New member with cocaine addiction

[casa]

To keep things short & simple I have slowly developed a dependecy on cocaine. Don't know how it got this bad, but I need help and I'm scared. I work in a professional field where nobody would ever think I did drugs. I don't think anyone except my ex knows the extent of my problem...certainly not my family and I feel ashamed and out of control. I have progressed over the years from heavy drinking, to party scene doing tons of esctasy and now onto the coke. How much is too much and how do I stop? I need someone to talk to. Please help?

Casa

[michski]

((( casa ))) Congratulations on your realizations! This is a good moment of clarity for you!

You can get off that $hit! I was strung out on that crap for 10 years of my life and I beat it and I'm gonna give you some personal advice.

First of all, a big warning about quitting coke and then becoming a full fledged fall down drunk. When you quit coke, quit booze as well. Otherwise, like so many of us you'll simply switch addictions.. it's a "normal" thing to do for us addicts!

I know lots of professionals who dumped this habit by taking sick leave and going to a rehab. I actually quit with acupuncture and antidepressants, but because I didn't know about the "switching seats on The Titanic" stuff my booze intake increased and replaced my coke habit and then I absolutely had no choice but a 28 day program (which was good).

I'd talk to my doctor or an addictions specialist. You can detox off coke in a few days but you will be left with a temporary (but miserable) depression until your body can replace all the seratonin the cocaine and X has ripped off from your brain. I took prozac and it helped a whole lot. Give yourself a piece of time to help yourself.

It's obvious that the drug is snorting and dropping YOU now.. don't let it snort you ALL up so that you've got no money, no friends and no job.

Nothing will change if you don't initiate it. Make an appt with your Dr or a shrink or an addiction specialist and beat this crap before it beats you more than it has..... believe me, it can get worse. A whole lot worse.

[Time2Surrender]

Welcome to SoberRecovery. As for your question? I was able to stop and stay stopped in Narcotics Anonymous.

[BSPGirl]

Welcome. I was able to stop by going to this self help site SMART Recovery. michski's suggestions about anti depressants make a lot of sense too cuz for a while the depression was quite horrible for me, it lifted tho and due to bad experiences in the past I never took any medication for it.

Marte

[Arura]

Hello Casa....

Yep the dance thing was a biggy for me aswell,..

But yes that is Great you realize What is now happening...to your life...!

E's and the like,.. Really push your mind in to Bad places in later life as 'Depression',....lack of seritoin and Brain Chemistry goes all over the place...!

I Found that I Just carnt go Ravein anymore ,...
It was too much and You do get board of Thund Thund,...really ...! well i did and went into Auot pilot...when ravin at the End....!

This New Year's Im invited to a Great Rave and I AINT GOING....as i know what will happen ,..and Its not nice to be on the floor for days afterwards .!

Welcome To SR hon and Keep us posted ,....Yes NA do help ....'Lots'...!

...xXx...

[anvilhead]

they say One is TOO many and a THOUSAND never enough.........couldn't be more true with cocaine.......the beast that never sleeps.........you are actually in a better place than you may think right now.......cuz you realize you got a problem and you are seeking help. cocaine is one tough hombre to overcome, however we CAN and DO recover!!!!!! there IS hope. try meetings. and then keep trying them. put yourself on the day at a time plan, or minute at a time if you have to......just for today, don't use. do whatever you gotta do to NOT USE today. meanwhile, gets lots of rest, be as gentle and easy on yourself as you can - your body and mind have had the snot beat out of them, and need time to regroup. eat, vitamin B's, seek others in recovery, shed those that are not. most of all BELIEVE that you can overcome this.

[Running]

Glad you are here. I once was in your shoes and the only thing I can say is hang in there recovery is worth it. I've been off coke for over a year now. It takes time for your mind and body to recover, but the longer you go with out the better you will start to feel. Things that helped me. Exercise, counsiling, and just being around supportive people. Coke is a social drug and for me I had to stay away from the people I knew used it. I spent a lot of time here posting too. If anyone understands what you are going through the people here do.

Try to focus on things you love to do that are healthy for you and that will take your mind off things. Maybe you should share your addiction with the people in your life that care about you. Once I started being honest about my problem with family and friends It helped me to focus on staying sober. Honestly without the support of others I'm not sure I would have made it. Yet here I am. Hang in there it will get easier with time.

[Ithink]

i can relate to the "switching seats in the titanic comment" i started smoking when i quit drinking for a few months. I was about 4 months sober. Thats all it took for me to start smoking tobacco and marijuana. Like others said, coke is fairly easy to overcome from a physical standpoint but its hard mentally. Best of luck to you!

[acristicat]

Hi there
Fellow cocaine addict here. Messed up my life - I too am a professional and to meet me you would NEVER know I was an addict =- I am articulate and inteliigent, well dressed, so entertaining and upbeat.well spoken and a total fake.

No one sees me the day after I have been up all night doing coke by myself, usually, so afraid someone will find out. Sometimes at a cocktail party or work function or trade show when I am "working the room" and doing mything for my job I think to myself - "I wonder what they would think of me if they only knew....."

Those feelings keep me out there. Yiuck..

How much is too much???LOL - who cares about facts and figures - if you don't like what you do and feel things are out of control, there you go.

Get it together NOW - trust me , you can onlyfool tem for so long. And it only gets worse. DOne the research, done the thesis, got the degree.

[Dilberto]

Being a former Stockbroker- there was NO WAY anybody could know about my addiction. Looking back, I went through so much drama and inconvenience to keep myself high, each day. I am so glad you are fed-up. Read about my experience in the, "I'm New Here!" thread, and see what made me finally "get it"....

Zachary A.
Alcoholic/Addict/X-smoker

[jacob l]

If your realy scared then you should tell your parents, because it seems that you dont want to tell anyone that knows you. also you'll feel better about it and yourself. you've been living a lie to everyone else in your life, besides your ex. get help while it's not too late.

[Done-With-It]

Hey Casa!~~

Welcome to SR!~~ I can relate somewhat. I did meth and no one knew.
Most don't know to this day. I got scared and sick of what I was doing, etc.
I stopped one day, I found this board, had a therapist, and pushed through every craving, and got a lot of help on here. I did a few meeting when I needed them, did some Smart, I did what I needed to do to get off.
Different things work for different people.

Have you tried NA? Great place to start.

The desire to quit is the most important thing you need. :-)

[Keegan45]

If you think you have a problem, you probably do have a problem. I had a nagging feeling that I was using a bit too much but I thought, 'I'm really not using that much...just a bump here and there when out with friends.' Never during the day. A $40 bag on Tuesday and, maybe another $40 bag over the weekend.

Last time was Tuesday night and I feel like I've been sleeping nonstop since then. That's when I connected the dots. The lethargy and fatique have been personally shocking. I've always been a night owl but I've rarely found myself so tired and sleeping for so much of the day. I'm litterally dragging myself out of bed for brief periods of time and then returning to sleep for a couple of hours.

So, if it hasn't hit you yet be prepared for a bout of depression/fatique. I don't necessarily think that means you need to take other 'prescription' drugs to help you through.

I am curious if others went through this fatique thing and how long it took them to get through it. Any thoughts on diet would be welcome.