My First Meeting

[im2sweet4u1983]

Tonight I Will Be Going To My First Na Meeting With My Mother In Law. I Have Been Supposed To Go All Week But My Fiance Seems To Always Find An Excuse To Not Go With Me And I Dont Want To Go Alone For My First Time. So My Mother In Law Agreed To Take Me. She Used To Be An Alcoholic And Has Been Clean For Many Years And She Said If It Wasnt For Aa She Would Probably Still Be Drinking. I Am So Nervous About Going, Ive Got Butterflies In My Stomach....now My Fiance Is Usually The Most Supportive Man Youll Ever Meet In Your Life But Everytime I Tell Him About A Meeting And Say I Want To Go He Gets This Face (a Face That Ive Seen Before So I Know What It Means) And Says Whatever Fine Then Lets Go. But When He Says It Like That It Makes Me Not Want To Go Especially Not With Him. He Is Having A Hard Time Understanding What He Needs To About Addiction. Me And His Mother Thinks Maybe He Should Go To An Alanon Meeting Or Some Other Kind Of Meeting That Is For The Loved Ones Of Addicts To Help Him Understand. The Problem Is He Is Hardheaded And Hates To Take Advice Cause That Would Suggest That He Doesnt Know Everything Ya Know? So How Would I Approach Him And What Should I Do Or Say To Try To Get Him To Either Go To Meetings With Me As A Support System Or Go To Alanon Meetins For Himself. Any Advice Would Be Appreciated.....i Will Write More Later After My Meeting And Tell You Guys How It Went.

[parentrecovers]

congrats on your 1st meeting!

i go to alanon and all i can suggest is that you go to your meetings and set a good example for your boyfriend. when he's ready, he'll go?

blessings, and let us know how it goes! k

[mikiglen]

exactly
the more you push him to go, the less likely it is that he will. once he sees you feeling so good after your meetings, he might want that, too
and i'll tell ya...there's nothing like a meeting. there have been times i DID NOT want to go, thought up a million excuses, but finally got in the car and went anyway...just to leave in such a positive, uplifted mood.
there's just something about them, it can turn your whole day around, it's amazing.
can't wait to see what you think

[im2sweet4u1983]

i know that pushing him wont help but it pisses me off that when everyone found out I was abusing lortabs he was the first one to throw stones and tell me I HAD to get better or he wouldnt be with me anymore but yet he doesnt want to be supportive in my treatment and be an active part of it i dont think thats fair do you??

[northbelle]

so how was the meeting ??
love northbelle

[mikiglen]

ooooooooooh, i can so relate to that, sweet
my ex relapsed for the first time in 1999. i stayed with him through using, prison, detox after detox, rehabs, losing everything.....
then in 2002, we had a fight and i did a really dumb thing...right in front of him, i swallowed about 15 sleeping pills (i was not in my addiction at the time, but was taking restoril)
of course i got committed to inpatient mental health...the first visit he told me "you know, if you ever do something like this again, i'm leaving. i don't even know if i can stay with you now"
so, believe me, i understand

[im2sweet4u1983]

Well I didnt get to go to the meeting last night theres always some excuse but tonight I decided to go alone so that I dont have to rely on anyone but me. I went earlier and found the building so I know exactly where to go and I am going to go at 8. I am tired of relying on people who think they want to help me when its obvious they could care less. So Im the only one who will ever always be here for me so me and myself are going to the meeting tonight so at least I wont be alone....

[cave5552000]

we learn that the addict cannot be trusted so the effort must begin with you ,which it has by going to that first meeting The only one that can turn this around is you and only you, but only for yourself, not for him keep up the good work and teach by example. Either way you are a winner

[leeside]

Did you say fiance or fiasco that needs a good that wont go with you?

[mikiglen]

while recovery is a WE program, life seems sometimes to be an I deal
it may sound cynical to some, and even wrong, so take this with a grain of salt...remember i am in early recovery, too
i have learned that i cannot count on anyone in my life to "help" me in any way. the only consistencies i see day after day are my children and their love.
noone else can i depend on
it's a tough lesson, but for some of us, that's just the way it is.

[northbelle]

Its a save your own a## program..fortunately there ARE real people to help us.
So how was the meeting??
love north

[im2sweet4u1983]

The meeting was great and I enjoyed it and I am going back to another one today with my mom cause she wants to go. I wish I could attend everyday but i know i cant so at least 3-4 times a week should be good. It wasnt as scary as I thought it would be at all, they were all normall people just like me I am definently ging to continue ging to them....

[im2sweet4u1983]

I went to a meeting with my mom today and came to a realizatino that I was the only one there who wasnt completely sober due to the methadone. I felt like i didnt have any right to be there. I felt so uncomfortable so I left and I decided that NA meetings are somethign I need to attend when I get COMPLETELY sober and use it as a sort of after care. I dont have the right to be going right now when Im getting high on methadone so I am stopping the meetings.....

[mikiglen]

you DO have the right...you have earned your chair every bit as much as the next person
you are not getting high, you are doing what you have to do to get better
i wish you would try it again

[im2sweet4u1983]

well right now like I said I am just not 100% comfortable with going but like I told you in the other forum I will try the ones online and soon I wlll try again with a regular meeting.