in bits and pieces, ok? kind of confusing, i'm sure.
a bit of background...a few days before these e mails, i had gotten paid. when i saw him, he had told me that this client was "phasing out", that noone was setting leads for them anymore, and he wanted me to start a new project (he told me this once in december, and again in january, yet never changed me)
this e mail comes from an e mail from him telling me he wanted TWENTYFIVE leads per day from me (he had told me ALL the employees together were totalling about 15), or my job was in jeopardy. in this one, i am trying to figure out a way to get as many leads as possible...i had about four cities to work from , yet he narrows me to one (setting me up). remember, read from the bottom up:

call yellow pages - any business will work

misti wrote: then can i get more leads, please

wrote: Houston

misti wrote: if you need that many leads from just me, then i need to work in any area i can. st louis, chicago, houston.
can i do that
misti

END
do you know what it's like to call yellow pages instead of having leads? it's not easy. ok, this e mail is actually prior to that one, where he first mentions the 25. notice how i am gushing that he finally paid me, remember that? there is one reply that is coming under a different title, which i am referring to about "overreacting". this is the e mail that comes after he told me he didn't want this client anymore, cause noone was setting appts. i know this is confusing, bear with me. NOTICE WHERE I AM TELLING HIM THEY WILL BE BAD, I WILL JUST SET EVERYTHING, AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME NOT TO, HE BASICALLY OKS IT. do you get that impression as well, or is it just me? this is the important e mail to me. bottom up:

ok, then i will give you production.
i will have chargebacks, but you will have your numbers.
i need this job right now, i still have the baby at home with me and i am still trying to do everything i can to make it.
don't worry, i will take care of you. i've got three hours, i'll get your production

wrote: i need some production bottom line

misti wrote: surely you mean between everyone. you said y'all were only doing 15-20 per day total. if others are doing like 10 or so, how could i do 25.
now i'm panicked again
i'll just set everything i can, anyone who is interested, and if you take half my paycheck at christmas, well, at least you have your numbers
misti

wrote: I need at least 25 a day

misti wrote: i must have overreacted, i'm sorry. i thought you wanted to phase xxx out as NOONE has been setting leads. it's not just me, right?

wrote: We are about to lose xxx as a client so it will behoove you to set as many xxx leads as possible to prevent that from happening. If Iose that client then I will be making some changes.

misti wrote: please don't forget before you go out of town.
it's allowed on for 39 days past due, due date was oct 29th. i thought they said yesterday was my last day of service, but maybe it's today.
i need one good check before christmas :0
and thanks so much for paying me, you have no idea the difference it makes in my outlook and enthusiasm
misti

[mikiglen]

ok, i know this is boring, but i need to see it laid out like this, too...just skip it if you want. i need to see if this is something i can use...

i am just going to post this one as an example of his psychoness...this e mail comes about two days prior to the last one. notice how he is OFFERING me leads:

can you call off Yahoo yellow pages? If not I will have Michele send some to you.

misti x wrote: thank you so much mike for understanding. i really am trying. can you please have someone send leads for houston?
i am going to stop then tonite with just the 8 leads, and spend the rest of the time getting my apartments and stuff from there.
thanks so very much
misti

xwrote:
I appreciate your effort through all the challenges. Things will work out. Please call Houston tommorrow for xxx.
Thanks,


misti
i have done better and become more detached/upbeat as the afternoon has worn on. i am nowhere near up to standard, but damn, i hope to be tomorrow, and have done much better just this afternoon. i will be working all day tomorrow also, i am trying to get his chemo scheduled for friday or monday as it is an all day affair.
all these leads are solid, and i will continue working on and off until bedtime, as much as i can with all the kids
thanks
misti

[mikiglen]

here's how he sets me up. do you know i NEVER got an answer to this question????? oh, and this e mail comes about four days PRIOR to the above one. notice his cycles???

you are on notice

misti wrote: remember i will be out this morning.
i need clarification, though, on something, because this may be where my problem is.
i was told that if someone had dental insurance, but didn't like/want it, was too expensive and would rather have the discount plan, etc, they were qualified.
is that true, or is NOONE that has dental insurance qualified? i have set some, and still talk to people who do have insurance but it is through their spouse, and too expensive, or a bad plan, etc, and would rather switch to xxx after talking to someone.
please let me know
thanks
misti

[mikiglen]

this was an e mail i sent that should have gone with the middle set, where i am telling him don't come back on me later about the bad leads i set. he didn't reply

ok, i did your 25
i am going to stop now, as i need to save as many leads as possible in order to do it again every day this week
i told you not to worry, i will get your numbers, just please don't come back on me, ok?
thanks
misti

[mikiglen]

ok, this is the last one
this is the last e mail i got from him...the day before he called and told me to quit working. notice again, no explanation of what i was doing wrong, or how to correct it. i want to say, too, that this is the first time i had heard there were problems. i knew some of the leads weren't good, but he hadn't said anything to me, so i thought he was covering my ass like he should have.
he is letting it come back on me like i asked him not to:

I get another email like this I will let you go.

-xx


Date: Wed, 7 Feb 2007 0842 -0600



Good Morning ,

I know you have already spoken with , last week, regarding the
production stats of "Misti". I have another stack that was presented
to me
this morning of her leads that are non qualified leads. Items I
recieved
this morning are separate and are not included in the count accumulated
on
the spreadsheet I sent yesterday, for weekending February 4, 2007.

Have you spoken with this representative and what was the out of that
consultation?

Please contact me as soon as possible so we may resolve this issue
quickly.
Thanks so much for your help and cooperation with this matter.

[mikiglen]

ok, a couple more then i'm really done. these were my responses to the above e mail from which i never heard back:

i didn't know there were problems last week, , but now that you have brought to my attention that there is something (?) wrong with my leads i will be on top of things
i'm sorry, i wasn't able to correct things, i didn't know anything was wrong.
thanks for sending me this
misti

and

i don't know what is going on, i hope you tell that no, you hadn't talked to me about what was wrong so she doesn't think i just completely disregarded it.
the month of january i worked for free basically. i continued to get your numbers, not taking advantage of the fact that i would not be getting any income off of it. i thought that would again show to you that i am an ethical employee. seems like a lot of people might have just blown it off since they weren't getting paid anyway.
despite the fact that we couldn't (apparently) work anything out so i can take care of my bills and basic necessities after my income tax was delayed until the first of april, i continue to work and produce.
i will be more careful with what i write from this day forward....if this is such a problem with me, , can i not just go ahead and start the other project? it seems i am setting up to fail staying in xxx, apparently...if you want to keep me, why not put me on the new project so i can be a successful employee for you? i don't understand
anyway, i'm working, i will continue to work, and i will do the best i can until my internet is terminated.
thanks
misti

[mikiglen]

THIS is the last one cause i gotta go chase kids. i just wanted to post the original xxx contract (kind of)...the one where he talks about chargebacks (see, i wasn't the only one doing bad leads, i know that) and NOT about suspension or termination. this went out to all employees (oh, and i have NEVER seen my bad leads)

Based on my meeting with the owner of xxx is was brought to my attention the last ten weeks we have had 695 non qualified leads of which 250 for the periods of 10/29 and 11/5. Going forward as of leads written starting today 11/13/06 which are deemed to be unqualified by xxx, will be charged back to the TSR in the amount of $4.00. Unqualified issues such as wrong name, they have dental insurance already, bad number etc. will all be considered a bad lead. The deduction will be made the following paycheck with copy of bad leads sent back from xxx.
Our client is dependent on us for their success when they outsourced the lead generation function to xxx. We willk not let them down