Lizrox

I have a refill of Ultram comming up. Someone tell me to cancel it; I don't have the willpower..

Something tells me something bad is going to happen if I refill it and i want to see my daughter grow up..

mikiglen

give me the pharmacy number and i'll cancel it for you

parentrecovers

so, is it canceled?

angelgirl

Hey Liz,,

Yes, cancel that refill Liz.. Then call the doctor, and tell him not to give you anmore refills..

Please get some support.. Some face to fce support, whether it be through a church, NA, Smart Recovery, whatever, just please get some support. It really is important, and does help Liz..

We are here, and we we are pullin for you..
Prayers,
Becky

mikiglen

if you want, see my thread for what i did with my docs/pharmacies today. keep in mind though, that i can't go to detox, i HAVE to do it the way i did. you don't.
you do what's best for you, i just want you to see what hopefully works for me.
good luck

northbelle

Yeah it is HARD to learn to turn the stuff down..but feel so much better when we do..I actually did not feel like I had a choice sometimes..the addiction tels us we HAVE to get high but that is a lie. We can learn to deal with temptation and sticky places . We are strong people us addicts and once we empower ourselves with recovery..well there is no stopping us!! You do rock LIZ!!!
love north

stonespike

I'm sorry but I think you are a drama queen. Well, there are better ways of getting good attention. Doing drugs and coming on here saying, "Please someone stop me!!" just doesn't quite work in my book. Nobody can stop you, and you know it. You just want these kind people to suffer and be miserable thinking about you. I feel just as bad, because I'm just feeding your need for attention.

I am also sorry that I don't think you love your child enough or more than your overly attention ***** seeking ways. You seem to be so stuck on(yourself) receiving attention, that you put your health, and your child's(future too) emotional and physical well-being at risk? That's good. Good for you. You are an attention wh0re... at the cost of your life and your kids life.

I think you have some problems. Primarily, you're addicted to drugs, and you dont do **** about it. From what I think, you have totally killed all your options. This message board is a good place to start & make friends who have issues with drugs, etc.... but it can only be the start. You have a very serious problem this message board cannot address for you. YOU NEED TO GO TO REHAB. If you choose not to go that route, then please stop taking up space on this board for "I cant stop, someone stop me!", "I just took 150 pills, will i die?", "I'm so bored, maybe ill take 200 more!" GET OVER YOURSELF. Stop wasting people's time, and stop f*cking with peoples(maybe even your friends) emotions.

I'm trying to help YOU. But yet, I am DONE trying to help YOU. If you dont get help, then you will deserve what you deserve for not trying to stop.

LIL_Pebbles

I can advise you that yes something bad will happen if you fill the Rx.
Are you currently active in using? If so now is the time to do a home taper off and tell your doctor about it and go that way for it is the best way. If able can you go to rehab? If someone told you No, would that really stop you? I don't think so for your will is poor, however you have the knowledge try to use it, the addict mind when triggerd has little to none, your not alone and we all suffer before we can see the golden light, it is there. my sister who is an addict to Heroin/Crack has a Daughter age 18 months, she is sliping and as much as she loves her daughter, the state will take her and this is not getting through to my sister for the state is off her ass and now? All hell is going to bust open, my sister use during her pregnacy, I can't imagine her using while trying to be a mom, knowing my sister age 34 been using since age 16, God sometimes children are not enough to make one stop, Get to a NA meeting, put the breaks on, rat yourself out to your doctor, once you do this and more leg work all will seem a better way to live, keep coming back online and all.

God Speed>>>>

Buzz Kilowatt

*****

I've been away from the boards for awhile. But it seems like the tone has shifted (e.g. Trammy's posts).

I thought one of the principles of this forum was not to take another person's inventory. Stonespike . . . . if I remember correctly, you were struggling not too long ago.

We're all struggling in one way or another. What is easy for one may be hard for the other.

What happened to simple compassion?


Buzz

mikiglen

i will share a similar "bad feeling" experience if you don't mind. it was about two years into my habit, where i had progressed to calling in my own prescriptions. well, i called one into a pharmacy that morning. instead of jonesing for it, i hesitated to pick it up, but i did anyway. while i was there, it sure was taking a long time to fill. i'd gotten away with this before, but started to get nervous. i'm not religious by any means, but i heard a distinct voice tell me "the police are coming, leave". i ignored it.
that was my first of three felony arrests.
please heed your feelings
just two cents

stonespike

Buzz, you are right. And that last bit was more anger than anything. But the way she talks is more like an ultimatum. She just does not appear be trying to fix the problem! Shes comes on here telling us the insane amount she took. But never what she is doing to correct the problem.

I knew I had a problem, but I also knew I had to do something about it. If I kept coming onto the board, and telling you guys about how high I got, or how i'm miserable, havent done a damn thing to help myself... then why should you guys care, if I don't care?

The bottom line is: How can we help her, if shes not trying or willing to help herself? I know its tough sometimes, when your self worth is so shattered that you feel you deserve to feel that way. But at least... at least try something different! Or go to rehab, or go to some meetings! Not come on here, and ask for people to tell her to stop using. . . or that she comes on here, posts that she took a billion tramadol's, feels ashamed for it, but never tries to correct the problem.

stonespike

mikiglen - Yea, your gut tends to evaluate things a lot better it seems, than your addict brain does. I wish i would listen to my gut a lot more than I do. If history has shown me, many times I just told it to **** off... and I paid.

Sorry to hear about your troubles w/ the law. Hopefully, if you get on the right track you wont have to deal with that crap anymore.

mikiglen

lol, my last felony arrest was 11 years ago, although i have done a bit in the city jail because of traffic warrants, heh.
damn law abiding citizens, how do you do it?

seekingpeace4me

The day before my accident/dui, I knew something very bad was going to happen but I just couldn't/didn't stop. The way I was drinking, something was going to happen soon and seeing I got help w/o hurting someone else, I suppose it came out ok but I would rather not have an arrest record. Getting help as early as possible could let you have more control over the process.

stonespike

Liz, i'm just wondering how you are doing, i hope everything is ok!

snowwhite

I believe that people cry out for help in so many different ways...in addition, I feel like we each go though our own personal battles before we get to the place where we can begin to start to heal. I just don't think it is my place to judge anyone until I have walked in his/her shoes.

I know that this year has been extremely difficult for me and I could not have survived so many days had it not been for the love and support of so many of you here on this board. That still doesn't mean that I don't want to heal or don't want to survive. I am still filled with so much pain of losing my daughter and the holidays are especially hard. In fact, so many days anymore I am afraid to voice my opinion or to talk about how I feel to anyone, but I know that this young girl is hurting and is in trouble and needs all the support she can get. Otherwise, I don't believe she would be here. I don't have the heart to give up on anyone because I certainly don't want anyone to give up on me.

BTW, I still gratefully come here though I haven't posted in quite a while...only PMs lately. But I know that when I open this site to this forum just to read your thoughts and feel others' presences who've struggled just as I have, I still know that you all are here for me when I am ready to vent, cry, etc., and it's always a comfort just to see you all alive and so caring while still striving so desperately to help each other. I am thankful that such a place exists!